Me, A Goblin?
by Leriko
Summary: Life after death. It's a concept called reincarnation, however, in my case, it may as well be bad luck. I was reborn as a goblin, after all, and the goblins in this fantasy world rape and pillage without discrimination. Because I used to be a human, I simply can't allow such monstrous and barbaric things to happen. What do I do to stop it? I fight back against the repulsive beings.
1. My Daily Life As A Goblin (1)

I was awoken by a scream that pierced my soul.

Everything was warm but tight. I couldn't move, but I didn't want to. All I wanted to do was fall asleep once more. In fact, my mind was slowly fading away and I felt it difficult to conjure the simplest of thoughts.

But I was persistent.

After coming this far, after dying by being stabbed through the heart, I wasn't going to give up. I could tell I was being born again after my death and while I should be shocked and confused from such a thing, especially after what had happened mere moments ago in my mind, I was feeling excited. A new beginning awaited me.

Even though it was regrettable to have left my sister behind, a bright future was awaiting me where I can fulfill my hopes and dreams.

As the light became brighter, I grinned in my mind.

But the face that stared back was not something I was expecting.

With green skin, two pointed ears, a large pointed nose and horrible teeth, as well as yellow reptile eyes and a perverted grin, something was staring back at me.

I immediately regret being persistent in staying awake. In fact, I didn't want to leave the womb. I could tell I wasn't being born a human and was going to be something more monstrous and it wasn't exactly hard to figure out what it was I was going to be.

After a moment of severe tightness around my head, my little body fell to the ground in front of the green person. They were tall to me but judging by the roof of the cave I was born in, they weren't very tall. They were partly muscly, sure, but they had a small body that was scrawny and mustn't have been bigger than a small child's.

To put it in terms I could understand, this man was a goblin.

That would mean, being born from a person whose skin I could tell was that of a ghastly pale woman's, I was also a goblin.

Despair reached my heart as my mother screamed again, my future looking darker than the sky on the night I had died.

My first thought was that of a simple 'why'. I couldn't comprehend this cruel fate; mere moments before, I had died a hero protecting my sister from what would have been her killer had I not been there. My reincarnation as a goblin simply made no sense to me. Heroes don't deserve such a cruel fate, do they?

And then it struck me.

Having stabbed my sister's stalker in the stomach with the knife he used to kill me, he must have also died. Whether it was from shock or a loss of blood, it didn't matter to me. I'd like to believe my sister called the ambulance, but the chances that she was too shocked to do anything was too strong to ignore.

I almost bit my lip as I began to reject my reality. It was too cruel, after all. I deserved better than this. I deserved a meeting with the gods to congratulate my selfless actions, to see heaven, to enjoy my afterlife, or to die peacefully for not properly believing in any named gods.

I cursed the gods as their cruel joke was too much to be a mere joke.

The screams of the female, of my mother, became more intense, snapping me out of my thoughts. There were no words. Just pitiful, heart wrenching screams that made me want to curl up into a ball and cover my ears. However, there was nothing I could do in this body. I was just a powerless goblin child, a baby that couldn't even stand up properly.

I felt something heavy fall on top of me, another guttural scream echoing throughout the place I was in. This must be my sibling.

I managed to push my sibling off me and slowly crawl away from the woman, the equivalent of bile reaching my mouth as I resisted the urge to vomit once I had turned to face her.

Covered in blood, one arm missing and lazily bandaged and her body horribly scarred and burnt from what I could see, this woman, this innocent, seemingly human woman, had given to birth to me and was continuing to quickly give birth to more goblins. Excluding my sibling there was two more, making four of us.

The woman appeared to have passed out as her screaming stopped and her body relaxed.

I breathed a sigh of relief as her suffering had ended, albeit temporarily.

There was the squelching of flesh and liquid from beyond what I could see of the woman's body. I instinctually knew what the sound was and clumsily tottered around to where it came from, multiple goblins watching me with bated breath.

I held a hand over my mouth as the first thing I saw was a rusty, jagged dagger sticking out of my mother's throat, along with the blood sprays and pool that came with the removal of said dagger. Even though I knew she had been stabbed, I still wasn't able to deal with such a gruesome sight. I recoiled and fell onto my butt as blood spray directly into my eyes, forcing me to come to accept the fact that these goblins were brutal and unforgiving creatures.

And I was one of them. I have become a goblin myself.

A rough hand pulled me to my feet and grunted.

I instinctually knew I was being told to eat. But eat what? I glanced around the cave, at the other goblins, until my eyes meet the body of my mother. I backed away, frantically shaking my head from side to side as I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't eat her, a human who was still alive.

A goblin hoisted me off my feet and into the air, bringing me towards my mother. Her eyes briefly met with mine before blood began to run down her chin, her mouth overflowing with the crimson liquid. I held my eyes shut as tightly as possible to purge myself of such a merciless sight, my heart going out to the poor woman that had to give birth to me.

I felt something soft under me and I opened my eyes to confirm what had happened. The goblin had placed me on my mother's body and had dug their nails into one of her voluptuous breasts simultaneously, tearing a large chunk of flesh out of it. The goblin held it out to me as my mother began to splutter and waved it around in front of my face, urging me to eat as my siblings began to crowd around us like dogs, their hands reaching out for the meat.

Blood was dripping off the tender flesh. A wave of nausea overcame me as violent feelings of disgust consumed my entire being.

I turned my head away and simply stared at the wall as the gurgles of my mother became increasingly louder and longer, almost as if she was trying to scream.

I sympathised with her and wanted to end her suffering. I stared into her eyes to offer at least a small amount of comfort and watched as a goblin roughly pulled the dagger out of her throat, tossing it to the floor immediately as my mother began to choke on her own blood.

I climbed off her body, making sure to not injure her further, and approached the bloodied dagger, its pale glare beckoning me in the darkness. A goblin that was twice my height and width snatched it off the floor as I reached out to grab it.

My plan had been thwarted, but there was no reason for me to give up just yet. If I make him believe I'm doing it for goblin things, he should give it back. I had to tilt my head back as far as possible to glare at him in a way that he'd see me as he was twice my height and width.

The goblin's willpower crumbled, or maybe he didn't care, as he offered me the handle of the dagger. I grabbed it with both of my tiny hands, a frown forming on my face as I knew what came next.

As the goblin slowly pulled his hand away, the muscles in my arms screamed as I struggled to keep the dagger in the air. I was able to hold it properly, and that was all that mattered.

Knowing this, I approached the skull of my mother, noticing her pointed ears, and stared into her lifeless yet simultaneously shining green eyes that were bloodshot and drowning in tears. I gently caressed her head, my fingers getting tangled in her beautiful blonde hair, and soothed her with a quiet, husky grunt that only meant one thing to her.

She seemed to mouth a faint word of thanks before I managed to lift the dagger up into the air with all my might, my arms threatening to give way as they were not strong enough to deal with such exertion. I used all my body weight to plunge the blade into her head with a hefty downwards strike that left me leaning on her, her sounds of pain halting in an instant as her body lost all signs of life.

A quiet, self-deprecating laugh of victory emerged from my mouth as I pushed myself off her. I mean, I'd done it. I had killed my mother, someone who was a human like me, to end her suffering. My expression soured as I finally came to terms with what I'd just done. Unlike with the stalker, I was feeling guilty and disappointed at the same time.

I wanted to hear her scream more, after all, so I had to wonder why I needed to kill her.

My conflicting thoughts were enough to make me sick to the core. Deep down, I wanted to hear her screams as I ate her, see her eyes tremble as I violated her dignity and honour and her lifelessness once everyone had their share of the fun.

I stepped away from her and hunched over as I vomited on the floor, nothing but bile leaving my mouth as tears began to well up in my eyes.

I shouldn't be thinking of such things. I know I shouldn't be thinking of such things, so that's why I was sick. It wasn't because I _wanted_ to do those things. It was because the goblin inside of me was telling me to do such things. It was because of the monster I was inhabiting.

I released a shaky sigh as the goblins swarmed my mother's corpse, the squelching sound of flesh and blood barely reaching my empty mind as I felt my soul leave my body. Somewhere in the commotion, the dagger that was still in my mother's head landed on the ground next to me. I picked it up and cradled it in my arms.

If this was the beginning of my life, there were worse trials and experiences to come. I couldn't help but feel helpless at such a thought. I was a human in a monster's body. I knew the goblins had raped my mother to give birth to me because I knew that was my calling in life. I knew I was supposed to pillage and kill because I felt a desire to see blood.

But I couldn't simply stay still and accept my fate. If I don't act like a goblin, I'll die, but I'd rather try to make a difference than become a monster. Who knows, maybe I could save those who would have ordinarily fallen prey to goblins.

 _But you're supposed to rape and pillage._

Yeah, that sounds good. I like the sound of that. Being a goblin that rapes and pillages…

I held my head in my hands as a piercing headache struck me.

What was with those thoughts just then? There's no way I'd think of such things. I must be tired. I need to sleep, lest the goblin inside of me come loose.

 _You should eat your mother. It'll give you strength._

I needed to sleep. Yeah, I needed to sleep. I was thinking this way because I was tired and needed to clear my mind. Hopefully, the next time I wake up, I found out this whole ordeal was just a realistic nightmare.

Yeah, a dream…I hope that this is all one big dream and that the next time I open my eyes, my sister is leaning over me, telling me that breakfast was ready.

I found a large, empty space against a decently smooth wall and lay down on the ground. I curled up into a ball and resisted the urge to weep as the fate of my mother reminded me of what I had become.

That night, I dreamt of my old life, of the smiling face of my sister, and relished the small bits of comfort these thoughts gave me.

* * *

The next time I had opened my eyes, all was silent. It wasn't dark, and I was met with the sight of a rocky ceiling. My expression darkened as I immediately figured out I wasn't dreaming. I vividly remembered having dreams, after all, and as far as my experience went, I never dream inside of a dream.

A small part of me was still hoping that this was all a dream, but my logical side was depriving me of the strength that hope would provide me.

The cool touch of metal against my chest reminded me of a way out of this situation. But it was a last resort. An absolute last resort if things start to go south.

 _You're going to become a monster, eventually. Don't resist your urges._

I glanced down at the dagger and gripped the handle tightly with both hands, my teeth grit as these deformed thoughts entered my mind. I had to realise that I simply wasn't delusional and that a part of me was more goblin than I thought. I had to realise that the only way for these disturbing yet seemingly natural and pleasant thoughts to disappear was for me to die.

My grip on the dagger was tight enough for my hands to go numb.

I could die now, knowing that my fate as a monster is likely, or live and challenge my natural instincts in an attempt to make a difference; I felt a humanitarian instinct to save those would fall prey to these goblins in the future, after all, and it seemed as if that was the path the gods had set up for me, assuming I was able to resist my monstrous urges.

My grip on the dagger loosened as I managed to convince myself to live if only for a while longer. A hand shook my shoulder moments after and I glanced up at the monster with tired eyes.

 _They're not a monster. They're a goblin, just like you._

The 'monster' in question was a goblin, most likely an adult, that wanted to check up on me. It must be strange to them, after all. A goblin gave birth, mercy killed its mother and didn't feast upon her flesh. That appears to be the tradition here, yet I didn't follow through with it because it was disgusting and revolting and a monstrosity.

…Yes, that's right.

I had to remind myself that I was no longer human. I was a goblin, so it would be strange for me to act more human than monster.

 _Yes, that's right. You're not a human. You're a monster._

But I couldn't accept such a notion.

I had died for my sister and was reborn as a monster that serves to kill people. Is this a cruel twist of fate? A bad joke by the gods? If I could, I would have snickered. I was too weak to do so.

 _Eat. You'll need the strength in the future._

The goblin was encouraging me to eat my mother's flesh once more in tandem with the goblin in my head. I glanced at her corpse and felt the strength leave my body as most of her flesh had already been consumed. All that was left was her fully intact face that had been frozen in an expression that described the despair I was feeling.

I had changed my mind upon seeing my mother's body; it wasn't worth living if all I was supposed to do was capture women against their will, rape them and then feast upon their flesh. I was too human, after all, and such a notion was absurd to me. I'd rather die before committing such heinous crimes because I was too weak to resist my urges, or I was not strong enough fight back against the goblins.

 _You don't yet know the pleasure of taking a girl's virginity. It's the best pleasure known to all goblins._

I glanced down at the dagger I was holding against my chest and then at the goblin as the overwhelmingly sweet scent of a coppery iron entered my nose. The goblin tilted its head to the side and grunted as I managed to point the tip towards myself. I felt the tip faintly pierce my skin, but I wasn't strong enough to push it in any further.

I was too hungry. There was no energy left to put in my arms, let alone scream as a searing hot pain covered my midsection in an instant. I resisted the urge to sob as I was forced to accept my fate.

 _There's no need to cry. Just let yourself slowly fade away. Let the pleasure overwhelm you._

In the next instant, the goblin pulled the dagger out of my stomach and tossed it away with a shriek before it forced the flesh into my mouth, the pain of my skin tearing clearing my mind in an instant. I tried to spit the flesh out, but the goblin didn't want that to happen. It held my mouth shut and forced my jaw to move, my body going through the motions like a mechanical robot.

I hadn't noticed, but I was born with teeth. Small, yet viciously sharp and jagged objects that easily tore the flesh apart.

I gagged several times.

Another goblin fetched a water sack and forced the contents into my mouth, forcing me to swallow my mother's flesh.

It tasted raw and bloody and like a tough steak but to a goblin like me, it was a delicacy. Deep down, I enjoyed the taste.

 _Did you enjoy the taste? It was good, right?_

I felt revolted and disgusted.

I felt trapped.


	2. My Daily Life As A Goblin (2)

I had fallen unconscious shortly after being force fed plenty of my mother's flesh. I tried to resist after the first taste, but I was pinned down by other goblins and forced to eat. The mental trauma was beginning to accumulate.

I now earnestly wanted to die. What's the point in surviving if I must cannibalise my own mother to survive? I couldn't help but awkwardly laugh in my mind as I had to remind myself once more that I was no longer human. I mean, I can't be a cannibal if I'm not eating my own species. Ethically, there's nothing wrong with eating people. To goblins, they were most likely a form of cattle. I shouldn't feel bad, but I did.

I also regret being reincarnated. When I was presented with the chance to fall asleep after my death, I should have taken that opportunity to do so. Not dying was the greatest regret of my life. Perhaps I would have been born a normal goblin if I wasn't so persistent.

The situation was getting worse, too. I no longer had my dagger as it had been confiscated when I had tried to kill myself. I couldn't feel the comfort of the cold iron nor could I feel the painful pleasure it brought me when it pierced my stomach.

I sat up and looked around the cave, noticing my siblings sleeping together on the other side of what felt like a cavern. I envied their comradery and was spiteful at their attempts to make me an outcast. I didn't deserve any of this.

 _If you simply fall to your desires, you'll get more than what you deserve. Beautiful women, power, strength…all of it can be yours._

I clenched my fist hard enough to draw blood as my pitiful thoughts disgusted me.

I needed to show some self-restraint. If I didn't, I'd lose to the primitive instincts that were beginning to well up inside of me and do something I'd regret. I fear I'd do something that contradicted my humanity.

The irony of that thought made my rage worse.

Me, a goblin wanting to retain his humanity? It's already clear that these monsters commit plenty of monstrosities that would earn the death penalty in my old world. I instinctively knew that it was our duty to rape and pillage and devour humans because that was our simple way of life.

 _There's no point in struggling any longer,_ human _. You'll regret it sooner rather than later._

I felt sick. I wanted to fight back against the hand I had been dealt and kill all the goblins in the room. I wasn't strong enough, though. They disgusted to me to no end, not because they were ugly, but because they had done many unforgiveable things. To make matters worse, I had just been born and didn't have a weapon. I felt anger bubble inside of me.

There was nothing I could do to calm it.

* * *

There was no sense of time.

It felt as if a week had passed.

I had night vision because I could see in the dark cave.

I had a heightened sense of smell and I had grown taller. I wasn't taller than the other goblins yet, but I was getting there. I had done some body exercises during the week despite my starvation, forcing myself beyond my limits because there was nothing else to do.

I wanted to feel pain, yet I had no real way to bring it upon myself. Destroying my muscles was the only way. The feeling of waking up after sleeping was pleasurable as all my muscles were relaxed and I wanted to melt into the ground.

 _If you let yourself go, you'll feel pleasures that are far greater than that. In a sexual way, of course._

I could feel the muscles in my body begin to swell, but I still wasn't stronger than the fully-grown goblins.

* * *

I could smell something sweet in the air. It was like it was a mixture of the purest parts of nature I've known, the distinct and nostalgic scent of recently blossomed cherry blossoms being the most noticeable, with a hint of sweet chocolate lingering around the edges.

Where was this scent coming from? I continued to sniff the air as I rapidly glanced around at my surroundings, my mind slowly going blank as the sound of a distant scream barely echoed in my mind.

I stood up and went to leave the cave, but a goblin blocked me with a stern look and a shake of his head.

I wanted to be closer to the smell. I wanted to put my nose against it and sniff it for all eternity. In fact, it was so pleasurable, I was beginning to become aroused.

My little man stood up as straight as a flagpole.

 _So, you're beginning to fall to the temptations. What an interesting turn of events for someone with so much bravado._

I began to sniff the air more intensely, the other goblins beginning to follow my lead. A few chuckled, some grunted, and the others were cheering.

I immediately realised something was wrong. I dug my long, filthy nails into my thigh to snap me out of my stupor and that's when it hit me. The screams, they were distinctly female.

A pit of unease began to form in my heart as I resisted the overwhelming desire to breathe through my nose, my breathing becoming laboured as my heart began to beat faster.

Eventually, a trio of goblins brought a female to the entrance and cheered.

I sniffed the air once, risking everything, and immediately felt disgusted as the source of the scent matched their gaze with mine.

This girl, who was pleading for her life in a language I could not understand, was the source of the smell that was driving me wild. She appeared to be decently young, around the age of seventeen or so, and was dressed in thick cloth that offered little resistance against the claws of my kin.

I continued to bury my fingers into my thighs, applying enough force to pierce the skin and draw blood, to clear my mind.

 _Don't think of trying to save this girl. You'll only die. Wouldn't that be sad?_

Still, I needed to do something. Her sobs and screams were begging me to save her as I was the only one capable of doing so. To not save her would be to forsake my chosen path of humanity. Failing at the beginning of such a path wouldn't be too pleasant, either. Knowing me, I'd likely lose all hope.

 _Isn't that what you want, though?_

No…just shut up, already. I have to do something, I need to do something.

However, the last scream of the girl was followed by the tell-tale signs of flesh slapping against flesh. I grit my teeth and clenched my fists as tightly as possible before I charged at the goblin responsible for the penetration.

A second goblin blocked my path and pushed my feeble body to the ground, grunting as loud as a train at me. I knew it was a sign to back off, but I couldn't help myself. I wanted to do something, I _needed_ to do something, to feel good about myself.

 _So, you're being selfish about this, huh? You're more of a goblin than I thought!_

This isn't just for me. It's also for this girl I don't know. She doesn't want this fate and she doesn't deserve it and I have the power to change her fate. However slim her chances are, I can _save_ her.

Yes, save her…

I let the word save roll around on my tongue before a goblin planted a foot on my chest, keeping me pinned to the ground as I was forced to watch the violation and rape occur.

 _You're enjoying this, aren't you? You're some sort of rape fetishist, right?_

I felt sick once more. I felt depressed and powerless. I felt trapped.

That day, as every goblin, including my siblings, took turns passing the poor girl around, I was forced to watch with grit teeth and teary eyes.

* * *

I woke up with heavy eyelids.

I hadn't been able to sleep much because of the sights I had scene.

Bile rose to my mouth as I reminded myself of the sight of her lifeless eyes and bloodied body.

This…I can't let this stand any longer. I need to bring an end to these goblins, but I still wasn't strong enough. I need to push myself harder to improve myself. If I do that, I'll be stronger than the other goblins and will easily overpower them in a one versus one match.

 _Are you trying to abandon your species? Are you trying to abandon your birthright?_

I counted the heads of the sleeping goblins and tallied a total of twenty, excluding myself. It was a decently large number, however, there were likely goblins on patrol in the tunnels.

I glanced at the girl and considered setting her free, however, she seemed unable to move due to a broken mentality. I silently prayed she didn't scream when she saw me approaching.

 _Don't set her free. You know you want to take your time with her._

The sweet scent was mostly gone now, indicating the sullied state of her body, so there was no chance of me going wild. I took note of this discovery as I stood next to her, my eyes meeting her dull brown.

She was awake and she seemed to be looking at me, probably without any conscious thoughts. As far as I knew, this was good.

I held a finger to my lips to indicate that she should be quiet.

Her lifeless gaze was the only response I was given.

 _You know she won't respond. In fact, she'll only respond if you partake in reproduction, so why don't you give it a try already?_

I pointed at her and then moved my fingers in a walking motion, suggesting she should escape.

I was once again given a lifeless gaze.

And then it hit me. This girl, she's not a goblin and doesn't have night vision. She probably only senses my presence above her and is waiting for what she deemed the inevitable. That means saving her in a conventional and most likely silent manner was impossible.

I hastily and gently gripped her wrist and lifted it into the air, taking care to not scratch her with my claws. She didn't move and instead, her lips began to quiver as tears welled up in her eyes. I bit my lip and tried to decide on my next course of action.

Of course, that deemed to be harder than I thought as she was towards the back of the cave, the other goblins sleeping around her to form security. The only way for me to reliably save her was to drag across the ground, but that would make too much sound, would hurt her and would physically disturb the goblins that were in the way.

The other way was to pick her up and to carefully make my way through the goblin horde, but I knew that that was simply impossible with my current physicality. I wasn't as tall as the other goblins yet but I was probably stronger, however, that didn't mean that I, a monster who was the size of a small child, would be able to carry someone who is multiple times my height and weight.

I cursed and gently lay her wrist on the ground before I glanced around me.

Fragments of the clothing she was wearing were scattered about, but they wouldn't really do anything. I took the time to protect my modesty with one, though, as I had been naked this whole time.

I noticed the daggers and clubs some goblins had on them, but I knew the risk I would be taking if I tried to take one.

That was when I noticed the sack in the corner of the cave.

 _You're being foolish, and you know it. There's no way to save this girl._

Shut up. I'd rather die trying than running away like some dog.

The sack in question didn't have much in it. It had a spare change of clothes, sure, but other than a musty book, a few copper coins and a little bit of cheese and dried meat, there was nothing.

I stuffed a handful of cheese and meat into my mouth at once as my stomach roared louder than a lion. I left the coins and grabbed the change of clothes.

 _Goblins love shiny things, you know. They hoard all kinds of money, only to do nothing with it in the end. They're greedy and selfish, just as you are being now._

I placed the bundle of clothes on top of the girl and watched as there was a faint flicker of light in her eyes. She seemed to recognise my physique and took in a deep breath of air to scream, however, a hand over her mouth and a finger to my lip was all she needed to calm down.

She seemed to whisper something in a language I didn't understand.

I shrugged and shook my head.

I then pointed at her and the entrance of the cave.

Tears began to well up in her eyes.

My chest began to feel warm.

The girl stood up on shaky legs, clutching the bundle of clothes to her chest and took one step forward. She almost fell onto her face, however, I let her use me as a crutch to regain her balance. She slowly stepped over one goblin and then another, however, the splattering of a liquid on skin was all she needed to freeze.

The goblin underneath her stirred in its sleep.

It opened its eyes and sat up and then all hell break loose.

As the goblin wrapped both of its hand around her ankles with a loud screech, the other goblins quickly jumped to their feet and grabbed their weapons. I pushed past one and kicked the main goblin in the face and it let go of the girl's leg, however, her screams began once more as the rest pounced on her, dragging her to the ground with a loud thud.

That was the last thing I saw before all went black.


	3. My Daily Life As A Goblin (3)

"Hey, brother. It's been a while since I've seen you."

I was standing in a field of pure green, the wind gently sweeping through the blades of grass. My sister was standing opposite me, a melancholic smile on her face. My heart skipped a beat.

"You look a little different, almost gross, but you're still my brother, aren't you?"

Why is she here? How was such a thing possible? Am I dead? Am I hallucinating? Are we both dead?

I stepped towards my sister, reaching out to touch her, but I didn't get one inch closer.

She offered me a shaky grin this time and slowly shook her head, the meaning becoming clear to me.

There was no way I was going to meet her in the middle of this field. There was no way I was going to feel her warmth and hear her whispers of comfort. There was no way I would see her smile in my new reality.

I couldn't accept this crap. I needed her to console me, to act as my support as I cried on her shoulder and told her of the horrible things I've had to experience in my short life. I wanted her to slowly rub my head and hear her whisper sweet nothings to me.

My legs picked up their speed as I began to run for her, my desperation to touch her, to embrace her tightly in my arms and apologise, growing. But it was like I was running on a treadmill. There was no getting to her. I was reminded of my own powerlessness to stop anything.

"So, it's going to be like this, huh?" I muttered as I came to a stop. My sister merely looked down at me with a creased brow, almost as if she was stopping herself from crying.

"I'm sorry, brother, but it's simply not possible." I unconsciously took one step forward once more.

"Why? Why does it have to be this way?"

"Because you're a goblin. You're not my brother. He died a long time ago."

I froze in place, my chest twisting as a phantom pain began to spread. The arm I was holding out slowly dropped to my side. I stared down at the ground, finally noticing my green skin. I could feel tears form in my eyes.

There was a loud cracking sound as the world slowly fell apart.

* * *

The next time I woke up, there was a throbbing pain in my skull. I could feel my hands behind my back and didn't bother moving as I knew I had been restrained. My vision was blurry, and I could barely make out the figures I was seeing.

I knew these were tears that were blocking my vision as the dream I had just experienced was still vivid in my mind. I felt pathetic for crying, pathetic for showing weakness in front of my sister, and most of all, for showing her I was now a weak, pathetic goblin that had nothing to its name.

The only thing I could do to erase this nagging sense of regret was to get stronger, after all. I needed to show her, a figment of my imagination, that I was more than a goblin. That I was more human than everyone would think. That I was _strong_ , strong enough to do even the most impossible of things.

 _Oh, but I thought your sister doesn't love you, you poor, little, goblin baby. Why are you trying to prove to her that you're not a goblin when she's clearly expressed her dislike for you?_

I felt pity for myself. Crying over some stupid dream when I'd made my mind to live was the worst thing I'd ever done. Who cares if my sister doesn't love me anymore because I'm a goblin? I certainly don't. For all I care, she could go die now because I sacrificed myself for her. She doesn't deserve any better.

The regret I felt after having those thoughts was too great to describe. I shouldn't be thinking about those things because I made the conscious decision to die for my sister, so no matter what comes after, I shouldn't be mad at her. I should be mad at myself and at the goblins that were making me think of such things.

A kick in the stomach brought me to my senses as I felt the strong urge to vomit, a sharp pain exploding throughout my stomach.

There was a multitude of incomprehensible grunts before I was pulled to my feet, my hands still behind my back.

What do these guys want now? Surely, after my attempt to save the girl they had captured, they would want to kill me. Although the attempt had failed miserably on the girl's behalf, they shouldn't be showing me any mercy.

…There I go again, placing the blame on someone else. I should regret my powerlessness and strive to become stronger, but its easier for me to deny any responsibility in what went wrong. That makes me sick. I'm not this kind of person. I should identify what went wrong and not make the same mistakes instead of being a coward.

 _No, that's a natural thing to do. Goblins don't ever think they've done anything wrong, after all._

My vision slowly cleared as the tears ran down my cheek, but I wasn't actively crying. They were left over from the dream I had. The goblin in front of me quietly grunt once and gestured to a side of the cave.

I glanced in the general direction and immediately regret doing.

Over there, in that side of the cave, was the girl I had tried to save. But there was something wrong. There was something _very_ wrong with her. In fact, it would be more merciful to not call her a human anymore as she barely resembled one.

She was missing all her limbs, the legs up high near the pelvis and the arms at the shoulders. There was a great deal of blood and her wounds were bandaged with her spare clothing, but I didn't even know if she was alive. If she was, she'd die of an infection sooner rather than later as all of the goblin's tools were rusted beyond belief.

Perhaps she'd contract tetanus, if it existed in this world, and live a painful existence for the rest of her short life.

I shot the goblin a nasty look and he seemed to shrug before grunting once more.

He's saying its _my_ fault this had to be done. He's saying they had no choice but to do this because they didn't want her to escape again. They're blaming their idiocy and lack of common sense on me. They're doing the same thing I was just doing, only they were placing all of the blame on their own kind instead of a sweet, human girl.

I spat in the goblin's face and scowled, mimicking his expression. He pulled a dagger out from behind him and pointed it at me, but I didn't cower. If this fucker wanted to kill me, so be it. I'd haunt him from the grave, assuming I wasn't reincarnated again. In fact, all these goblins deserved the same treatment, so I'd haunt _all_ of them from my grave and let them live the rest of their lives in eternal fear.

That was when I noticed the blade had been stained red.

I resisted roaring at this worthless being as I knew it would make the situation worse. In fact, I take back my previous thoughts. If I calmly let him speak and he lets me go, I'll have the chance to kill him. He doesn't deserve any better for what he's done to this girl.

He doesn't deserve to live.

 _So, you_ are _condemning your species and birthright. My disappointment is immeasurable._

After I rip this guy limb to limb and shove his own manhood down his throat, I'm going to kill the rest of the goblins in cold blood. I don't care if they cry or scream or beg for mercy. They don't deserve anything after the sights and experiences they've forced me through.

I tightly clenched my fists behind my back and felt my muscles bulge.

It seems as if my restraint was only cloth, so it will be easy to break out of.

With a grunt, I tore the weak strings of cloth that were binding my hands together and pounced on the goblin before he could respond, one hand already around his small throat as the other grabbed the wrist that was holding the dagger.

As he hit the ground, his skull bouncing up into the air for half a second, his eyes began to frantically dart around the place. With his free hand, he struck me in the face, however, my grip around his throat only tightened. No sounds were escaping his throat.

After a few moments, he dropped the dagger on the ground and desperately struggled, his body convulsing to secure his survival. He glanced to his left multiple times, but I ignored his attempts at communication with the others and wrapped my other hand around his neck. I could feel his windpipe squeeze under my grip.

Knowing this, a wide grin spread across my face, even as he managed to grab a small rock in a hand and bash it against the side of my head.

I grunt at him, telling him that no matter how much he struggled and hit me, I wasn't going to let go unless he killed me. The blood that was freely streaming down my forehead was proof of this, and the goblin began to panic.

His hands wrapped themselves around my own that were gripping his throat, and he desperately struggled to pull them off him.

With one last swing of a fist that missed my face by a mile, the goblin quickly stopped moving. His body went limp, his eyes rolling back into his skull, but that didn't mean I was going to let go any time soon. I needed to maintain my grip for a few more minutes to make sure his brain died.

I glanced to my side as I finally felt numerous gazes on me and noticed many goblins were watching the struggle. Not all of them were, though. The rest either didn't care and accepted that I was going to be troublesome like this, or simply had better things to do.

Perhaps they didn't care about this goblin I was killing and thought he deserved to die.

I felt the corners of my lips turn up as the struggles of my physical labour were coming to fruition.

Killing this goblin felt too damn good.

The adrenaline began to wear off, though, and to guarantee he was dead, I shoved his own dagger into his neck without any remorse. I slowly rose to my feet, ignoring his chokes and convulsions, and shot the spectators nasty looks. They too seemed to not care about what had happened and were only watching the conflict.

I didn't mind, though, as the state of the girl was more important to me. Whether she was alive or not didn't really matter at this point as she was dead regardless of what I did, however, that didn't stop a tender feeling from rising in my chest as I gently knelt next to her after rushing over to her.

If she still had attached arms, I would have held her hand and checked her pulse but now…now she was a former shell of herself. I placed two fingers on the right side of her neck, gently pressing up into her skin that was as cold as ice and felt my lip tremble.

Now I knew why the other goblins didn't stop me from killing their comrade. It was because he was responsible for killing this girl in cold blood and mutilating her to spite me, the goblin that wasn't quite a goblin. He ruined their chances at producing more goblins and feeling the apparent ultimate pleasure, so in their eyes, he deserved to die.

I gently stared into the girl's cloudy eyes before I slowly and softly brushed my fingers over her eyelids, closing her eyes for the last time.

I resisted the urge to sob as my greatest failure presented itself to me on a silver platter.

* * *

I was feeling empty and a little broken on the inside, but that only encouraged me to carry on. What I was going to do next, I didn't know. I needed to grow first before I could exact my revenge, so I was aiming to develop until I'm comfortable with my strength.

For now, I needed to find something to entertain me until that time comes.

Among the items the girl had in her sack, the book she had on her was the most interesting and was the only thing I could pass the time with. I didn't know what it was about, how advanced it was or if I would be able to understand it, but with the right amount of determination and boredom, I may be able to learn the language of this world's humans.

It would be a much-needed asset, after all. If I was going to slay these goblins and leave for a better life after fulfilling my goals, I'd need to know how to read and write and speak to survive. People aren't going to spare me just because I'm not attacking them.

I _was_ a goblin, after all, and in fantasy works, goblins are pests that are to be exterminated and if these goblins have shown me anything, it's that they deserve to be exterminated. That is excluding me, of course. I am a smart goblin that knows many things. I do not deserve to die for I have committed no crimes.

 _As far as I know, your conception was the worst kind of crime. You're not supposed to exist in_ my _goblin body._

Anyway, the book itself was considerably thick, being around two hundred, maybe three hundred, pages long. The script it used was some foreign mixture between what may as well have been Arabic and Hebrew, but I had no bloody idea. I wasn't a linguistic and my mother language, which was Japanese, is the only thing I've ever known, other than the dreaded goblin speech I was born with.

And goblins didn't really speak, either. Their speech consisted of grunts and screeches, so they were literally animals in the way they communicated. They kind of just knew what the others were saying through the grunts they were provided.

It was strange, but it further reinforced the fact that these beings were monsters.

All twenty or so of them needed to be exterminated before they committed more crimes.

I erased that thought from my mind as I stared down at the words on the page, noticing how the characters were clumped together to form words like a language that utilises the Roman alphabet. That suggested the language would have a grammar structure like English or another European language, but that wasn't very helpful because I have no basis in these languages.

However, because my goblin brain should theoretically be like a young child's, assuming I haven't grown too quickly, I should be able to learn the language somehow. I don't know how it works, but if I learn to read through some miracle, writing should be no issue if I have the time and resources to practice.

Speech was the only problem, though, as I have no idea how to pronounce the words or letters. From what I've heard of the language so far, it's too confusing my Japanese orientated brain to learn by myself.

I nod my head to myself as I came to think of a future course of action.

As soon as I'm able to, I should slay all the monster here, leave the cave and find a human that doesn't mind me too much, so I can familiarise myself with this world's language, but only if the person was willing enough to talk to me.

Yeah…that sounds good. Escaping this place and learning new things about this world would be fun. I was reborn here for some purpose, so maybe I'd do something great and be a goblin that doesn't deserve to die.

Maybe I'd slay a demon lord or end a monarch's tyrannous reign and become a warrior of justice.

I awkwardly laughed in my mind as such a thought was strange. I mean, me, a hero of justice? At this point, I was more of an avenger and revenger than anything else. But was there anything wrong with that? As far as I knew, there wasn't a difference.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.


	4. My Daily Life As A Goblin (4)

It had been a while since the last incident. It's been long enough for me to become the same height as the other goblins, but not long enough for me to succumb to my racial instincts. It's only been a couple of days, after all, so there was no chance I was going to become a monster in that time frame.

Not when I'm starving to death with nothing to eat.

Indeed, the food the girl had on her had been eaten a while ago. No matter how much I rationed it, I couldn't diminish my feeling of eternal hunger and starvation because I haven't really eaten properly in this new life.

I hadn't been getting enough nutrients, protein or vitamins, so I'm surprised I'm even alive at this point. Although it may be a racial trait to physically develop on very little food, I've had practically nothing since my birth. It's a cause for concern.

Have these goblins never heard of the term hunting, or are they too weak and afraid to do so? Maybe they only feast upon human flesh. I have no idea, so I can't rule out the possibility yet, however, not doing so was giving birth to a strong sense of anxiety in my heart.

I mean, if it's been a while since someone has travelled by the cave, the humans must have learnt to not travel through the paths near here, right? That's probably why we're not getting any food.

I had to bite my tongue to suppress such thoughts. The longer I starve, the more my goblin thoughts come out, but I can resist them to a point where they do not bother me anymore, even if I occasionally slip up.

 _You're becoming more of a goblin every single day, yet you don't realise that your fate has been sealed. Give in, already! It's easy to do!_

However, I must deal with the problem of having these thoughts. In the first place, they're nasty and make me feel guilty and disgusting every time I have one and I feel a little bit of my humanity slip away with each thought.

I feel as if I'll truly become a goblin if I allow these thoughts to remain in my mind.

I guess that's why I've been busy staring at the book this whole time. If I had to be honest, I had no idea what any of it said and I wasn't learning anything. The only upside to having such an object was the small moments of satisfaction I felt when I realised the book was completely upside down.

It didn't have any page numbers, after all, so I was left to my own devices. There were no chapters, no headings and no dates.

I was beginning to think this leather-bound book was more of a personal diary than a novel or informative encyclopedia of sorts. If someone comes along and finds out I have a personal diary of someone whose bones are occupying a small space in this cave, I'd be facing the worst fate possible.

I'd die before I reclaimed my humanity and right to live a normal life.

I glanced over the top of the book and at my siblings who were playing with some bones, their physical and mental growth being considerably slower than mine.

…Yeah, I really want to escape here and live the normal life of a human of this world.

* * *

There was the distinct scent of cherry blossoms once more.

It was extremely faint and distant, but I knew what that meant. The other goblins did to and, as a few left the cave with their weapons in hand, a handful or so came over to me to make sure I didn't try to help the girl that was nearby.

I don't blame them for thinking that way but tackling me to the ground as soon as I stand and pinning me to the ground with a goblin on each limb was a little excessive. I was unable to move, despite my overwhelming strength, and I was reminded of my powerlessness to do anything productive once more.

A screech from further up in the cave made the rest of the unoccupied goblins, excluding my siblings, hurry into action.

The only goblins remaining were those that were pinning me to the floor, my siblings and myself. Excluding myself, there was seven of them.

If I wanted to do anything, assuming I managed to escape my captors, I was severely overwhelmed and without a weapon.

There were more screeches in the tunnels and the goblins that were pinning my legs to the ground sprung into action almost immediately.

It appeared as if my kin were being slaughtered in cold blood, however, that was a good thing for me. When their killer enters this cave, I'll be able to escape in the commotion I cause or, if the opportunity presents itself, I assist them, despite my theory that goblins are treated as nothing more than pests and I'd be doing something suicidal.

Maybe the people in this world know the meaning of compassion and are smart enough to identify unlikely allies.

Nevertheless, after not too long, the screeches began to die down. Did that mean the goblins won? Or was the victor whatever it was that was attacking them? There was no way for me to check, so as my curiosity became too much to bear, I devised an escape plan.

It wasn't very reliable as it assumed I had a moderate amount of strength and flexibility, but it was better than nothing. It relied on pure leg strength and willpower, too, so its chances of succeeding were next to nothing.

With such pessimistic thoughts in mind, I tucked my legs in under my stomach and managed to lift my body enough for my feet to be reliably planted on the floor. My back muscles were aching due to hyperextension, but I ignored the discomfort and put all my strength into the heels of my feet.

I managed to lift my upper body up by a considerable amount but because my arms were trapped, I couldn't go any further. Instead, as the two goblins watched me with spiteful gazes, the two forcing more weight on my arms, I struck my right leg out, resisting the urge to scream as I felt my thigh muscles stretch, and hit the goblin right in the stomach.

He reeled back, releasing my arm, and I took this opportunity to quickly spin around with a clenched fist. It connected with the second goblin's skull and sent him to the floor in an instant, his body limp.

If I had killed him, I feel absolutely no remorse. He deserved to die.

Following the immediate recognition of my victory, I quickly dashed out of the cave, limping ever so slightly with grit teeth, and into the tunnels with the goblin I had kicked following right behind me. I ignored him and forced more power into my legs, the pain in my thighs beginning to overwhelm my determination.

However, I carried on as I knew there was no point in stopping after coming so far. In fact, the pain was driving me to run faster and harder as I became more desperate to end whatever it was that was happening. It was a good motivator.

 _You think pain is a good motivator? Wait until you get your first proper taste of a woman!_

After a short while, there was the tell-tale sign of fire in the distance. The fire was small and seemed to be originating from the ground, so I couldn't help but feel hopeful and anxious at the same time. I mean, this could have gone two ways.

The goblins could have won, and the wielder of the torch was dead or unable to hold it any longer due to being maimed or captured.

Alternatively, the goblins lost, and the torch was dropped in the commotion to provide an easier range of movement and more reliable ways of fighting.

I heard struggling and the sounds of grunting after not too long and felt a pit of dread form in my stomach as the answer became clear to me. I couldn't reliably see what was happening yet as the light was somewhat blinding for my darkness-oriented eyes, but I wasn't feeling too hopeful for the brave people that had adventured into this cave as the sounds of grunts overwhelmed muffled screams.

And that's when I saw what it was that was happening.

It was a scene that was all too familiar to me at this point, however, there was a difference this time. There were multiple females, three to be exact, and they were still struggling against the goblins as there wasn't enough to completely restrain them. Thankfully, two of them still had a great deal of clothing on, but the third, the one that was farthest from me, seemed to be struggling to keep a goblin out of her with a single foot, the other leg being dry humped and consecutively pinned by a second goblin.

Most of the remaining goblins seem to have lost their weapons in the conflict too or they simply didn't have hands. In the case of the latter, they didn't seem to care about their injuries when confronted with the solution to their boundless lust.

I couldn't help but scowl as I swiped a dagger off the ground, not losing any momentum. I ignored the footsteps behind me and glanced down at the dagger, making sure it wasn't broken, and noticed the cracks in the blade. I shrugged as it didn't matter too much as a blade was still a blade, even on the verge of breaking.

I approached the nearest woman, who appeared to be a knight of sorts due to the plate armour she was wearing on parts of her body and thrust the dagger into the neck of a goblin that was fumbling with the removal of a chest plate, a grin quickly spreading across my face as the squelching of flesh was a sound that was too pleasurable to ignore.

 _You're betraying your own kind and for what? There's a trio of beautiful women in front of you! Just give in for once. It won't hurt one little bit, I promise._

The goblin slumped over, the blade of the dagger stuck in its neck with the hilt in my hand. I stared down at the hilt and then the blade, shrugged once more, and pulled the deceased goblin off the knight, freeing her arm. This gave her enough room to reach for a shining dagger that was barely in her reach.

I nod to myself, satisfied with my work, and grabbed another dagger off the ground, preparing to rush back into the fray, however, as this was happening, the knight began to swing her weapon around without any rhyme or reason. It proved to be effective, though, as she sliced one goblin's throat open, the others quickly retreating as they responded to the sudden threat. They grunt at me and asked me for my help, however, the goblins that were preoccupied with the other women began to untangle themselves from their prey instead, clearly intending on helping their comrades.

The knight grabbed a blade that was long enough to be called a sword off the ground and this is when I considered retreating.

The situation was beginning to get dangerous, after all, with the chances of me meeting an untimely death skyrocketing.

However, despite the belief the knight would punish the goblins that were in her immediate vicinity, she rushed over to help her comrades, a few goblins blocking her path. She decapitated one, sliced another in half vertically, and this was when the rest understood what was going to happen if they didn't move.

The goblins on the far side rushed out of the cave while the rest joined me to form a wall and, after a short moment of collecting her composure and making sure her friends were alright, the knight glanced in my general direction.

Our gazes met and, upon staring into her chocolate brown eyes, she nod once and turned away, ushering her friends out of the cave as the goblins around me began to scream and cry as they were unable to admit their crushing defeat.

That day, after a long period of time of waiting for the goblins who left the cave to return, I counted twelve heads.

The goblins had lost eight members of their tribe to the knight and her party.

* * *

It was late in the night, or perhaps it was any other time during the day, and I was awoken from my slumber by the quiet grunts of many goblins by the entrance of the cave. They were armed and seemed to be discussing something I was unable to hear, but I didn't really care about what it was they were doing.

I closed my eyes to fall back asleep, hoping they would die, however, one goblin grunted, telling me to get up because we had _work_ we needed to do. I couldn't possibly imagine what kind of work we'd be doing, but I don't think it would be very healthy when comparing it to the work a human would normally do.

I kept my eyes shut and rolled over, however, a tight grip on my shoulder and a stern grunt forced me to crack an eye open. I was being told to get up and find a weapon, but I responded by saying the goblins should go fuck themselves.

I also told them they stole my weapon from me a while ago and that seemed to make some flinch. A condescending recap of yesterday's failure topped it off too as some of the goblins were dejected enough to lower their heads, however, the recap made me realise one important factor in the goblin's work.

The trio of women that had slaughtered them yesterday were their goal. I couldn't _possibly_ imagine why, though, as I was too innocent to think of any kind of reason.

 _You know the goblins need women to reproduce. You should feel ashamed for what you did yesterday._

However, one goblin towards the back of the group held out a familiar, rusted dagger. He carelessly tossed it at me and to avoid being injured, I caught it in my hands and took in the sights of the accursed weapon that had ended the life of my mother as the rest of the goblins stared at me with intense gazes.

When I held it for the first time shortly after my birth, I thought it seemed large because I was just a newborn, however, it really was big. It had to be at least thirty centimetres in length, including the handle, and it was as long as my arm. That wasn't really saying much, though, when considering my scrawny yet somehow muscular physique. The blade itself had lost its silver shine long ago and was mostly rusted now, however, it was speckled with dots of grey that gave it an enchanting appearance. The handle was only made of leather, but that didn't mean it was of a low grade. In fact, it felt comfortable to hold and I could tell I wouldn't get blisters from extended periods of use.

I nod my head as I admired the blade, however, the other goblins took that as a sign of my willingness to follow them as grunts of approval echoed throughout the cave. I merely glanced at my confused siblings and then back at the group of goblins and sighed.

It appears as if I've dug myself a deep hole that I can't escape from.

 _Knowing what they're going to do now, I can tell you're going to have a lot of fun._

Who knows, maybe we're going to pillage a village instead and spare all its inhabitants instead of gang raping a few females. I mean, I have no idea what's going to happen next, you know?

 _You know it involves the standard goblin procedures. Stop pretending to be ignorant and face the truth behind your existence already._

I liked to think we weren't going to rape people, though, as I was sick of seeing these goblins be goblins.


	5. Raid (1)

My thigh was still in pain.

It was hard to walk, which gave me an excuse to hang around the back of the small group. There were still goblins behind me that were pushing me along, but my pace was significantly slower than the rest. I didn't regret pulling the muscle to free myself, but I do regret growing up quick enough to be included in such a raid. I was forced to walk, despite my lamentation, because I would probably die if I didn't.

There were a few grunts from up front as we quickly approached the scene of yesterday's conflict.

As we passed by the dismembered corpses of our kin, a grin spread across my face, a sense of satisfaction coming over me as I saw their wide eyes and surprised expressions. I made sure to kick the body of the goblin I had personally killed in cold blood as I passed by him. A few goblins shot me fierce looks, but I ignored them and spat on the corpse to make myself feel better.

Needless to say, I didn't regret killing him. He was a goblin and he was struggling with his sexual advances on a woman. That scum deserved to die. In fact, all the goblins here deserved to die. They are monsters, after all, and they have committed many crimes against humanity.

I reinforced my will to grow stronger as we exited the cave we lived in. The tunnel wasn't very long, maybe only one hundred meters with no branching paths, which was surprising. I would have thought the cave would be bigger with as many goblins as there was, but the main cave probably made up for that with its decently large size.

The first thing I did when I left the cave was look up into the sky, only to feel a sense of awe and loneliness.

Back on earth, there wasn't as many stars in the night sky due to light pollution. However, here, in this world that has cursed me to a monstrous existence, there were small dots blanketing the sky that were a range of colours. I could see the gases of space, the purple hues of the galaxy, and felt smaller than I ever have.

And then I noticed the two moons.

One was a giant, pale green that bathed the planet in its comforting glow, each crater and blemish on its surface visible to the naked eye, where the second moon was a smaller red that was a dwarf when compared to its sibling.

I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat as a sense of nostalgia began to overtake me, however, a quick slap on the back and a grunt was all I needed to snap out of my senses, lest the night sky steal my gaze for an eternity.

My dear sister, the only person I would die for, where ever you are and whatever you're doing now, I wish you could see this.

* * *

Beyond the cave was a large forest. The trees were monstrously tall and thick at the base and they were a moderately dark colour. The grass was long, and the leaves were a deep green, suggesting it rained often. Other than that, the land was flat and there was nothing else to note, other than the fact that the forest was silent.

Were there no nocturnal animals around, such as bats or owls, or were all the animals asleep? Although I was reincarnated into a different world, the geography and biology of the humans suggests that this world may not be too different from the planet I grew up on, goblins and presumably other monsters being the exception.

That was an interesting thought, though. If this world wasn't too different from my own, maybe a few of the things I know could be helpful, such as a basic knowledge in first aid that I had acquired while in high school.

I willingly attended the extracurricular course as I thought it would be handy to know, but I didn't think I'd ever need to use it, however, considering the circumstances I was in, I knew I'd need to use it sooner than later considering the monster I was born as.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to use my first aid skills on my kin. I have no intention in helping them with anything. In fact, if I wasn't forced into a situation where they mistook my nod as my intent to join their expedition, I'd still be sleeping, letting my leg heal.

Alas, some things are not meant to be.

However, while I'm at it, I may as well recall all the skills I believe would be useful to me or those I consider to be allies. And that isn't much, considering I never really had any skills other than my ability to manipulate words on paper. In fact, I only really knew how to straight punch and roundhouse kick when it came to battles and, other than my first aid skills, there was nothing else that was handy.

Sure, I may be able to craft simple things if given the materials, but I doubt I'd be able to make anything useful. I couldn't even think of anything off the top of my head I'd be able to make, anyway, so it's better to exclude my faith in my abilities.

Indeed, I was practically useless, however, that meant the only way forward was up. Whether it be to the heavens in my death or in the sense of my skills and growth, there was only one path I could see in front of me.

* * *

The leaders of the group decided to take a break. This was when I had discovered there was even a proper leader in this little tribe, but I didn't mind following their lead this one time as I needed to reduce the strain on my leg.

Permanently destroying the muscle wouldn't be fun, after all, as I needed it to walk and run properly. I'm guessing it was my hamstring that had stretched beyond its limits, however, I wasn't one hundred percent sure as I wasn't an expert in the field.

All I knew was that my thigh was in extreme pain because I did something that was physically stupid. Sure, I was rewarded with _some_ satisfaction as a reward, but that was it. I didn't grow stronger and I didn't get to achieve my goals.

Yes, my goals may be unclear now as I frequently jump between them, but that was natural. Although both paths led to the same ending, both were as dangerous as the other in their own way, which was the cause for my indecisiveness. As an example, if I was to slaughter all my kin, I would have to face the danger of retaliation and the injuries it brings with it. I may even die. If I run away, it's pretty much the same thing. With my injured leg, it wouldn't be too long before I was captured by my kin, assuming they cared enough to chase after me. If they didn't, I'd probably starve to death, shrivel up from dehydration or get eaten by a wild animal.

Neither options were looking spectacular.

All I could see was my inevitable death, however, this raid presented me with the opportunity to follow either paths. I could run away in the commotion, or I could assist the humans in ending the lives of my kin.

In a way, I was glad. Even if I did run away, even if I forsake my sense of justice and desire to save people, I had the opportunity to grow stronger and save even more. It wasn't worth risking death; however, I felt my heart twist on the inside.

I couldn't leave the people to meet their cruel end. I couldn't let the goblins shove their rusty daggers through the throats of the males before they ravaged the clothing of the females. I couldn't let the women scream and cry and beg for mercy as they're forced to endure the worst humiliation they would ever know.

In fact, they'd probably have to bear the goblin's children. Their numbers would most likely dwindle after such a confrontation and it would make sense to inflate the population of the tribe to secure its future, however, I couldn't allow that.

As a goblin – no, as a human in the form of a goblin – who craves to see the end of his own kind, to strike them with the justice that is not enforced, I must raise my weapon and fight on the bloody battlefields of hell.

After such deliberation, when the leaders considered forming a scouting party, I immediately encouraged the idea and was appointed the leader of a small squadron of three.

* * *

The forest became silent once more as I limped away from the group towards the stars on the horizon, the other two goblins reluctantly following behind me. I glanced up at the night sky occasionally, still captivated by its appearance, and slowly made my way through the trees.

I was hesitant to call this group of three a scouting party as it is clear we all know nothing about surveying and infiltration, however, we had to fulfil the role we were given. I volunteered for this position, too, but only because it would give me information that might be crucial for my survival.

The most important thing I needed to know was how many humans there was going to be at the village. I'm guessing there can't be too many if this small group of goblins is going to raid it, however, I could never be too sure. For all I know, these goblins could have a death wish between all of them.

Perhaps they prioritise the survival of their race over their own lives.

That was an unsettling thought to have, but it would explain their tendency to kidnap and rape women. In fact, it pretty much explained everything about them, as far as I know. They kidnap women to secure the future of their race and they also use them as food sources to stave off the hunger.

I'd know because I have firsthand experience.

However, this is all speculation. Who knows if it is correct? I may find the truth one day, but today is certainly not that day. Today _is_ a moment of truth, though, as it will measure my will to survive and my wits.

Certainly, this must be a test the gods have set up for me.

I could only nod in approval of their kindness, however, I also cursed them at the same time, simply because they were teasing me with my birth into an inhumane species.

A quiet grunt from behind snapped me out of my thoughts. A goblin quickly told me of the danger the wolves that apparently lived in this forest present, but I brushed him off without any worries. If wolves were going to attack us, they probably would have done it quite a while ago.

It has been several minutes, after all. Although that means we're far from the rest of our kin, that didn't necessarily mean we were far from the village. In fact, the more we progressed, the more I noticed the scent of cherry blossoms.

It was getting thicker, and it would only become a thick haze that would threaten to steal my mind.

 _Will you finally become a proper goblin?_

Those thoughts have been silent for quite a while now, but I suppose they haven't had a chance to surface because I've been doing actions that wouldn't threaten my sense of morality and humanity. I ignored those thoughts and clenched my free fist, my nails digging into my palm to provide the pain that would clear my mind.

I needed a clear mind to survive the inevitable encounter, after all.

However, a deep growl from the left forced a sigh out of my mouth. I turned to face it and, as I had quickly guessed, there was a wolf twice my size standing boldly in the moonlight, its fangs bared. The moons made its grey coat shine silver and its azure eyes sparkle, but I ignored the details of its beauty and told my companions to stay still.

I could tell they were frozen in fear, but that didn't matter to me.

As the wolf's growl deepened, I merely stared into its eyes and growled back. It took one step forward, however, I didn't relent. Although the encounter was making feel the greatest fear I had ever known, my knees trembling ever so slightly, I was very calm at the same time, almost as if I've been friends with this wolf for quite a long time. I attributed that to a potential racial trait, giving the goblins the benefit of my trust just this once.

I slowly reached my arm out to the wolf and as its growl became louder, I slowly pulled it back.

I immediately understood the situation.

It was a stalemate regarding the wolf and I, but it was targeting the other two who were shaking in their metaphorical boots. They were the weak link, and if I didn't give them up to appease the wolf's hunger, I'd die for nothing. I merely shrugged and stepped to the side, making sure to maintain eye contact with the wolf, until it pounced on one goblin and began to tear its throat out.

I merely watched with narrowed eyes as blood flew, the dying goblin's chokes becoming music to my ears while the screeching of the other quickly ruined my mood. I immediately told him to shut up and he did so, obviously trusting me to get him through the life-threatening encounter.

It seems as if my earlier theory regarding the goblins and their underlying desire to prioritise the survival of their own race had been made somewhat moot by this goblin, but I believed it could still be valid. This goblin may be an outlier, after all, in the same sense I was. That didn't mean I was going to spare him, though; in fact, it only made my desire to end him grow stronger as I wanted to maintain the monstrous image these goblins had built.

I slowly backed away from the wolf, in the direction of the village, and felt the corners of my lips curl up as the dying goblin was being thrown about like a ragdoll, his death throes falling upon blind eyes and deaf ears.

At the sight of the wolf and its mortal enemy the goblin, I thought of an ingenious plan that was rather simple. Once I had scouted out the village and after the wolf had finished its meal, I would head back to the group and lead them through the path I had tread, straight into the jaws of the wolf. However, at the moment, there was a big, scary wolf that would chase me if I didn't hurry.

A sinister chuckle escaped my throat as I turned around and walked off, the squelching of flesh and blood in the wolf's mouth reminding me of the way I had been force fed not too long ago.

I desperately hope these goblins meet a tragic end in the peaceful village.

* * *

 **To everyone that is asking if our dear goblin meets Goblin Slayer, that is a secret.**

 **Happy Halloween!**


	6. Raid (2)

When I was child, I wanted nothing more than to be a hero.

Sure, it was a childish and somewhat cliché dream to have, but it was fun to believe I could save people with my own strength. Their smiles and words of appreciation would be all I need to continue my line of work.

I wouldn't kill my enemies, but I wouldn't let them live freely, either.

I would reform them to create a member of society that was no longer considered to be evil. Villains aren't necessarily bad, after all, as they do the things they do for a reason. In my childish dreams, it was always because of loss, but it may as well be something different.

Revenge, avenge, sorrow, loss of hope…all of these are what makes a villain a villain and I could see that, even as a young child. Evil people weren't evil, they were sorely misunderstood and made out to be evil.

Therefore, to protect these people, I would become the strongest hero to save them. My little sister encouraged this dream as she thought it was cool, simply because it was different from the mainstream hero of the time that defeats all evil without a second thought.

Those heroes didn't understand the pain the villains were enduring, after all, nor did they give a damn. That was why they were detestable, but they were only doing their job. The city, the people, were counting on them, so they didn't have the time to care about the villains.

Most of those mainstream heroes only saw the evil inside the hearts of those villains, not the suffering or the anxiety or sorrow or regret.

I couldn't help but draw a comparison to my current situation. It was ironic, after all, that I had unwillingly become the villain that no one wanted to understand. The goblins raped women to reproduce, that much was true, and they murdered and pillaged without discrimination.

These beings weren't villains that needed to be understood because their motives were as clear as day.

They simply did what they did to survive, just like any other animal, but they had to do it in horrible ways.

That didn't mean they deserved mercy, though.

No, these goblins mustn't ever be understood because of the crimes they'll willingly commit with glee. To stop them, a hero must rise, however, it would be too hypocritical for me to become the hero of my dreams.

I couldn't understand these goblins, despite being one myself, and that was probably for the better. A lack of understanding meant I'd be able to slay them without any worries. I could become a hero, but not one that is kind and gentle to all.

I must become a hero that slaughters the villains with a grin on my face, however, I wasn't sure I'd be able to fulfil that roll. I'm not strong enough and I'm not any better at fighting than the average person.

…I was weak.

No…I was indecisive and showed cowardice in crucial moments, and that's why I'm reluctant to become a hero. I don't want to do anything dangerous, after all, as I want to use my life as effectively as possible. Protecting a village with nothing to gain and then dying would not be worth it as I wouldn't be able to save others, so is fighting the right thing to do?

To preserve my life, it is not.

To become a hero, it is.

I must decide between the two options; however, I was unable to do so.

I was caught between wanting to see the face of my sister once more, even if I was a horrendous monster in another world and wanting to be the hero these people in the village deserved.

Despite my previous bravado and rage and intent to kill, I was now unable to decide because I was afraid of my own weakness.

It was pathetic, but it was the only action I could take while struggling to survive in a dark world.

* * *

I was watching the village from the edge of the forest. It was separated by a wide plain that had grass that went to my waist, meaning it was dangerous to tread any closer. My companion was hiding behind a tree under my orders.

From what I could see, and from what darkness the moon had banished, there were maybe ten rectangular houses that formed an even larger square or rectangle. I couldn't see much more, other than a large field of wheat to the left of the houses and a few barns standing tall beyond that, but I wasn't satisfied with what I could see.

If I was to survive, I needed to know everything I could, lest I slip up and make a mistake due to some misinformation. Having made up my mind, I told my companion to stay put and ventured out into the plain, crouching low to make sure I was less visible.

I doubt anyone would be out this late, but it couldn't hurt to take precautions. In fact, when I think about it, it would be better if I was spotted as that would give the village some time to wake up and prepare for an encounter.

I quickly straightened my back and approached the village, crossing the plain rather quickly.

It had to be around one hundred, maybe one hundred and fifty meters, to the village, but it was a considerably long distance for my short legs. My thigh was still in pain, making it hard to walk quickly, but I grit my teeth and endured.

There was nothing else to do, after all. The pain was constantly taking my mind off the thick musk of cherry blossoms, so in a way, I was grateful. If I wasn't injured, I fear I would have already lost myself to my senses and gone wild.

And I didn't want that.

To grasp victory in my hand, to leave the darkness and face the light that would not accept me, I needed to retain my humanity. I needed to stay true to my human self and not let the goblin inside of me break out of its chains and run wild.

I resisted the urge to breathe through my nostrils and approached the nearest house, ducking into the small shadow it created. I quickly peered around a corner, sighting a well in a small clearing, and slid out of cover, approaching an ajar window on a different building.

It was too high up for me to peer through, but I didn't hesitate and lightly jumped up, grasping the windowsill with one hand as I was still holding my dagger in the other.

I gently dropped the blade, wincing as it clanked on impact with the dirt path, and used my now free hand to pull my eyes up to level with the windowsill.

I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat, not because I had seen a horrible sight, but because of the ball of dread that had suddenly formed in my stomach.

Sleeping as soundly as one can be was a young girl around the age of eleven. She was curled up into a ball and she was clutching her sheets close to her body, however, her gentle, almost happy, expression, betrayed all signs of fear or anxiety.

I lowered myself to the ground and retrieved my blade, my stomach twisting as I already knew the fate of that young girl.

As she was of a ripe age to the goblins, she would become their sow. They would drag her back to their den after slaughtering her parents in front of her, after defiling her friends in front of her, and they would tear the clothing off her body all the while she's screaming and crying and begging for mercy.

And then they would become more aroused by her fear, by her screams, and take turns in having their way with her. They would defile her and desecrate her over and over and starve her and tie her up and break her mind and humiliate her until she loses all sight of her humanity.

And if I was there, I would enjoy it as much as they would.

I released a shaky breath as I held a hand to my head.

This was not good.

I needed to leave the village immediately, lest I lose sight of who am I and what I must avoid becoming.

To avoid losing my humanity, I needed to isolate myself from the future conflict at all costs, yet at the same time, I needed to protect this young girl and everyone else that is at risk.

In a hoarse voice I have never used in my new life, I quietly cursed as I grit my teeth, my unsteady legs robotically carrying me back towards the field, back towards the forest where I truly belong.

* * *

The wolf was long gone, along with the corpse of the goblin it had killed. It might not return, so I cannot count on it to assist me. All I have is my own strength and ideals to get me through the raid. Unlike the others, I have my wits about me and understand how things work.

If I don't lose my mind in the middle of the fight, I should be fine.

 _Are you already preparing for the ultimate loss of your sanity?_

I know full well that I should ignore this voice in my head, but I can't help it. I was feeling anxious and it was messing with me; my hands were shaking, I was glancing around the place and I was walking on unsteady feet.

A grunt brought me to my senses. It seems as if I'd reached the group faster than I had realised. Was it because I was lost in my thoughts, dreading what was going to come? Was I even afraid in the first place? Yes, I am feeling anxious, but that may be my survival instinct kicking in.

Yes…all I wanted was to live.

All I wanted was to see the sun and feel its warmth, so it really was my survival instinct kicking in.

I reported my findings to the leader with extreme apathy and watched as the goblins rallied upon hearing the information I had gathered, their shrill laughs and perverted grins matching their waggling tongues. In a sense, they were like dogs, which made sense considering they were practically bipedal animals.

I had to release a shaky breath to stop myself from sighing.

I knew it was in their nature to do such a thing, but I felt disgusted every time I was reminded of their purpose in life. It was disappointing, really, that I was born as the same being as them.

Is disappointment the right word?

To me, it doesn't feel like the right word, but I couldn't accurately describe the feeling that was eating away at my heart. Considering I was a fan of the reincarnation stories in my world where the main protagonist is overpowered and has a harem of beautiful women at his service, I may as well describe it as disappointment.

That justification still doesn't seem to fit, though. Is it anger? Fear? Perhaps its jealousy towards the goblins for being mindless fools that don't have a shred of human decency or morality attached to them. I was a virgin in my old life, after all, so it makes sense to be jealous.

At the same time, I didn't want to become one of them, so can it be jealousy?

A sharp grunt and a hand on the shoulder forced my gaze off the leafy floor and into a goblin's eyes.

He's expecting great things from me because I'm apparently a great warrior to most of the goblins.

I couldn't help but awkwardly laugh at that statement.

I mean, me? A warrior? I thought a warrior was a noble fighter that upholds a strict moral code. In my eyes, a warrior doesn't attack unarmed people and they certainly didn't rape anyone, so a warrior to these goblins must mean something else.

It was probably brute strength and a lack of hesitation that made a goblin a warrior.

I asked him if he cared about me killing his family in cold blood, but he laughed that comment off and said it was alright.

I asked why.

He simply said it was the right of the strong to do whatever they want.

I felt a strong sense of aversion and severe nausea as I struggled to stay upright, my world slowly spinning.

I was confused and reluctant to accept his words, but deep down, I felt joy at being praised by those I was supposed to hate.

* * *

In the darkness, they rushed towards the village as I followed behind them.

They didn't have a plan, only a rough idea of what they wanted to achieve, but because they were small and scrawny, they had the advantage of stealth until they entered the village as they didn't trample the grass.

And I was hesitating because I knew I still had a chance to run away.

Before I commit myself to a life of revenge and regret, I can suppress the memories of what I have been through and live the life of a wanderer who explores the land in search of knowledge. I can live a happy life where I'm ignorant of the darkness in the world, a life where I do not know of the horrors these monsters willingly commit.

The depressing thing was that I wanted to live such a life.

As they reached the first house and rushed around it towards the front door, I slowly came to a stop.

I stared up at the moon, feeling its gaze on my skin, and could feel the wind pushing at my back. It swept past me and carried my sorrow through its breeze as the first scream was heard, the tonality failing to reach me as I tightened the grip on my dagger.

Little sister, even though I am no longer your brother, what is it you want me to do? You always said I would make a great hero, but I am not fit for such a role. I am a worthless civilian without an ounce of strength to their name, yet I am a villain in a physical sense.

Do you want me to save the people or forsake them and let their lives end in the worst way possible?

…

A small smile slipped onto my face as I nod at the moon.

Although this act was due to a moment of indecision and humane insanity, it helped to clear my mind. It helped to reaffirm my purpose and my will. It helped to prepare me for my suffering and pain and it helped to prepare me for the revenge the darkness I have forsaken will deliver.

It will help me face the light and darkness as neither will welcome me.

I raised my blade, my arm poised like a snake that was ready to strike and swore one thing upon my humanity.

Even if it cost me my life, I _will_ end the lives of all these goblins.

A feminine scream finally reached my ears and, pushing onwards through the pain I felt in my heart, I rushed towards it.


	7. Raid (3)

As I came closer to the village, the only thing I could do was slowly come to a stop.

What I was seeing was shocking, but I expected nothing less from the goblins. In fact, a deep part of me was proud of their work, but I quickly supressed that part of me as I grimaced. I couldn't let myself be controlled by that twisted side of me. Not now, at least.

I don't know how they had done it, but in the span of two or three minutes, they had already slaughtered several people; there were bodies, predominately male, littering the roads with blood scattered around them and a few were already getting to work on the women. A few buildings had been set alight, too, contributing to the harsh atmosphere of the raid.

And I had to stop for a moment and think. I used to be a human, just like those that are dead, so I needed to think about their fate. I mean, all these people that are dead, all the people that will soon be dead…they all have dreams they want to see come to life, they all have families and friends and they all lived a happy life and these goblins, these monsters, had ruined them.

And for what?

For what honest purpose did they do such a thing?

I understood they needed to reproduce, but they didn't need to slaughter the masses for a handful of women that would die upon the dawn of their expiration date. I didn't agree with their methods, yet I could only watch as they overpowered the women and destroyed the men.

It wasn't right, yet it was…necessary.

For these goblins, the only thing they have known is cruelty. I guess that's why they do these things to people, but I was unable to sympathise with them.

Anyone that is willing to rape and pillage without a guilty conscience does not deserve the right to live.

For the sake of those who are deceased, for the sake of the women who are screaming out in their hearts for help, for the young men that had dreams and lovers, for the children that are forced to watch their parents die as they protect them with their last breath…

For every single one of these people, I mustn't show a single shred of decency or mercy as I slaughter my own kind.

They don't deserve any better, after all.

* * *

With no hope left and a heart made of rage, the first person I needed to help was the young girl I had spied during my scouting. She was the person who was at the most risk as she was the perfect sow. It wouldn't surprise me if it was too late to save her.

Because it's a known fact that goblins have a keen sense of smell for fertile women, they knew there was an ideal candidate for a breeding program somewhere in the village. Assuming they're able to tell the difference between similar scents, they knew where the girl was.

With this in mind, I dashed over to her house, past the other goblins and victims, and froze in the street.

Her front door was wide open, and it was inviting me inside.

Seeing such a sight, there was probably nothing left I could do for her now as her house had clearly been assaulted, but it wouldn't hurt to check. The only thing that would die would be my sanity if my fears were the harsh reality, but at this point, that didn't really matter. All I'd need to do to make me feel better was swing my blade around with my regrets constantly lending me their strength.

In the end, if everything came crashing down, I'd want to laugh and smile as my fallen enemies would signify my satisfaction and glee but…to fall into despair so easily is the trait of a coward and, when I'm aiming to become the one that has forsaken the darkness in favour of the virtuous light, I mustn't encourage such a vulnerability.

I inhaled sharply as I reached the doorway and stopped to glance around the interior in case there were dangers lying in wait. When there appeared to be nothing in the immediate vicinity, other than scattered furniture and splintered wood, I stepped inside and turned to the right to begin my search for the girl.

However, such a simple journey was not supposed to be.

Lying in a large puddle of crimson, their throat drenched by the same liquid, was a man with a face full of facial hair. He was the girl's father, no doubt about that, which meant my greatest fear was the harsh reality.

The goblins had already reached her.

I offered the deceased man a short moment of silence before I proceeded past his body towards the only open door in the house. From within, there was muffled screaming and crying and a series of grunts and groans.

My grip on my dagger tightened as I grimaced.

I knew the fate of this young girl and how it was too late to spare her from her fate.

In that room I did not dare to walk into, I knew she was being raped and defiled by the filthy goblin I begrudgingly share my lineage with. I knew there was an enemy I needed to slaughter, but I could not deliver myself the strength I need to strike out at them.

Why? I had already made up my mind that I'd go insane if this was the case, yet I felt my heart sink and pull me towards the ground as tears unwillingly gathered in the corners of my eyes.

 _Why_? The girl didn't deserve the hand she had been dealt, yet it was her fate to suffer through a session of sexual torture.

There was nothing I could do to change fate for I was not powerful enough, but that doesn't mean I can't prematurely end it. I can sever the invisible string at its centre, but that's all I would be able to do.

I cannot change the thread and I cannot mend it, yet I can cut it apart like a brute.

That's pathetic.

 _I'm_ pathetic.

The only reason this young girl is being raped right now is because I was too indecisive. In the field where I could feel the presence of my sister pushing my back by taking the form of the wind, in the field where the great moon was bathing me in its light and stealing my gaze, I was an indecisive coward that only wanted to protect himself.

If I wasn't willing to hesitate because of the dangers I knew were in front of me, this wouldn't have happened. None of this would have happened.

In the bright future I want to create, everyone in this village should be alive, living happy lives until the end of their days. This girl I wanted to protect would find a man that was charismatic and handsome, and she would marry him. The girl's father would approve of her marriage and give the man his blessings and he would meet a peaceful end and would be buried at this village he loved so much. The girl and her husband would settle down somewhere and start a happy family and watch as their kids grew up. Eventually, they'd peacefully die in their sleep together, laying next to each other, and they would be content with their experiences.

But that future wasn't meant to be.

Now the girl's father is dead, having choked to death on his own blood, and the girl is feeling each thrust the goblin was making as he feels the greatest pleasure he would ever know. She would be impregnated with his seed and would be dragged back to the cave and would live out the rest of her days an animal that is no good for anything but breeding until the goblins are no longer sexually satisfied by her body.

A tear rolled down my cheek as there was a brief groan from within the room.

It appears as if the girl had stopped crying and screaming as she had come to accept her fate. The cause…it was probably the goblin spraying his seed into her. Although it would be physically arousing for her, she is unable to mentally handle it because it is a foreign concept to her.

Feeling a strange, arousing pleasure because a goblin had intruded and stolen your chastity…what kind of joke is that!? She doesn't deserve this, no one deserves anything these goblins do to them, so why!? Why are the gods cruel enough to forsake these innocent people!?

Do they not care!? Do they not have hearts!? Do they willingly let these things happen!?

Are they even real!?

My face became wet as I held back the urge to sob.

People were dying all around me, yet I wanted to sit down and cry my heart out. What kind of pathetic being am I? I'd resolved myself to slaughter my kin before any of this could happen, yet they were already two steps ahead of me.

I've been ignoring the screams of the people all this time because I was unwilling to accept the reality I had created through my indecision and weakness and there was nothing I could do to change it.

I released a shaky breath.

I was a broken mess and there was nothing I could do to change it, but I needed to act before it was too late. There may be a ray of hope left for me, or there may only be despair remaining.

Whatever it is that awaits my arrival, I must greet it with my head held high and my blade covered in the blood of my enemies.

I felt my eyes sharpen and, with a burning pain in my chest, I charged into the room with my blade raised.

As soon as I had seen the goblin and the suffering child, I rushed them before the goblin could react and roared as my blade easily pierced his skull.

He went limp in an instant and fell back onto the bed they were on as blood began to spray everywhere. It covered the entirety of my face and most of the bed, but I didn't care.

I turned to the girl with teary eyes, stared straight at her and said the only word I knew of their language in a strained, hoarse voice.

"Help."

The girl was unresponsive. She did not move or make a sound, but the slow, almost robotic, rise and fall of her chest told me everything I needed to know.

But I couldn't accept the harsh reality. That was why I had wandered to her side and had fallen to my knees, tears freely streaming down my face as I held her hand with my own. That was why I stared into her glazed eyes and sobbed.

"Help."

I would endlessly repeat that word as she refused to respond, and I would chant it louder, hoping for any sound or movement in response.

Although she wasn't dead, she was suffering an existence worse than death.

Endless suffering, endless torment…from now on, with each night she sleeps through, she will have nightmares of this experience and will awake with tears in her eyes. She will never know what its like to feel safe again, nor will she know what its like to be happy.

Every moment will be painful for her as she struggles to cope with what has been done to her and what will be done to her, and she would wish for someone to end her life.

She will want to die because she is living the worst possible life one could ever know.

And I can prevent that. I have a weapon that can end someone's life. It's lying on the floor next to me and is calling out to me, its silver shine glowing in the moonlight. It wanted me to kill. It wanted me to not only end the life of this girl, but of the other suffering humans.

I grabbed my blade with a shaky breath and raised it into the air.

I easily slid it into the girl's throat and watched as she furrowed her brows.

After a short moment of pain, all her face muscles relaxed, and she was gone.

This young girl was gone forever.

I had made sure of that, lest she live a life full of suffering.

I stepped away from her bed, from her corpse and the body of the monster I had killed, and turned away with grit teeth, more tears gathering in my eyes.

All I could do now was kill.


	8. Rip And Tear (1)

When I had managed to leave the building, the scent of cherry blossoms was non-existent. Was it the smoke that was covering it up or was it the result of a scenario much worse than that? Although I didn't want to think the worst possible outcome had come to be, a small part of me was constantly reminding me of the monsters I was dealing with. Because of this, I had no reason to think otherwise.

Indeed, the worst possible outcome had come to be and there was nothing I could do to change it. At this point, I realized for the umpteenth time that I wasn't strong enough to change fate, yet I also realised that strength had no part in deciding the future.

If I had tried to disrupt the goblins in any way, shape or form, this future may not have come to be. It might have happened in a partial sense, but it wouldn't have been as bad. The village would not have been set fire and the majority would have avoided their destined death.

This topic was simply food for thought, though, and was a distraction that was designed to take my mind off the bodies that littered the floor, but I couldn't help but feel a certain sense of truthfulness in its ambiguity.

In a way, it _was_ the brutally honest truth, but that should not mean I base my entire existence off a single concept that contradicts others. Humans do like to believe they have free will, after all, so is it not better to wallow in despair and believe I can do better?

Such dark yet motivational thoughts would only serve as a reminder of my weakness and would assist in my quest for power, so is it not better to embrace the despair and sorrow and use it as the fuel for my rage?

I _have_ decided to slaughter my kin before the sun rises upon dealing with the first goblin and its young victim, so that seems to be the best course possible. What else could I possibly do to cope? Running away with my tail between my legs would only force self-pity upon myself and most people know it is a pathetic power to remind oneself of their greatest moments of cowardice.

Therefore, upon the anguished souls of the deceased, I swear to end the lives of my kin without a single shred of decency or mercy, simply because they deserve the pain and despair as a reward for everything they've ever done.

* * *

The first goblin I had come across was on a road that was obscured by houses. I had simply looped around the buildings to ascertain there was no one around, and there really wasn't, excluding the lone goblin.

What he was doing was strange, though. Instead of partaking in goblin communion, he was crouched over the body of an older female whose neck was spurting blood everywhere. She was not moving, and a quick observation of the goblin's face revealed a disgusted scowl. For what reason was he scowling? It surely could not have been the obvious result of the murder he had committed, so is there something beyond what I know?

Either way, I didn't care too much about him as I approached him. As I neared him, he merely glanced up at me before he sprung to his feet and kicked the woman in the side. He continued to do so, grunting foreign obscenities under his breath, until I placed a hand on his shoulder, forcing him to stop.

He glared at me, so I offered him a false mask of empathetic agreement to whatever it was he was doing.

In that moment, I had run my blade across his throat and watched as the blood spray out of it like a fountain. The cut was deep, allowing large quantities of blood to flow freely, and, due to the shock of being attacked by his own kind, the goblin fell to the floor while gripping his throat with both hands.

He stared up at me, tears in his eyes, and attempted to speak his final words, but the only sound that escaped him was a series of chokes that signalled his undeniable end. I turned away from him, leaving him to die a slow, painful death, and went on to search for my next prey.

It didn't take me too long to find them.

They were out front a building that had collapsed under its blazing inferno and were in the process of assaulting a teenage girl. Her soul had been lost long ago under the pressure of humility, fear and disbelief, so she was merely a husk of a human that had no desire to live. I felt somewhat apologetic but welcomed the apathy such a scene was offering.

I'm afraid I've been desensitised to these sorts of scenes, so apathy was all I would be feeling when confronting such sights, but such a strong feeling of nothingness was the guide that allowed me to plunge my blade between the ribs of the goblin that was facing away from me.

With a shriek, he had quickly pulled out, despite being on the verge of climaxing, and the second goblin, who was utilising the mouth of the girl, seemed to not care as much simply because I was a goblin.

I dodged a clumsy fist from the first goblin by stepping back and held my blade out in front of me, watching as the goblin practically stepped into it. His expression twisted as he stopped moving and, after a second of meeting his scornful eyes with my own, I pulled the blade from his chest.

He stumbled back a few steps, grasping the area around the hole that had been made in his chest, and fell back onto the girl. There was no sound from her, nor was there any from the goblin. That must mean I had pierced his heart, which was quite surprising.

Despite having done it once in my previous life, I didn't think I had enough experience to replicate the strike in my new one.

Regardless of such trivial observations, the second goblin had stopped his sexual advances and had grabbed a wooden club off the ground. He quickly charged at me, using the girl's body as a stepping stone, and had leapt towards me at the height of his movement, however, a simple step to the side was all it took to dodge the careless attack.

I had seen it coming from afar, so the surprise the goblin had on his face as I shoved my blade through his throat was unwarranted. He was an idiot for using an attack that had such a long wind up, despite the action being made in less than three seconds, so he shouldn't be surprised at all.

As he fell to the side, my blade still in his throat, a shriek from down the road made me aware of the presence of three more goblins.

If they were the last ones in the village, the others presumably on their way back to the cave with their prizes in hand, it should be quite the simple task to eradicate them. Although a three versus one scenario was quite unfavourable, these goblins were brutes that did not know of proper ways to fight. After all, their attacks were slow and clumsy, so it wouldn't be a surprise if I completely dominated the trio.

By the time I had retrieved my dagger from its fleshy sheath, the trio of goblins had already come close enough for me to raise my guard. With my dagger pointed forward, my elbow close to my body, I awaited our collision with narrowed eyes.

I dodged the charge of the middle goblin and had to quickly duck under a swipe that was a follow-up by the goblin on the left. The goblin on the right slashed down at me, and it was all I could do to hold my blade up to deflect his strike.

Somehow, whether it was through sheer luck or skill, the tip of the goblin's dagger had snapped upon contact with my own, however, it was not without a price. My own blade chipped, becoming weaker than it should be, proving to be an unreliable weapon.

Nevertheless, in the goblin's surprise of having lost the most important part of his old blade, I lunged forward and slashed him across the chest, sending him reeling back. As I could hear the other two goblins behind me, I quickly leapt forward into the goblin in front of me, knocking him to the ground, and spun around to meet the other two.

I had narrowly dodged a slash to the neck by stepping back but suffered a shallow cut on my left arm in return. I winced, suppressing the sharp pain, and stepped back once more to gather my bearings.

As I prepared to step back once more, the goblin I had knocked over had wrapped both of his arms around one of my legs. I clicked my tongue, glancing down at him with the greatest scorn my gaze could support, and quickly used my other foot to crush his face.

His grip loosened, however, my struggle was for naught.

In that instant, one blade had pierced my stomach while the other had pierced my chest. I managed to stumble back a few steps out of the grip of the goblin, however, my efforts proved to be fruitless as I promptly fell onto my back with a loud thud.

The pain was overwhelming; however, I knew both wounds were not fatal as neither blades had pierced any important organs. That is what I was able to feel, anyway, having experienced what it is like to have a blade through the heart.

But what do I know when it comes to such a scenario? I am not a doctor, so my words should be taken with a grain of salt. If I cannot move because the pain is overbearing, the two blades must have hit a sore spot, and that would be the end of me.

That is the undeniable future I can see in front of me, yet I could not accept such negative thoughts. I had reincarnated into such a dark world, after all, so there must be a reason for my existence as a goblin.

Perhaps its to exterminate the goblins, or maybe its to play the role of the saviour for those who have been abused by the goblins. Regardless, I haven't been reborn for no purpose, so I can't die here. Not now, at least.

I want to see the face of my sister once more, anyway, even if she will resent me, for she is the cause of my heroic death. Do I resent her? No, but I want to see her once more to talk to her, even if it's for just a moment. I want to know how she's doing, if she's found a nice boyfriend, if mom and dad are okay and, most importantly, if she resents me for dying in front of her, even if it was my own choice.

The shining stars in the sky and the two moons forced an unwelcome feeling of loneliness into my heart as I began to reminisce my childhood, fully aware that I was dying without any way to save myself. The pain had quickly becoming overwhelming to the point where I could not move and the taste of blood in my mouth was present. On top of that, my body was beginning to feel cold. Am I going to die soon?

In fact, I'm surprised I haven't died yet. One would think the goblins would have the decency to finish me off, especially after I had killed and injured some of their brethren, but it appears to be otherwise.

What are they doing now? The subtle relaxation a sudden sense of serenity had forced upon me made me reluctant to open my ears or lift my head, but I ignored my dying body to satiate my curiosity.

My head dropped to the floor as the beginnings of a dry chuckle began to form in my throat. The only thing that escaped my lips was the blood I began to cough up as I recognised the tell-tale signs of sexual assault through my quickly blurring vision.

Did I expect anything less from these goblins? No, I did not.

Was that why my sense of rage was slowly fading away into the void known as death? Perhaps.

Here, in this village, I would calmly accept my death once more while realising the events leading up to it were the results of my own foolishness.

But…one part of me could not accept the hand fate had has dealt. I mean, why should _I_ die? I've already died once and know what it's like to be cold and afraid, so can't it be someone else for once? I don't care if its these goblins or the people I was supposed to save.

 _I just want to live_.

I'm sick and tired of dealing with all this shit I'm being forced to go through because a higher power is incompetent and fucked up in the head.

I don't deserve any of this.

I don't deserve to be a goblin.

I don't deserve to be tormented.

I don't deserve the horrors I've endured.

 _I don't deserve to die._

I planted both hands on the ground to support my body as I forced all my remaining strength into my arms.

A hot sensation began to burn in my chest, an unknown fury contorting my face beyond what I thought was possible.

I lifted myself into a seated position, my breath heavy and raspy, before I slowly pushed myself to my feet.

My blade was on the ground beside me, but that did not matter.

You do not need blades to kill people.

You were born with fists for a reason.

The wind of the world was pushing me forward as one thought repeated through my head, both of my hands tightly wrapped around a different dagger.

 _Kill._

A deep, piercing roar of pure fury echoed throughout the surrounding lands as two bloodied blades left my body.


	9. Rip And Tear (2)

My body was trembling as I released slow, shaky breaths that were akin to those of a blood starved beast. The trio of goblins stopped and looked in my direction and were visibly surprised by me standing on my own two feet.

It shouldn't be surprising, but for them it is. Is it because they had thought I was dead? I have two legs and two feet to stand on, so even though I was close to being dead, there's no reason to be shocked when observing a foe using their limbs for their designed purpose.

That was the end of that train of thought, anyway. I had more important things to deal with.

I tossed the two blades to the side as I recognised the sensation of a warm liquid pouring out of two holes on my body. I didn't care and charged the goblins instead, my hands outstretched as if I was a zombie.

I pounced on the first goblin, sending the both of us to the ground. He struggled and flailed about in the air and on the floor, making it hard to pin him to the ground, but I didn't really care. I still sent a fist towards his face, crouching over him.

His body went limp, so I jumped to my feet, wanting to find my next prey.

I was immediately tackled to the ground by the other two goblins, however, I was able to tear my arms out of their grips before they could pin them to the ground by twisting the limbs ever so slightly. Following this, I grabbed both goblins by the crowns of their head and bashed their skulls together, the two toppling sideways.

I quickly rose to my feet, one of the three goblins slowly copying me, the other two appearing to be unconscious or dazed. I disregarded the rising goblin's determination to fight and rushed him before he could gather his bearings, sweeping his feet out from underneath him with a roundhouse kick.

His head hit the ground first, however, he still seemed to be conscious as he groaned upon realising what had happened to him. I waltzed over to him and planted a foot on his ribcage, my hands wrapping around his left arm.

And then I began to pull as hard as I could, the goblin screaming as a loud pop indicated the appendage's dislocation. As he screamed for mercy, begging me to stop, I mustered more strength in my arms and pulled harder, my teeth now grit as I was determined to finish what I had started.

Not long after, as the screaming grew louder and more desperate, the tearing of flesh became known to me as I could feel my cheeks become warm. The blood began to seep out of the growing wound and, as the goblin tried to wriggle out from underneath me, his face a wet mess of tears and mucous, I stumbled backwards after giving his arm a good twist.

I glanced down at the goblin, the arm still in my hands, and let a devilish grin spread across my face.

You deserve every ounce of pain you receive, I told him as I snapped the bones in his arms over a knee.

He merely screamed and writhed in response, blood quickly pooling beneath him.

A closer inspection of his wound revealed his scapula, meaning I had done quite the splendid job.

I turned away from the goblin and waltzed over to my next enemy, his eyes staring up at me without a hint of life in them. I raised the arm over my head and brought it down on the goblin's face, a cacophony of fracturing bones almost drowning out the screams of the armless goblin.

However, as I raised the arm above my head once more, a groan reached my ears.

It seems as if the dazed goblin wanted a piece of the action himself.

I placed one foot on his neck and applied as much pressure as I could, his windpipe resisting for half a second before it collapsed under the pressure.

I took one step back and watched the goblin writhe around on the ground, his eyes wide as a raspy, hollow wheezing escaped him.

He clearly wanted to scream but couldn't, which was probably a godsend. I wouldn't be able to deal with two screaming goblins, let alone three.

Talking about screaming goblins, the only one who was currently screaming has suddenly stopped. I glanced at him from over my shoulder and confirmed he was lying in a very large puddle of his own blood before I resumed my work on the unconscious goblin.

His nose was bleeding, but his face wasn't horrible enough for me to be satisfied.

I grabbed a club off the ground and took a position over the goblin's chest, my legs spread wide as I held the weapon high above my head.

I brought it down as hard as I could, all the bones shattering into even smaller pieces in an instant.

I raised the club above my head once more and struck once more, fragments of bone flying through the air.

On the third strike, there was some blood.

On the fourth, there was a few teeth.

On the fifth, there was the explosion of his brain.

On the sixth, the only thing that remained was a bloodied, fleshy clump that was unrecognisable.

I threw the club to the ground and spat on the goblin's corpse, my phlegm a solid shade of crimson.

I walked over to where my chipped dagger was and swiped it off the ground, along with one of the blades I had pulled out of me.

I head off towards the cave where I would meet my destiny, my control over my mind slipping ever further away, almost as if I was losing my sense of self that defined who I am.

It was almost as if the goblin inside of me had come out to play.

* * *

The sounds of lively moans and choked screaming reached my ears as I stood at the entrance.

With a dagger in each hand, I was ready to exact my revenge upon the goblins that had stolen everything from me. They had taken my sanity, the morals I am still trying to keep and, most importantly, my humanity.

While engaging in lustful activities, the grim reaper shall swing his scythe towards their necks and force upon them eternal rest.

With a deep breath, I stepped into the cave, my humanity, my morals and my sanity a foreign object of a human past I could not be bothered to remember. All I wanted was to see blood, after all, so it's not surprising to know I have abandoned all shreds of decency to grant my own wish.

However, does a goblin need decency to survive? They sure as hell don't, so what the fuck am I doing trying to be human? Goblins were never designed to be human in the first place, so I may as well embrace the violent side of my species.

As I met the wide opening that was my home, the sights of ecstatic thrusting and seminal fluids spraying about was an unwelcome sight.

Who do these rats think they are, coming into my home and dirtying it with their trashy women? They all had one sow each and each sow was currently a living corpse, so how were they taking any satisfaction in what they were doing? Impregnating a corpse is not a joyous activity, so why don't they go find more women to satiate their ever-present lust?

A prime example would be the girl I had regretfully killed.

No matter. There is no point in offering these rats my advice if they are only animals to be toyed with, so I must purge those thoughts from my mind.

I silently slid my blade across the throat of a rat from behind and watched as he continued to wildly thrust while clawing at his own bleeding throat.

He is like a dog during heat, being unable to stop himself from raping a girl while physically dying. Therefore, to assist him in his quest to meet the demons of hell, I plunged both of my daggers through the back of his chest.

They were poking out of his front like some twisted beacon of pain and death.

To make things even better for him, he easily slid off my blades as his blood was an active lubricant.

I moved onto my second target and offered him a different treatment.

Instead of assassinating him, I stood over the face of the girl he was staring at so endearingly. I sliced his stomach open and watched as his intestines spilled out over his woman. He screamed and desperately grabbed at his intestines, shoving them back into his stomach, however they proved to be useless as they poured back out when he moved his hands away.

Suddenly, all the rats stopped what they were doing, but I didn't mind.

They were coming towards me, meaning it would be easier to rid my home of disease.

What about the blood, though? It is merely a decoration and should be likened to modern art.

With that thought, a rat shoved his claw into my body, but I shrugged his attack off with fierce eyes and plunged my blade through his chin and into his skull.

I used the other one to pierce his chest and planted a foot against him to push him off my blades, his body limp.

A second rat carved my side up as if I was a ham during Christmas, but a quick poke through the eye made him fall quicker than a brick.

A third rat struck my knee with his blunt claw, shattering the bones, but I did not mind. To punish the insolent creature, slicing his manhood off with both blades was more than enough.

He too fell to the floor, but he was screaming and crying instead of being dead.

A fourth rat shoved his blade through my chest, but it did not matter. I had already grabbed him by the throat before he could act any further and had thrown him to the ground. I quickly dealt with a fifth rat by using his skull as a sheath for my blade.

I used my free hand to grab a sixth by the head and shoved it into a wall, repeatedly bashing it against the rock until there was only a blood smear remaining on the wall.

From behind, the forth rat had placed another claw in my waist, however, I merely turned around to greet him without displaying any signs of pain.

He stumbled back, tripping over the corpse of the third rat, and fell onto his behind.

"H-how are you not dead!? Why are you killing us!?" The rat screamed as he slowly backed away, the fear in his eyes wide and overbearing. "You're supposed to be a warrior! You're strong, so why are you using your strength to betray us!?"

I inspected the bloody dagger I held in my hand. "I didn't know rats could talk but, to answer your question, I'm killing you _because_ I'm strong. I also harbour a strong dislike towards your kind."

I slowly licked the blood off my blade and stepped towards the rat. He had hit the wall a moment ago and had nowhere to run, so I wonder how he'll react.

As I neared him, a third claw, which should have been impossible for a bipedal rat, had pierced my stomach like every other blade, however, I shrugged it off with a sigh.

I grabbed the rat by the head and threw him to the ground beside me, making sure he was facing upwards. I quickly straddled his waist, his eyes wide and bloodshot as he hyperventilated. The scent of urine slowly permeating throughout the cave.

In response to the rat soiling himself in front of me, I merely raised my blade high into the air and placed it into his chest, watching as his face contorted and twisted in pain.

I raised the blade once more and let it fall into his stomach, a fierce howl escaping his lips.

And then I raised it again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again andagain and _again_ , all the blood splashing all over my body and face.

But I continued to raise my blade into the air, despite knowing the rat had stopped moving long ago.

And then a squeal came to my attention as I recognised the three pigs that were huddling in the corner, their tears driving me towards them.

"There is no need to be afraid," I started as I stood over them. "I promise I won't hurt you." The three pigs raised their faces and stared up at me, however, they were too ugly to look at. I frowned as I pointed my blade at them. "I can't promise anything on my friend's behalf, though."

With looks of sheer terror and horror spreading across their faces, I quickly shoved my blade into the throat of one of the pigs. It hit the rock wall on the other side and snapped in half with a loud clang, however, there was no problem here.

I merely chose a club and resumed my work.

It was satisfying, you know. Watching as the faces of those pigs I was jealous of become a twisted, ugly mess of flesh and bones. I mean, I'm only jealous because they get to enjoy themselves. It's not like I wanted to be reborn with stupid human morals or anything, so why is it that I had to be the one to suffer?

Why can't they suffer in my stead?

They were carefree and didn't care about the things a human would do in this situation, so that is why I'm jealous of them. They _did_ get to eat the tasty flesh of our mother, after all, and they did get to dive into the feast that was a woman, so why wouldn't I be jealous?

I'm a goblin, after all, and those things are in my nature.

And, now that all the rats and pigs have been reduced to nothing but corpses, it's time for me to feast. It's time for me to partake in what I have not been able to partake in since my birth.

 _It's time for me to be a goblin now that I've escaped the shackles that human part of me had placed around my ankles._

As I rose to my feet, my body a bloodied mess, my vision began to blur. It was spinning, almost as if I was trapped inside a spinning top, and everything was slowly fading away into darkness.

I staggered leftwards into the wall, being forced to use it as a support, and gasped, the pain of a thousand stabs finally forcing themselves upon me.

It didn't take too long for me to topple like a detonating skyscraper, one hand falling onto the handle of the blade I had shoved into a rat's skull.

With my vision dyed black and my hearing slowly fading away, I had no choice but to miss out on what I have been craving for so long.

I gripped the dagger as tightly as I could to dispel any fears I might have and, as distant screams of shock and disgust reached my ears, I knew my fate had been sealed.

I was most definitely dead and there was no way to save me.

* * *

 **I'm going to Japan for ten days from Wednesday, which is tomorrow my time. Don't expect any updates for a while and yes, the story is not finished. There is much more to come.**


	10. Meeting A Goddess (1)

Darkness was omnipresent.

No matter where you would go, you would be unable to escape it.

Even if you flew into the centre of the sun to escape it, the sun would eventually die out, leaving you with nothing but darkness.

Was this darkness a tragic prelude to the death of all living beings or was it something smaller than that?

Perhaps a sense of nostalgia and a nice cup of tea would banish the overhanging premise of death, but when darkness is inevitable, there is no point in brushing it out of your mind if you'll be greeting it at the end of your life.

This was the natural course of existing, after all, as your body stops functioning when you die. All you would see is darkness as you have no eyes to comprehend the light.

There would only be the deep, dark void to accompany you through your death until you cease to exist.

So why?

Why was I unable to see the darkness?

Why was my vision bathed in the nostalgic light of a holy presence?

Was I going to face the gods and my sins and be punished for what I have done?

But…I have done nothing to deserve such treatment. Despite my cowardice and despite the fog that was clouding my memories, I distinctly remember a crimson dyeing my field of view as green corpses littered the cave.

Yes, I had killed all the goblins and had given my life as a sacrifice to do so.

I was not strong, handsome or courageous.

Deep down, I was a weak coward that wanted nothing to do with violence, yet my own bravado was strong enough to blind even me of the painful truth.

How fucking pathetic is that?

Unable to see the truth, even in the direst scenario, I sacrificed my life for a bunch of people I didn't even know.

I was not a hero.

I was not their saviour.

I was a goblin who thought it would be a good idea to go against the norm because he was once human.

And look at where it led me.

After my death, being unable to embrace the darkness so I could let my ego slip away from me, I was being _mocked_ by the gods that had put me in this position.

And you know what?

They can get fucked.

I don't even care anymore.

I haven't met them, I haven't even seen their faces, and I don't even know if they're real.

But I despise them with my entire being.

They, the immortal beings who have forced me to live a short life full of regret and rage, are not people I want to meet.

I do not want to feel them.

I do not want to hear their voices.

I do not want to see their light.

 _I do not want them to allow me to exist any longer._

* * *

"Human…"

A feminine voice had called out to me.

It was gentle and comforting and was peaceful to listen to.

It was a voice I wanted to hear once more because it was pleasurable, but at the same time, I knew it was a voice I needed to hate.

It was clear that the voice was the voice of a god, one of the beings that was responsible for the placement of my soul in a goblin's body. What did the voice want from me, though? Surely, they're not arrogant enough to offer me a half-hearted apology, simply because they've realised that what they've done is wrong.

If they really did apologise, I'd resurrect myself so I can have my revenge.

"Human who was unfortunate enough to be reborn as a goblin…hear my words and heed my call…"

And now they're treating me as if I was stupid enough to believe me becoming a goblin was something that happened naturally and without the will of the gods intervening. Who the hell does this person think they are?

"I am the merciful Earth Mother, the benevolent goddess that watches over the people."

Merciful? Are you kidding me? Knowing my situation, this woman still dares to call herself merciful?

"I know you are the owner of many frustrations and rage, but your utmost attention is important. I will have one chance to speak to you, and that is all."

Can she read my mind? Can this self-proclaimed goddess read my mind? If so, isn't she breaking several laws regarding the invasion of a person's privacy?

"You have a purpose in this world, human. You have taken such a twisted, ugly form for a reason. Do not let your rage blind you in your search of the truth."

What? So she isn't going to tell me the reason I'm a goblin? Are you serious? Is she not going to tell me why the gods put me here, what my purpose is, and why she's speaking to me? Is she not going to tell me why I'm not dead?

"In the close future, there will be rumours of a man who has raised his blade against evil. You must align your compass and share a common goal to discover the truth."

What truth? All this cryptic bullshit is starting to piss me off. Why can't this damn goddess be honest with me and tell me the truth? Why can't she tell me everything I need to know and leave me alone?

…I'm not dead, am I?

"You must be confused, human. You thought your body had died, but that is wrong. I used my divine power to heal your wounds, but the damage in your mind is not something I can heal."

What the… So she _can_ read my mind!

"To wield the power of that goblin once more will mean the loss of your humanity, so do not rely upon it lest you unleash the future that was meant to be."

The future that was meant to be…?

"Do not borrow the power of that goblin once more unless you desire the end of the world as you know it."

The end of the world?

"Do not borrow the power of that goblin once more as you may unchain the Goblin Lord that is sleeping inside of you."

Goblin Lord?

I have too many questions that are going unanswered, but what this goddess has said has cleared up a few things, even if I begrudgingly must accept it. For instance, the fact that I was able to apparently kill all those goblins independently was because the goblin inside of me had taken control of me.

To make matters apparently worse, the goblin I'm inhabiting is destined to be a Goblin Lord, whatever that means. It sounds powerful and dangerous, so it probably is something that should be prevented, however, there are no promises that I'll be able to contain it.

I have one question though, one question that must be answered.

"Why am I the one that has been chosen for such an overwhelming task?"

Without noticing, the familiar voice of my human-self had echoed throughout the space, its dulcet tones seemingly surprising the goddess as she made a sound in her invisible throat that indicated her surprise.

It was almost as if she wanted to say 'huh' but was too prideful to do so.

"You are able to speak, human? Coherently, too? That is certainly a surprise. To answer your question… There is no specific purpose as to why you have been chosen. This has been done without the other gods knowing, after all, so I am unable to answer what you have asked."

"Does that mean you are the one to blame? You _are_ suggesting that you are the one who had brought to me this world."

There was a moment of silence, a moment of hesitation.

"…It was not I who had brought you here, but I am cooperating with the being that had done so."

"So you are the person I must make an enemy of, then."

"Is that the path you are willing to take? Are you implying you will release the Goblin Lord you are restraining by existing?"

"If it's a fitting form of revenge against those that have wronged me, then so be it. I am willing to give up my humanity if it makes even a goddess feel regret."

"…So you are willing to abandon your sister? You'll let the people who are currently watching over you be slaughtered and raped by the being inside of you?"

"…I see. You're a desperate goddess who is powerless to do anything herself. Is that why you are threatening me? I know it is impossible to meet my sister for I have died in my world a long time ago."

"It is not impossible to reunite your souls. If you allow me to guide your heart, I promise I will let you meet your sister once more."

I paused for I did not know the right path. In front of me, I could see three distinct futures, each with their different endings.

On the first path, I become a puppet, someone who is controlled by the gods, and carry out their divine will without any say in what I do. In the end, after many tribulations, I reunite with my sister and be happy after death. That is only if this Earth Mother is not lying to me, though.

On the second path, I turn my back on my humanity and become a bloodthirsty monster that rapes and pillages until he is slaughtered. I destroy those I wish to protect, and for what? All because I was petty enough to try and spite the immortal gods?

On the third path, I turn my back on the gods, but I do not forsake my humanity. I act independently and of my free will and suffer, but I will die knowing that what I have done is the result of my own actions. I will be responsible for everything that happens, but I will be content with whatever end awaits me.

And, if I had to be honest, there wasn't really three paths laid out in front of me in the first place. I wanted to believe I had a choice, but, all along, there was only one path in front of me.

"I'm not going to apologize because I'm not sorry, but I have to decline. I died a long time ago and it would be unfair for me to meet my sister in the afterlife if no one else is given the chance."

There was another small pause, this time a sense of melancholy pervading the holy light.

"…I-I see. If I had to be honest, your response is…unexpected."

I snorted, muttering a quiet, "Do you seriously think _anyone_ would like you after what they've been through?"

"Well, your experiences can't have been that bad, right!?"

She was frantic now, obviously desperate to bring me to her side.

But I was not a fool.

I could not be swayed by the flustered goddess as she was a heartless being that held no remorse for what I have been through. Could things be different? Certainly. If I was reborn as a human in a nice country village that was never attacked and was always peaceful, I would help the goddess.

However, because she is a fool that is blind to the innerworkings of the emotions us humans are capable of feeling, she only has herself to blame for her disappointment.

"You dare to undermine what I have been through?" I spoke, my voice low. "Are you aware of the pain I had experienced, being born into a tribe of feral animals that forced me to _eat my own mother's flesh_? Do you not know of how I had _failed to save several people_ _and had to watch them be raped and murdered_? Do you not know of the evils these goblins commit or are you just too dumb to recognise them as bad?"

"…I have no words to describe how apologetic I am."

"That's what I thought. You nor this being you are associated with have thought things through. You are heartless gods that show no remorse for what you have done outside of a simple, 'I'm sorry, please forgive me. It's the right thing to do because I'm a goddess and all! Hey, while you're at it, you may as well become my puppet because that's also the right thing to do!'"

"…"

"You're not denying it because it's the truth, right? If you know that, why bother speaking to me in the first place? It's a waste of both of our times. Now leave me be."

"…I am sorry, and I intend to make it up to you somehow. I have left you with several gifts as compensation for what I have done. I realise the errors of the path I have taken; however, it is the only one. I hope to meet you again next time and it may be in person. I sincerely hope we have an amicable relationship by the time that happens. I bless you and your future endeavours and pray for your safety."

And, with that, the light slowly faded away, leaving me to dance with the darkness I was no longer able to reach.

And then the strong scent of cherry blossoms invaded my senses and the sights of the world returned to me.

* * *

 **I'm back. Also, our goblin friend didn't suddenly reincarnate for no reason. People die when they are killed, anyway, so divine intervention was inevitable, however, it is not a focus of this story. He has clearly turned his back on the gods, so don't be disappointed by this outcome.**


	11. The Trio (1)

Cherry blossoms? It's…strange to smell such a scent, considering there was no such scent in the moments I recall before my death. In fact, my nostrils were filled with the pungent stench of iron and copper so I don't understand why I was smelling cherry blossoms.

Perhaps I really had died and was currently resting under a large cherry blossom tree in the spring.

Was it even spring when I had died? For some reason, I was struggling to remember such a small detail… I was disturbed by such a revelation, but it didn't impact me as much as I thought it would. I was only missing the scent of the flowers, the green grass and the…imagery of the smile of my sister when she got into the school of her choosing.

I went to hold a hand over my head as several hot, agonising shots of pain ran through my mind, but I was unable to do so; something thick and heavy was restraining my hands behind my back, preventing me from doing anything.

I groaned and clenched my fists as tight as my eyelids and waited for the pain to subside, however, it was persistent. In fact, it was enough to make my mind feel blank, but I was not going to give in to such a weak method of torture.

I've been through much worse in my short life, so it was all I could do to grit my teeth and push through the pain.

Why is such a thing happening, anyway? Is it because of the goddess? Is this one of the gifts she had promised me? An amnesia that is robbing me of my previous humanity? What else has she given me? She did say she has left me with various gifts, so I wonder what they truly are.

I wouldn't be surprised if she was trying to convert me into a mindless puppet, but what did I know?

As far as my knowledge went, she may as well be called Aqua as she hasn't done anything useful.

Never mind that. These thoughts were coming to mind to distract me from the pain, so they were just me joking around. Although, the bit about the goddess being useless may or may not be a joke.

However, after what felt like several minutes, the pain finally subsided, leaving a faint sensation of lethargy in my mind. That meant there was no need to joke around anymore and that there was certainly a need to figure out the situation I was in, so I easily opened my eyes to meet a wooden ceiling.

…A wooden ceiling? That can't be right. All the buildings were burnt down in the fire, weren't they? Unless I was in some hidden shack or a completely different village, there's no way I should be seeing such a strangely nostalgic sight.

My chest was feeling tight as I simply stared at the wood and counted the number of planks.

Who would have thought I'd feel nostalgic upon seeing a wooden ceiling upon awakening? Although I'd only seen such a sight several times on school trips, it felt as if it was a part of a distant memory that was several decades past its happening.

I couldn't help but frown, though, as there was no need for such sentimentality. Even if it was unjustified to blame such feelings on the goddess, I really wanted to use her as a scapegoat, however, I wasn't stupid enough to simply blame everything on other people.

Yes, everything is obviously my fault, but that's okay. If I can accept that everything that happens is the result of my own mistakes, I won't feel dissatisfied.

Yeah, that makes sense. So, to embrace my ideal, I must observe my surroundings. Catch my bearings, dismiss my invalid feelings, and become a stone statue that carries all its sins and burdens on its back. That's the only thing I'm good at, after all.

I've been doing it all this time, haven't I? When I was born, I did immerse myself in rage, but I did not act and beared the sin of consuming my own mother's flesh. When I desperately tried to save the girl that had been captured, I lifted the burden that was my own weakness into the air and destroyed another with it.

In fact, I feel as if the rage I felt during that moment was a prelude to the loss of my sense of self merely moments ago. And to think it was me simply borrowing the strength of the goblin I'm supposed to be.

I grit my teeth.

According to that goddess, I had become the thing I've come to hate the most because I was consumed by rage. Although it was an undoubtedly useful boost, I didn't want to rely on the bastard's power in the future lest I forget my self-determined purpose in life.

Yes…that's right. I can't forget my humanity nor my existence as a human. Maybe my amnesia is a result of borrowing the goblin's power. That would make sense.

 _You can't blame everything on me, my friend._

Friend? Who the hell are you calling friend? And where were you when I was suffering? Surely that would be the right time to coax me into doing things I would have regret.

 _I was biding my time, looking for the right moment to start my coup d'état._

You… You're pathetic.

 _Hey, I'm not the one that relied on another person's power, am I?_

Hah, is that supposed to hurt me?

 _Maybe. If I make you angry enough, I can steal your body again. And this time, it's going to be permanent because there isn't a goddess to stop me._

I see. You really are a pathetic monster, relying on such petty tactics to try and get what you want. I hope you die horribly in a fire somewhere.

 _The only way that'd happen is if you get crucified._

There's certainly someway to get rid of you without killing myself and I'm going to find it.

…No response. I expected as much, but to think I'd have a full conversation with it was the unexpected part. Perhaps relying on its power has given him a stronger position in my mind. If I rely on it again, our positions might be reserved, just as it had suggested.

To be in such a position would be a personal nightmare.

"It's…awake?" A quiet, distinctly feminine voice with a gentle tone and succinct articulation interjected, rousing me out of my thoughts. The amazing thing, though, was the fact that I could understand what they were saying. It didn't sound like Japanese, though…

"I'm surprised it isn't dead." A second, rougher voice responded with a third sighing in the background.

"You saw the holy light. There's no way he'd die with that amount of divine intervention." I frowned and furrowed my brow as I struggled to comprehend what was happening. I mean, I can suddenly understand what people are saying, even though it sounds like complete gibberish to me.

Perhaps I can only understand the intent behind their words and not what they're saying. I wonder if they'd be able to understand what I say…

"Well, yeah, but I'm surprised _we_ haven't killed him yet. This is a goblin, you know? They nearly got us a couple of days ago."

"I'm certain this is the same goblin that saved us back then."

"You still think that happened? You'll be regretting your words when we get stabbed in the back by this thing later."

And then it struck me. This was the trio I saved in the cave. Even if it felt like eons ago, it was only two days at best.

"I'm telling you it happened. How do you think I managed to save you?"

And then I came to another realisation.

This ability to comprehend what these people were saying was one of the gifts the goddess gave me. Although it is useful, it feels like a cheat compared to what I'd need to go through to learn the language. In fact, this was so convenient, I feel at least a little sorry for the goddess I was oh so _rude_ to.

Our conversation wasn't that bad. It could have been much worse.

"Well, I dunno. Maybe you found a hidden strength inside of you and used it to your advantage?"

"Now that's just stupid."

"U-um…if it's true and he really did save us, shouldn't we untie him?" The first voice interrupted the second and third's argument. The third would have agreed with a nod, the second shooting an annoyed glare at the first, and that was the end of their silent vote.

How do I know all of this? From what I've heard from the trio so far, the first and third seem to be amicable towards me while the second seems to dislike me. It's not that hard.

In the next instant, a pair was standing over me, one with brown eyes and wearing a chest plate and the second with green eyes and a staff.

To go into more detail, the first person, who was obviously the third voice due to her talk about me saving her, was the knight I had personally saved in the cave. She had long, flowing blonde hair that reached her waist, large chocolate brown eyes that were currently giving me a warm look, and milky skin that looked quite healthy. She was wearing a pleated blue skirt that stopped halfway down her thighs, a white blouse under her bloodied and scratched chest plate, and brown knee-high boots that were laced up. She also had a sword attached to a belt that was wound around her waist.

The second person, who was now identified as the first voice, wore a plain, black robe with a hood that stopped short of her ankles, her feet clad in worn leather boots. In her right hand, she held onto a long wooden staff that was taller than her and was straighter than a street sign. Her face was barely visible under her hood, but I could tell she had pale skin, bright green emerald eyes that were simultaneously dull, soft lips, and a mop of black hair that was threatening to spill over her eyes.

"He's…staring?" The first voice, who I shall henceforth call 'mage' due to her appearance, took half a step back with wide, trembling eyes. Was this the girl who had nearly been defiled by a goblin, or was she just afraid of me because I was not a human?

"He is. It is an understandable reaction, though." The third voice, who I will call 'knight', knelt next to me. I obediently rolled onto my stomach without a sound, discovering I had been lying on soft hay the whole time, and felt the fingers of the knight gently brush over my hands as she fiddled with the rope.

She quickly completed her work and stepped back before I slowly pushed myself to my feet.

In that moment, a wave of nausea came over me as I stumbled to the side. I instinctively held a hand out to lean on something to stop my fall but tripped over anyway. The quiet chuckle of the second voice was heard from across the room.

"Do you think he's alright?" The knight asked as I pressed my hands against the ground, lifting myself up as if I was doing a push-up.

"I dunno. I mean, he was dead when we found him. He stopped moving completely because he had no blood." Now this was an interesting piece of information the second voice offered me. Even though the goddess says she healed me before I had died, these women are saying I was dead. If I really had no blood left in my body by the time they had found me, I definitely did die, so there's a liar somewhere in the midst of my information whirlpool.

But, if I had to be honest, I doubt I died from blood loss as restoring blood through magic would be impossible, no matter how hard you try to rationalise it. Sure, you could boost the production sequence, but it would be impossible to create it out of thin air unless alchemy was involved.

I mean, I could simply have anaemia or something like that. It may be severe, but I still have enough blood in me to be alive. Even if I didn't and some wizardry returned it to me, these girls could be mistaking the blood of my kin as my own. From the screams I had heard moments before I had passed out, I'm guessing they had found me, which would strengthen such a theory.

However, the concept of thaumaturgy saving me was intriguing. After all, I know nothing about this world, other than the fact that goblins, humans and the gods exist, so for all I know, magic might not even be real. It would be shocking for that to be the case, but that wouldn't explain the mage's outfit. Actually, why am I calling her a mage if the existence of magic hasn't even been confirmed yet? I should ask someone about that before I forget. In fact, there's a supposed mage standing in front of me who I could ask.

As I spun around on my hands and dropped onto my butt, I cleared my throat. I stared up at the mage, gazing into her soul, and spoke. "Does magic exist in this world?"

She tilted her head to the side, seemingly confused.

"Did he just try to speak?" The second voice called out. I ignored it, staring intently at the girl in front of me, before she glanced at the knight to request assistance. The knight simply shrugged her shoulders.

"If he tried to say something, it was in a language that is unknown to us."

* * *

 **Merry Christmas! If you don't celebrate Christmas, happy holidays! Anyway, reader input time. Should the human characters have names, or should they be called by their classes? I want the people to decide because I think it's important for my readers to have some input.**


	12. The Trio (2)

…You've got to be kidding me, right? They can't understand me, but I can understand them? I mean, sure, I did speak in Japanese, but I was thinking that if I was somehow understanding a bunch of mumbo jumbo that I've never heard before, it'd be the same for them.

As it turns out, that's not how it works. I can understand the meaning behind their words, not what they're saying, meaning that goddess really did do a half-assed job. Would it be fair to insult her some more the next time I see her? No, wait, she might have her reasons, but that's being optimistic. For all I know, she could be saving some cards to lure me over to her side.

Hmm, what do I do now, then? I can't converse with the trio, so trying to say anything would be useless. I suppose I need to wait and see what happens.

With this thought in mind, I slowly pushed myself to my feet and held both arms out to balance myself. This proved to be fruitless, though, as my earlier weakness that was the result of a deep sleep has disappeared. I glanced at the mage and the knight, scratched my head and sighed.

"So, what are we going to do with him?" The second voice called out as they audibly inched closer to me.

"Well, we just can't kill him, not after what we saw. He had to have done that himself."

"What if he was doing that because he was jealous?" The knight sighed.

"You're always saying this kind of stuff when you're paranoid." There was a shape exhale of air from beside me and, as I glanced up at the person that was standing next to me, they spoke.

"Is it not wrong to be paranoid when this animal is in the same room with us?" The only words that summed up their appearance as accurately as possible was feisty; they had pointed, narrowed azure eyes that were simultaneously glaring at me and the knight and small, pursed lips with an unruly mess of grey hair on their head that stopped short of their shoulder blades. They wore tightfitting black cloth that exposed every curve on their body and, unlike the other two, had a voluptuous figure.

She fit into one of the following categories – succubus, assassin, temptress, escort or…fighter? She did appear to have leather gauntlets hanging from her waist by some thick cord and no, those earlier titles were not because of her body.

"It's okay to be paranoid, but when you say stupid stuff because of that paranoia, you should take a moment to think about the things you wish to say." The fighter huffed in response to the knight's truthful remark and turned around. She walked off somewhere as I pursed my lips.

The knight sighed and hurried after her, leaving me with the mage.

A hesitant glare from said mage was telling me to stay away from her, so I respected her wishes and began to look around instead. This when I inferred the type of building we were in. In short, it was a barn. This was obvious because of the hay that was everywhere, but there were individual stalls that would have housed different kinds of animals.

However, at this point of time, it was occupied by women in various states of undress in varying levels of consciousness. They were all decently young, too, with the youngest being around fifteen and the oldest in their late twenties.

I turned my gaze away from them lest the mage misinterpret my stares as a sign of goblin lust and head towards the large, open door that revealed the sunny wheat fields and village that had been reduced to a large pile of black charcoal and ash.

I couldn't see the knight or fighter, meaning they had quickly ventured off somewhere together, which left me to my own devices.

So…what was I supposed to do now?

After everything I've been through, I had found the resolve to die doing the work of a hero…

No, that's not right. I'm not a hero, nor am I someone that is worthy of praise. I did the right thing, sure, but it was a product of much frustration and built up rage that was the result of hesitation. If I was mentally stronger, I could have saved some people.

I could have saved that girl and her father and maybe everyone else in the village.

But I didn't. Because I was a coward, someone that was unable to find strength in a time of need, all the ideals I had in my childhood were destroyed under the weight of a million white lies. I couldn't be a hero, I never will be, so why am I so fixated on the concept of being someone that will risk their lives to save everyone else?

To make matters worse, the only thing that seemed to remain of myself when I was stolen by the goblin inside of me was that desire, even if it became a twisted and corrupted mess that was designed to satisfy the monster I had become.

I could only click my tongue in annoyance as I furrowed my brow.

This was annoying. Everything about this life was annoying and frustrating. I had no strength, my thoughts were naturally conflicting themselves and I was a hesitant bastard.

Maybe it would be better to end myself before I make things worse, but I'm not cowardly like that. In fact, as far as I know, I was brought here to change the future and I've already done so. With the trio in the cave, I changed their fates.

Where they would surely be impregnated by now, quietly suffering in a claustrophobic cave waiting for the mercy of death, they were roaming about as if it was any normal day. They can laugh, they can cry, and they can feel, even if it's only for one day longer.

I'd also saved various women from the village, although I was too late to truly save them. They're mentally traumatised, but they're still alive, and that's all that matters.

I was not a hero, nor was I someone that was worthy of a title even remotely close to it, but I can live knowing I've saved _someone_ and dedicate the rest of my existence to protecting them.

Yeah, that sounds nice.

I'll stick to that trio like glue, even if they hate it, and protect them from the true evils of the world with what little strength I have.

* * *

It was now evening.

The moon was high in the sky and the trio was huddled up around a small campfire a few meters from the barn. They were eating dried meats and fruits as they quietly talked amongst themselves.

I sat by my lonesome in the darkness, staring up at the night sky a considerable distance away from them. I could feel their eyes on me every so often, but I didn't mind. I _was_ a monster, so it was only normal to treat me differently.

I was even fine with starving. I was used to the sensation of my stomach twisting and turning in pain, after all, so there was no problem there. All I wanted was to feel the cool air on my skin while I absorbed the sights of a foreign sky.

Yes, I was content with such fruitless things as I was simply… _human_ …

I muttered the word to myself in my mother tongue a few times as I felt a strange sensation creep into my chest. My heart felt as if it was being constricted by a snake and an unwelcome feeling wormed its way into my body.

I hugged my knees close to my chest as I stared down at the grass.

To be honest, I never expected to feel this way. When I was born, I had no choice but to become a being of hatred and self-loathing. Always hating my kin, always saying it was my fault things ended the way they did…it was an unhealthy lifestyle.

Sure, things are different now, but I don't know how to feel about that. I killed them because I hated them and was prepared to die in return because I hated myself. I hated what I had become and that was the end of it.

I was no human. I was never going to be a human. I am a goblin who will forever be a goblin and will never be someone who would be considered human, simply because I was a…monster.

Now I understand why I'm content with sitting by myself in a pit of self-loathing and pity.

I'm a monster and monsters don't deserve to mingle with humans. We're twisted beings that are born from the darkness and it should stay that way. We should never get the chance to be a part of the limelight, nor should we ever consider being remotely human.

But I can't agree with that.

Even though I understand why I don't deserve to have any friends or lovers in this life, I simply can't agree with the fact that I must roll over and die with that as the basis of my existence. To change the future, to protect the people I must keep safe, I must abandon such pathetic ideals.

I can't ever be human, but I can't be a monster, either.

I must be the in between.

I must be the link that connects the two concepts and harmonises them.

To become someone who has true strength, someone that can do the right thing, I must abandon my humanity, but I also must abandon the fact that I was a monster.

Most humans don't murder.

Most monsters succumb to their lusts.

But me?

I've exterminated a tribe of goblins and the sexual desires within.

* * *

Roughly an hour later, the trio went back into the barn, leaving me to my own devices. Although they hadn't closed the large door yet, they would probably be doing so soon, meaning I should hurry up and join them.

However, there was something I wanted to do before I went to sleep.

Under the cover of day, where I would be in plain sight, I was unable to rummage through the remains of the village due to it being disrespectful and, well, the work of a monster. However, some things must be done and this is one of those things. And, as the moon is in the sky and the sun has gone to sleep, I could theoretically do whatever I want as I had the sight advantage.

Humans are unable to see in the dark, after all.

Anyway, with that in mind, I jumped to my feet, dusted myself off, and calmly approached the scorched earth and timber. Although all the buildings were literally charcoal by now, with a few walls and a foundation barely standing upright due to the fact they had no structural support, there was no reason to be hasty.

I wasn't under any threat so I could take my time.

Well, I'd be doing that anyway because I'd be sifting through what could be considered piles of charcoal. In fact, some pieces were still a little yellow or orange and there was some white ash here and there, so I'd need to be careful lest I burn myself.

I acknowledged this fact and approached the nearest pile.

I began rummaging.

Other than the sounds of my grunts and the wood, there was nothing.

No wind, no animals…

It was just me and the nothingness of the wilderness during the evening.

 _I'm disappointed in you._

I'm not surprised.

 _So, you know why? That saves me the trouble of wasting my breath._

I'm good at ignoring certain smells when I get used to them.

 _What kind of an excuse is that?_

It's not an excuse.

 _You really think so?_

Yes. It might be the work of the goddess or my own strength, but the scent of cherry blossoms is nothing to me now.

 _You don't even enjoy the scent?_

I think it's nice, but it's not arousing in any form. It was like that in my previous life.

… _I see._

…

I don't know how long it had been since I had started rummaging through the remains of the village, but I was already on to the third pile. It seems as if I had lost my sense of time in that conversation with myself. It's either that, or I'm not scavenging properly.

I don't really care what the answer is, anyway. A glint of silver in the moonlight was all I needed to clear my mind of such trivial things. I mean, I may have found something valuable in this pile, so I was getting a little excited.

With a childish grin on my face, I quickly cleared the rubble around and on top of the metal object and rejoiced in what I had found.

It was a knife or dagger of some kind and, although it was shorter than my mother's, it still seemed to be sharp. The only downside was the fact that the handle was black and brittle, leaving me with a blade that had nowhere reliable to hold it.

Talking about my mother's dagger…where is it? I know I had it on me when I went crazy as I wouldn't have been able to kill anything otherwise, so it had to be somewhere around here. Whether the trio had confiscated it to protect themselves or it was still in the cave, I didn't really care.

All I wanted was to hold it again as it was important to me.

This knife will have to do for now, though, as it's better than nothing. I need something to protect myself with, after all.

I picked it up, carefully holding it in both hands, and head back towards the barn, the moon shining down on me.

Except the door was still open.

I frowned but thought nothing of it as someone was probably still awake. I mean, they must be smart enough to know that the door should be closed when they're sleeping as it's unsafe otherwise, but what do I know?

Perhaps the logic in this world is behind that of earth.

How long had I been gone, anyway? Maybe I was only gone for a few minutes, contrary to what I thought was a long time. If it really was a short time, I seriously hadn't been scavenging properly but I did find _something_ and that's the only thing that matters in the end.

As I was about to enter the building, though, multiple quiet, almost silent pairs of footsteps, were heard from within.

* * *

 **It's a little late, but Happy New Year!**

 **Regarding my little 'poll', most people want the characters to be called by their classes so that's what I'm going to do. If it gets too hectic, though, I'll give** _ **some**_ **characters names, but only the mains.**


	13. Defense (1)

A sudden rush of desperation.

A sudden rush of rage and anger.

Two familiar feelings were being suppressed as an unwelcome anxiety seeped into my heart.

It made sense to feel that way, after all, as there was an unknown enemy lurking around. Whether it was a goblin or something else didn't really matter to me as I simply wanted to confront my foe. But were they inside or outside?

As far as I know, they could be hidden around the side of the barn or they could be dancing around on the inside.

I frowned as I formed a tight grip on the charcoal handle of my metal companion.

What was I supposed to do? I know I've left my tendency to hesitate behind, or at least I think I have, but there's a split in the road. Although it would make sense to investigate the inside of the barn, the trio is in there and unless they somehow let themselves get killed in their sleep, they should be fine.

But that wasn't a chance I was willing to take.

If there are goblins in there, their footsteps would be quiet enough to go unnoticed by even the lightest sleeper. That meant they'd easily kill everyone inside or, if they were somehow desperate for women, only the threats.

I released a silent yet shaky breath of air as I closed my eyes for the shortest moment.

The next time they had opened, they were narrowed and fierce, the perfect tool to convey the fire that was bubbling in my heart.

It's funny how I'm automatically angry though, almost as if I knew what was to come. The worst outcome isn't unexpected to someone like me, but it's still disturbing how I've unconsciously decided that that was the case.

It's funny how I think everyone around me will die, regardless of their strength and fighting prowess.

Perhaps I've been confronted with too much death in too little time and have come to think of it as the only choice in any scenario for anyone or anything that gets involved with me.

Maybe it is acceptable to think that way, especially with my experiences in life. Who knows the answer to that, though?

Regardless of my introspection, I took slow, calm steps into the barn with my eyes slowly tracking the inside.

I hadn't seen any blood or gore yet, which was a good sign, even if the stalls were blocking a significant amount of my vision. Knowing this, it would be a wise idea to investigate each stall individually, however, my eyes traced the rafters and joists instead as I was being overly weary of my blind spots.

I didn't want to be assassinated from above, after all, as that would be a pathetic way to die.

Regardless, there was the pitter-pattering of footsteps somewhere close by, but it didn't sound as if they were in front of me. They didn't echo, but it was still hard to pinpoint where they were coming from.

Perhaps they were from behind me?

A quick glance over my shoulder revealed an empty doorway and the empty space beyond it.

I almost bit my lip as I found this situation somewhat frustrating. I mean, if there was an enemy here, it would be better if they revealed themselves instead of sneaking around like some thief. By the way they're acting, they probably are a thief.

But that didn't matter in the end as a quiet click of the tongue from behind was the enemy revealing themselves.

Should I be surprised to see four goblins lined up in the doorway, armed with makeshift clubs and no clothes to speak of?

I resisted the urge to growl menacingly as one of them spoke up, seemingly monologuing on how they'd been beaten to what they're calling a prize.

And that line of thought disgusted me.

Although I understand that it's in their nature to say those kinds of things, it was completely unacceptable. I mean, most of the women here were broken messes that hadn't spoken a word and, in the worst case, haven't moved since I had woken up.

And these goblins dare call them a prize, simply because of the ease at which they could claim the women as their own?

But I wasn't going to voice my opinion just yet. I needed to figure out where these goblins had come from and if it was worth destroying their group slowly and methodically.

I forced the most sheepish smile I could muster on my face as I quietly chuckled, offering the goblins a half-assed apology that they merely shrugged off with their own wretched giggles.

One of the goblins in the middle stepped forward and offered a chance to compromise. He said that because I was alone, I could pick out a single woman of my choosing and give up the rest in return. I shook my head, revealing there was roughly nine women in this barn.

The negotiator frowned and said I could have two women, but only if I helped them move the others to their base.

I followed up by asking where their base was.

It turns out they were part of a tribe that was roughly fifty goblins strong. Coming from the east upon seeing distant plumes of smoke from the ancient ruins they had occupied a couple of months ago, these four goblins were sent out to act as scouts.

After a day of travel, they had discovered the ruined village and this barn. They had sniffed out the women and had come to kidnap them.

Little did they know, I was here, not to mention the trio.

In fact, if the trio hadn't fallen asleep, they probably could have dealt with these goblins if they were not taken by surprise.

Talking about the trio, where were they in this barn and how are they still asleep? These goblins grunts would have surely woken someone up by now, but that's apparently not the case.

The negotiator held a hand out and asked me if I was willing to cooperate, even going so far as to offer me a spot in their tribe as they somehow figured out I was something called a wanderer.

Whatever that meant, I didn't like the sound of it.

But I still played along with what they wanted and approached the negotiator to shake his hand.

However, faster than he could react, I had pierced his throat with my shabby knife.

The handle crumbled into pieces of charcoal as the other three goblins took a moment to process what it was that had just happened.

By the time the negotiator had fallen to his knees, clawing at his throat, I was already in front of a second goblin, my fist flying towards his nose.

A satisfying crunch met my ears as the second goblin stumbled back.

The third and fourth finally leapt into action, swinging at me from both the left and right, but this was an easy attack to dodge.

I dropped to the ground, both clubs flying overhead, and used this chance to pounce towards the third. I punched him in the stomach hard enough to send him reeling and, as I went to follow up, a roar from behind forced me to spin around.

The fourth goblin's club hit me straight in the side, forcing me to wince, however, I pushed through the pain and grabbed the wrist the club was connected to.

I gave it a good twist and watched in satisfaction as he dropped the club, a loud popping sound indicating a dislocation.

And then the second goblin screamed at the third to run away.

I wasn't going to give him the opportunity to escape as he appeared to be winded, but as I ran at him, the second awkwardly pounced on me and dragged me to the floor, leaving us in an awkward pile as the third hobbled away with a hand over his stomach.

I cursed, jumping to my feet, and went to chase after him once more, but the second was persistent as he wrapped both of his arms around the back of my legs.

I was tripped up once more and could only grit my teeth and growl in response as I watched the third goblin staggered off into the distance, the fourth approaching me with a club in his good hand.

Whatever happens next, I hope I'm not too harsh on these poor fools.

I flailed my legs around, freeing my left, and kicked the second in the face multiple times as he began to crawl up my body, sending his face reeling as his nose shattered. He covered his face with both hands and rolled off me, giving me enough time to spin around as I jumped to my feet.

A hard thwack echoed throughout the night as the club hit my thigh at an awkward angle, however, the sharp throngs of pain it created wasn't enough to deter me. I grabbed the goblin's arm at the bicep and the wrist half a second after he had hit me and raised it into the air in tandem with my knee.

The only thing that had descended was his elbow onto my bony kneecap.

Nevertheless, the snap was quite satisfying to hear and, as he screamed and fell to the ground, trying to nurse his arm close to his chest with his dislocated hand, I slid over to the second and crouched down next to him as he quietly sobbed.

I told him he was going to answer all my questions if he wanted to live, to which he quickly agreed with a guttural voice.

I asked him how strong his tribe was. He said they didn't have many good weapons, but they did have several hobgoblins.

I asked him what a hobgoblin was. Although he sounded confused while he spoke, he seamlessly answered the question.

In short, a hobgoblin was even bigger than a human. Although humans were two times, maybe two and a half times taller than an ordinary goblin, a hobgoblin can be as tall as twice the size of a human.

I asked him how strong a hobgoblin was. He responded by saying one of the hobgoblins claim to have destroyed a wooden house with ease.

I cursed and glanced into the depths of the barn, noticing a few faces peering out from some of the stalls.

I made eye contact with the knight, noticed how her brow was furrowed, and sighed. It seems as if she wants me to end this. It's probably for the best, anyway, as I don't want her to think I'm affiliated with these goblins lest they decide to turn on me.

Jumping to my feet, I took two steps away from the second goblin.

I wrapped a hand around the handle of a club and hoisted it onto my shoulder before I met the tearful gaze of the fourth goblin. I offered him an apologetic grin as I approached him and, as I raised my club into the air, he began to sob and scream and beg for mercy.

The first strike silenced him.

The second strike ended his life.

I was covered in blood from head to toe, but I didn't mind. It was a consequence of my actions.

I hope the second goblin is less messy.

I stood over him, a spiteful gaze in his eyes as he bared his teeth and I shrugged as I held the club high over my head. I gathered all the strength I could muster in my arms and let the club drop onto his skull, the crunching and splattering echoing throughout the night.

Another sigh escaped me as I threw the club away. Stepping away from the body, my eyelids feeling heavy, I fell onto my butt. In a way, it was because I was tired and somewhat injured, but I was also glad I managed to beat the goblins without them hurting anyone I wanted to protect.

But I knew I had been lucky due to a combination of factors, their horrible weapons being the most prominent. Next time, things may be much worse, no matter how hard I fight.

I heard a pair of soft footsteps from behind me and glanced over my shoulder. Standing there was the mage, her eyes narrowed, and her lips pursed. "Did you kill all of them yourself?" I merely nod once in response.

"What did they want?" There was a short moment of silence before I slowly pushed myself to my feet. I turned around, staring into the mage's eyes for several seconds, before I raised a single finger.

It was pointed at her.

And then it pointed at the knight, who was approaching, and the fighter that was leaning against a support beam towards the back of the barn.

It stopped on one of the comatose women before it fell to my side once more.

"Did any escape?" The knight asked. A quick nod of my head was all she needed to curse. I dropped my head to convey my regret as a sigh escaped the fighter's mouth.

"So, we're gonna have to run away, huh?"

"We were going to have to leave eventually, so don't be like that."

"The goblins might chase us, and you know what that means. How many are there, goblin?" I raised my head and a hand and stretched out all the fingers as I clenched the other shut.

"Fifty…?" The mage muttered under her breath. "That's…a dangerous amount."

"Where would they be coming from?" The knight had asked.

I crouched down low and drew a plus on the dirt ground, drawing an arrow at one of the points to signify a northern direction. I simply pointed at the arm to the north's left.

"The east… Isn't that where we came from?" The knight continued, glancing at the mage.

"It is… We won't be able to return to the city, so we'll have to follow the road west to the next domain."

The mage's grip on her staff tightened and, as the fighter crossed her arms and sighed, the knight bit her lip, her gaze meeting mine.

"If that's the case, we're going to need to leave at dawn. Let's pray to the Earth Mother these goblins don't pursue us."

* * *

 **Yes, the trio knows our protagonist can understand them. Just because it wasn't explored through our protagonist's perspective, it doesn't mean they didn't discuss the topic when he wasn't around...**


	14. The Trio (3)

A familiar memory was playing through my mind like a film.

It was from when I was young and naïve and didn't have to worry about anything. It was from when I was but a child that fooled around all day.

It was a comforting memory, not because it reminded me of the freedom I had as a child, but because it was a memory that involved my dearest sister. In a way, it might be a reminder of what I had died for, but in others, it's simply nonsense.

Yes, it was all a pile of nonsense. It was nothing but a dream that resembled a beachside memory where I played in the sea with my sister. There was nothing special about the memory as it was an ordinary day, but the smile my sister wore when we were having fun was reminiscent of the sun in a perfect sky.

As she leaned over ever so slightly, her hands behind her back as she called out to me, the wind would tussle her silky hair as the waves met the shore. She would run off and I would chase her, the both of us enjoying our mindless fun, and that would be the end of everything.

Our parents would call out to us and we would return home to where everything would be right.

But not this time. In this dream, in the film where things are supposed to be happy, disaster had struck. From behind, just as she had turned to call out to me once more, goblins had come out of the sand like zombies and had pounced on her, dragging her to the ground along with her screams.

Even if it didn't happen in the real world, the fear and despair I felt was enough to make me tear up. I could scream and cry as much as I wanted, but I was rooted in place like a tree as they tore at her clothing and flesh.

All I could do was stand still and ask one single question; "Why?"

Why was this happening? Why had my dream been invaded by those I hate the most and why did they have to do what I hated the most? Why did they have to choose my sister and not another person? Why am I reluctant to fight back?

Even though I had defeated four goblins with my own strength, I felt powerless… No, I _am_ powerless. I'm unable to do anything when it matters, so I need to get faster and stronger if I want to protect those I care about. I need to be strong enough to defeat every single goblin I encounter on my lonesome.

I clenched my fists and tried to move towards my sister, to prevent the inevitable penetration that would rob her of her innocence, but a tall shadow was blocking my path. It was taller than anything I had ever seen and was slightly hunched over with its unusually long arms and grotesquely thin legs. It, the object of an eldritch nightmare, stared down at me, glowing orbs of a putrid shade of crimson mimicking eyes.

"I tire of these games," It sighed, its voice reminiscent of a charming gentleman. "And because I don't like them, I'll end them myself."

Faster than I was able to react, a large hand had wrapped itself around my neck, its grip tight enough to crush my windpipe. I was hanging in the air, legs swaying like a tree with the breeze, but that grip was not enough to end me.

I wasn't going to die so easily in a dream, so as I managed to curl my fingers to form a fist, blood pouring forth from my mouth, I grinned.

And then nothing remained after the sound of an intense popping, bar the echo of a guttural laugh that threatened to plant the seeds of despair in my heart.

* * *

My eyes snapped open. They traced the ceiling for any unfamiliar sights. When they were unable to find any, I forced myself into a seated position and held my head in my hands, a quiet sigh leaving my mouth.

Although it's a fuzzy, broken mess, that dream was…horrible. There aren't any other ways to describe my experience. Even though I don't vividly remember everything that had happened, I know the dream was bad enough to instil anxiety in my heart. However, a dream is a dream, so I shouldn't pay it any mind, lest it take over my mind and distract me from what it is I need to do.

…Yes, that's right. What I had witnessed was merely a dream that should have no consequence on the waking world. With this thought in mind, I wiped the dream out of the forefront of my thoughts and jumped to my feet.

As I exited the stall I had been sleeping in, I glanced around the barn, noticing the various naked women that were awkwardly standing around, some with cold, emotionless eyes, others with a fiery glare at their disposal, and found the knight standing in the doorway where there were quite a few puddles of blood that had no body to explain their presence.

Before I had even reached the knight, she had turned around and had nod at me, "It's a little later than I would have liked it to be, but we're setting out soon." I stood next to her, staring out at the destroyed village, without saying anything. "Are you hungry? You haven't eaten for a couple of days."

I stared up at her for a few moments before I shook my head.

There were people here who would need to eat more than I would and, if supplies are scarce, it's better for them to not be wasted on me. Even if my stomach is rumbling wildly and demanding a sacrifice, it wasn't something I was new to.

Hell, I wasn't even thirsty, but goblins don't drink much water in the first place. What little hydration they receive probably comes from the flesh they eat, but I'm surprised I've survived for so long without even drinking a single drop of water.

It's been a few weeks, I think, so in reality, I should have died a long time ago.

"By the way," the knight muttered, interrupting my train of thought, "do you have a name? It'd be a bit callous to refer to you as a goblin all the time." I could feel her gaze on me, but I simply stared out into the distance, thinking.

I mean, if I had a name, what would I want it to be? These girls haven't revealed their names to me yet, but it would be nice if I had some way to call out to them when needed.

"You're not going to tell the goblin your name in response, are you?" The fighter called out from behind. I glanced at her from over my shoulder, shrugged, and stared up at the knight as she bit her lip. "We shouldn't give him a name, either. He's a monster, not a pet."

That comment hurt just a little, but I had already acknowledged the fact that I was physically a monster, so it was more than easy to ignore the fighter's harsh words.

"That's simply not right," the knight responded, a frown plastered on her face, "He's saved our lives twice. He deserves some recognition, no matter how small."

The fighter stopped short of me, scowling all the while, and shot the knight a nasty glare. "Do I need to say it twice? This thing is a _monster_ , not a _person_."

"Although that's true, he's done more than _some_ people ever will. I simply don't see what the problem is with treating him like one."

The fighter had crossed her arms as she easily met the knight's stare. "You don't get it, do you?" There was a short moment of silence as the knight's face quickly changed shape. At first, she was scowling, then she pursed her lips before settling on a basic frown. The whole time she had pointed eyes.

" _I_ don't get it? Of course _I_ don't when compared to you, the great sage of everything that is wise."

"Oh, so you're playing that card now, huh? You're going to be patronising as per usual just because you can, right? Do you _want_ me to hit you or something!? If that's the only way to get my point through to you, then so be it!"

"I'm only doing this because you never listen to what I have to say. We're always arguing because you always have an issue with the things I want to do!"

The conversation was beginning to become heated, so I took this time to intervene by stepping between them, holding a hand up in either direction as a sigh escaped me. Neither of them said anything, but nothing needed to be said. They simply needed to calm down and not fight in front of the people they were supposed to be protecting.

Well, I understand how there would be conflicting ideals in a party, but I didn't expect it to be on the level where the probability of physical violence occurring was higher than it needed to be.

With that said, the mage was awkwardly standing off to the side with a complicated expression. Was she troubled by this or did she simply not like it when infighting occurred? Her strained features would agree with that theory, so I'll leave my deductions at that.

"A-anyway, you two," the mage muttered as she finally stepped in, "this is no time to be fighting. We need to leave soon." The fighter stared into the knight's eyes for several more moments before she huffed and turned away, sauntering off to some corner where she would do something that wasn't detrimental to the group's internal relations.

Needless to say, I was glad the mage stepped in and told them to separate themselves from each other, something I was unable to do, so I offered her a nod as a symbol of my thanks. She merely averted her eyes in response, but I didn't take offense to that. She was simply shy or bothered by my presence, both afflictions being understandable considering both of our circumstances, but only when I assume she is the person that was nearly penetrated by a couple of goblins.

In fact, that bothered me ever so slightly.

If it really was the mage that was moments from humiliation, it would explain how she was reluctant to meet my gaze or interact with me outside of serious matters, but that wouldn't explain why the fighter was so hostile, even after I had indirectly saved her life. If it was the fighter, it would explain the dislike she harbours towards me, but that in turn raises questions as to why the mage is somewhat afraid of me.

Having to think about such things would hurt my head so for now, I must sum it up in a way that is easy to understand. The knight doesn't hate me and probably likes me in a non-romantic way, the mage is somewhat afraid or shy or a combination of both regarding our interactions and the fighter seems to dislike me without any rhyme or reason.

There are definitely some historical factors that are at play here too, so I can't run off and disregard those. Whatever they are, it must have been a big enough event to permanently change their perspectives surrounding the identity of goblins.

I'm just going to predict that one of their villages was raided by goblins and they barely escaped or survived while the other doesn't like the fact they were at the mercy of a few goblins a short time ago.

Or it might just be their personalities. Who knows?

"Hey," the knight had whispered from next to me, pulling me out of my thoughts, "I'd like to take this chance to apologise for what you just saw. It was rather disgraceful, wasn't it?" The smile she was wearing was strained and tired and I could tell she wasn't very happy, but I appreciate her trying to make me feel at least a little bit welcome in this estranged group.

"To respect that idiot woman's wish and to avoid further conflict, I won't be giving you my name. Instead, just refer to me by my class. I'm a Knight." I let the sound of the word 'knight' sink into my mind before I opened my mouth to reproduce the sound.

The knight – no, Knight's – smile of satisfaction as she heard my guttural mumbling and presumably correct pronunciation was a sight to behold, but that quickly left her face as she excused herself to make the final preparations before our departure.

So, I stood there on my lonesome, avoiding the stares of the women Knight was currently talking to, while mulling over the sounds that were leaving my mouth. Compared to what Knight had said, something was lacking, but I was unable to pinpoint what it was.

It might've been the intonation, or perhaps it was me fumbling on the syllables. Considering the fact the language was nothing like Japanese, this was to be expected, but at least I was making progress. Even if it is with that detestable goddess' help, I _am_ moving towards a future that entails me speaking to people instead of being mute.

Several minutes later, after a short gathering where everyone was made aware of the destination of our journey, we all filed out of the barn towards the far side of the village, the only place I hadn't been, to the road that would lead our unique group to the west of an otherwise horrific destiny.


	15. Journey to the West (1)

Our journey along the winding road was less than stellar.

Some of the women were slower than what was desired and did not move faster, no matter the coaxing they were enduring, and the path had several sharp inclines that were quite taxing on the legs.

My side and thigh were in moderate pain, but it wasn't enough to make me whine about it. It was merely uncomfortable, something that is undesirable, and that is all it is. In other news, I had no weapon to speak of as none of the trio had any spare weapons, meaning my mother's dagger was missing.

I'm assuming it was left in the cave I was born in, but it was too late to go looking for it. It's probably better for it to remain there, anyway, as it has served its intended purpose and is probably as blunt as a flat surface.

Better yet, it shall remain with what remains of my mother's corpse as it belonged to her in the first place. I had no right to use it without her consent, even if she had died at my hands shortly after my conception, so I feel a little guilty about mistreating her blade.

Nevertheless, it was a trustworthy tool that had helped me endure the pain of my existence as a goblin, so I am thankful for it being there when I needed it the most.

I offered my mother a silent prayer as the wind blew through the swaying trees, hoping she can find the peace and normalcy she deserves in the afterlife.

She has suffered the greatest humiliation and pain, so it is all I can do to hope she can reclaim what is rightfully hers.

* * *

In the quiet presence of the night, there were no sounds bar the crackling of wood and the ambient cacophony of the crickets. Sitting across from me, cross legged through the large flames, was the mage, staring into the white coals with a blank expression.

Around us was Knight, the fighter and the various women who had collapsed from exhaustion when our resting spot in a forest by the road was the decided. They were currently sleeping, resting their weary bodies, with the mage being first watch.

She was supposed to switch out with Knight once the moon was roughly one third of the way through its path, but that was still far off. So, in the silence of the forest, she was merely staring, waiting for her time to rest to come, as I, a monster that is unable to sleep too easily in the dark, was watching her with tired eyes.

Every now and then, I would yawn, as any exhausted being would, but I wouldn't close my eyes. On top of being tired, I was also paranoid. Something felt off ever since we entered this forest and that is probably why there is a rotating guard, but I couldn't help but feel as if _something_ was watching us from the shadows, waiting for the right time to strike.

I could be imagining things, though, but there is the chance that there really is something in the darkness, beyond the light where an ordinary human wouldn't be able to see it.

However, I wasn't a human. I was a goblin and goblins are apparently able to see in the dark. That's why the distant trunks of the trees and the canopy of leaves overhead were eerie. Normally, it'd be horrifying to have no sight of what is in front of you, but at least then you can't see what might be there.

You're better off not knowing some things, after all, especially if one of those things is your death.

With your life blown out like a candle, your eyes distant and glazed over in half a second, it would be a death you wouldn't have known was coming. You would be at peace, not knowing what had hit you, but you would be dead anyway, not being able to register what it was that had just happened.

Perhaps it would be drawn out and akin to torture with no way to save yourself. Perhaps there is a blade lodged in your throat, directly in the centre of your trachea. Perhaps there would be a blade to the stomach with your entrails spilling onto the floor as your flesh is sliced open.

Nevertheless, you would die without seeing the thing that had killed you because it was _dark_. The darkness of death was little more than something you would never be able to register, but the pain you feel when alive as the warm blood seeps out of you is agonising.

If the goblins really do follow us and most likely catch up to our group, I fear they will employ the latter of the two tactics as they are cruel creatures that know no mercy. They will come out of the shadows, silence the mage with a blade to the throat and a hand over her mouth, before they go onto murdering and raping the remainder of the trio.

After that, they would round up the broken remains that were once women and escort them back to their home like a gentleman with his wife before they destroy them with the overwhelming urges of their unquenchable lust.

Thinking of such an odd future was enough to make me shudder, but I was a sick person for merely imagining it in the first place. No words would be able to change my mind and scrape the dregs of despair out of my heart, so I had to accept such a stringent thought as a result of my mere association with the goblin species.

However, there is a noticeable trend in how I blame every undesirable thought on the goblins. Is it not normal to blame things on those who have broken you in serious ways or those that have wronged you? It is, but it's starting to get excessive.

Just because I can see a grim future where there is no hope left for me, that doesn't mean it's the goblin's fault. It's just me being me and wallowing in what little pessimism I have by merely existing. Yes, someone may die in the future, but I shouldn't think of everyone dying at once as that is simply irresponsible and an irredeemable quality.

I stared into the mage's dim eyes as I frowned, her eyelids looking heavy as she silently moved her lips, seemingly speaking or reciting something to herself.

Such a sight reminded me of the fact that everyone here has a dream, some future where they may be happy and content with what they have, and that they're living creatures that deserve to live.

The same could be said for the goblins, but in what civilised nation would they even be given the most basic of rights? Whoever does so is probably a demon that is wishing for the end of humanity and I hope that for the sake of the world, such a person does not rise to power.

With similar thoughts rushing through my mind, I found myself staring up at the moon until I had eventually fallen asleep, my mind unable to withstand my exhaustion any further.

* * *

In the early hours of the next morning, there was a bit of dissent among the group.

If I was to give my opinion, I would say it was quite a childish subject to argue over, but people would always have differing viewpoints on various matters. What was today's argument?

One of the girls, the youngest of the group, was not convinced we needed to travel west. Although she had been told there was a settlement of goblins somewhere to the east, she was not aware of the danger the group possessed with their numbers.

They were apparently fifty strong and with nine of us, there is no way we're going to leave unscathed. In fact, there's a high chance all of us lose and are killed or enslaved until our deaths, but that is the worse outcome imaginable.

Even with Knight warning the girl of the dangers, she wasn't having any of it. She was insisting the lord of the town to the east would deal with the goblins and everyone here, but Knight appeared to be unconvinced.

She mentioned her position as an adventurer, something I was intrigued to discover, and how adventurers took on quests to exterminate goblins as the local militias and royal military were not willing to deal with such pests when they have bigger problems to deal with, such as the resurrection of a demon lord.

I simply pursed my lips in response to such an offhanded remark as the severity of that scenario was not present in the Knight's easy-going subversion.

Anyway, Knight's comment appeared to force the girl into a corner as she narrowed her eyes and bit her lip. She glanced down at where I was sitting and then turned and pointed at me, however, I already knew what she was going to say. "Why is a goblin travelling with us anyway!?" Was what she screamed, but I merely ignored her remark and sighed in response.

I could have sworn I heard the fighter muttering something about someone finally agreeing with her, but it was too quiet and too far away for me to know she said such a thing.

"He's travelling with us because he's saved our lives more than once," Knight had said after sighing in tandem with me. "And don't try to change the subject."

"I'm not trying to change the subject!" Is the biggest lie this girl has said, but I don't really blame her for being so stubborn and brash. It's simply the nature of humans to be prideful creatures. With that said, I used to be like that during high school.

Whether it was puberty or me being an asshole, I refused to back down on a lot of topics and that led to a few fights. Winning or losing would naturally determine who the victor was, so I wouldn't back down no matter what and would fight for what I had believed in and, despite being a lithe yet somewhat tall creature, I packed quite the punch.

I think I broke someone's nose after they had tried to target the most important part of a man's body and that was one of my biggest achievements as it taught most people to not mess with me. I wasn't going to be a pushover, not when my pride and reputation were at stake.

I digress.

Sympathising with the girl was an action I can do, simply because I used to be like her, but I didn't agree with her flawed thinking.

The way I see it is as follows.

I had been sexually assaulted by a goblin, but a goblin saved me. This creates confusion in my heart, however, a trio of human adventurers had come along to pull me out of the cave. This allows me to paint an image that they were the ones that had saved me as there is no way a goblin can do such a thing. Therefore, why should I trust some random goblin that is from the same group that had raped me and the other women?

If that is an accurate depiction of her thought process, I desire a standing ovation from the audience my thoughts do not have.

"If you wish to travel to the east, you may do so at your own leisure," The mage interjected, her eyes half-closed. "No one will know if you go missing, so no one will come to save you if you are captured once more. Perhaps you enjoyed your mistreatment and that's why you desire hurrying towards an inevitable conflict with those goblins. Am I right?"

The girl's eyes were filled with fire as she stared the mage down, however, she wasn't refuting the outrageous claims that were made.

"Oh my, so it _is_ true." The mage apathetically muttered after a short moment of silence, at which the girl suddenly and vehemently denied the mage's words with a steaming red face. Knowing the conversation involving me had finished, I turned my attention towards the fighter who was crouching by a tree, looking rather perplexed.

I approached her and grunt once to make my presence known and, as she callously glanced at me in response, I sighed, stopping short of her. What was she observing so intently with a furrowed brow?

It was a small footprint, no bigger than my own.

My blood instantly ran cold, but I wasn't surprised. I really wasn't. I knew they would have caught up to us eventually, but this soon? It hasn't even been a day and a half and they're already stalking us.

Just what is that has enabled those goblins to catch up to us so quickly?


	16. Cesspool (1)

Neither the fighter nor I said anything as we stared deep into the form of the footprint.

We could have done something. We _should_ have done something, but we did nothing. We simply stared, confused, shocked and frustrated at the transpiring event. It wasn't long before the mage had noticed, followed by Knight, but no one did or said anything.

There should have been someone that would reassure us and say those footprints were simple animal tracks, but there wasn't. No one could accept the fact that the goblins had caught up to us with unnatural speed.

If Knight and her companions didn't even know how or why, how the hell was I supposed to rationalise this? The goblins surely aren't smart enough to tame any animals, nor would they know any teleportation magics, so how the hell is this the case?

They simply should not be here as they should be a day behind us.

After a minute or two of staring, the mage took a step back and gulped. She had both hands tightly wrapped around the centre of her staff and, as her eyes went wide and began to tremble, I silently cursed.

"Knight," I muttered, fumbling on the pronunciation but still managing to catch her attention despite this. She simply stared at me, waiting for me to continue with her head tilted to the side, but I didn't know how to say what I wanted to say.

I didn't even consciously _know_ what I wanted to say. All I knew was the sensation on the tip of my tongue was begging me to speak, to say something about this situation, in the hopes that it could calm us down and spur us into action.

"This is fucking unbelievable," The fighter had whispered after a sigh, her eyes sinking as her expression became increasingly crestfallen. "What are we supposed to do?" I glanced over at the mage, but she was still in a state of understandable shock, meaning I couldn't rely on her at all.

Knight's brow was furrowed as she appeared to be deep in thought, but no matter how hard she thought, there was nothing that could be done. If we tried to run, they'd surely catch up again, and if we tried to fight, who knows how it'll go? For all we know, we may as well be outnumbered four to twenty as the other people in our group are non-combatants.

I cursed again, but this time aloud in my native tongue. And I continued to curse and swear as I could feel my face tighten up and become uglier by the minute.

Once again, no matter how many times I must remind myself of this undeniable fact, I was powerless, even more so than the other times I've fought as I have no weapons to use. I was useless, I was worthless, and I was pathetic.

I became silent as a hand placed itself on my shoulder, but my face did not relax. "It's ok," Knight spoke, her voice shaky, "Everything will be fine. If they're this fast, there can't be a lot of them."

Despite her efforts, no one seemed to hear what she had said except for me. The fighter had seemingly given up, which is weird when you consider how feisty she usually is, and the mage is on the verge of having a breakdown.

"Knight," I spoke once more, and as her calm gaze forced a moment of clarity into my mind, I pointed a shaky finger at her sword and then the footprint. She furrowed her brow but nod nonetheless and held one hand on the hilt.

"You want to go fight them, right?" I nod in response and, as a quiet sigh escaped her, the fighter silently stared into my eyes.

"You're kidding, aren't you?" She mumbled, quickly averting her hardened gaze after speaking. I shook my head before I jumped to my feet, my breathing calm and collected as I glanced at Knight.

"This is the only action we can take in this situation," Knight had started, swiftly walking past me and into the forest, "because running away will likely result in someone dying." As I followed behind her, the fighter opened her mouth to say something, anything that would reassure herself, but she ended up gritting her teeth and narrowing her eyes.

"…I'll stay here in case something happens."

* * *

We followed the tracks for a decently long time, sometimes having to stop to catch our bearings as they randomly broke off and resumed elsewhere. It would appear as if the goblins were trying to hide their tracks, but if they truly were, they wouldn't have left any near the campsite in the first place.

Knowing this, I found myself deep in thought as I considered the idea of this being a trap to reduce our numbers. If it really was a trap, it would work splendidly as two of the four fighters have left to investigate a potential danger. With half the combatants, it would be easy to overpower the remainder of the group and leave nothing but bloodstains behind.

My chest felt tight upon realising such a logical fact, but it was too late to turn back. I didn't even know how to warn Knight of the potential trick, but I'd like to believe she'd already considered it as she's a self-proclaimed knight.

Whether that means she was or is currently a knight in service to a lord or is a mere adventurer that has the characteristics and knowledge of a knight doesn't matter as she is a knight either way, meaning she would be reliable in battle.

Yes, that is right. It doesn't matter if it's a trap on our end as I'm with a knight, someone that knows how to fight and strategize.

I found myself feeling confident and somewhat cocky and arrogant, but I supressed those feelings as nothing good would come out of them, especially when the opponents are once again a bunch of nimble and sneaky goblins.

Without any warnings, Knight suddenly stopped as the tracks ended once more, however, we were near a great clearing that was probably twenty meters across. Ducking behind a nearby tree and peeking around the thick trunk into the clearing revealed a large, seemingly endless and impossibly dark hole in the ground with a myriad of footprints surrounding it, heading off in multiple directions.

I glanced up at Knight, waiting for her orders as I was clueless as to what we should do.

Knight simply stared at the hole, her eyes also tracing the other side of the forest, before she released the breath she had been holding. She glanced down at me and then the footprints before kneeling, "There's a lot of them, but I don't know how many. Would you be able to see?"

I furrowed my brow before I slowly counted the individual at the tracks. I silently raised two hands, continuing to watch the hole as I suspected the goblins would be aware of our presence as Knight's womanly scent would be a beacon of light in the darkness to the bastards.

"An approximate seven, huh?" Knight muttered, bringing a hand to her chin.

And then a small, green head peeking out of the hole in our general direction was enough to make me silently curse. Naturally, Knight noticed this and peered out behind the tree to see what the fuss was about, but her reaction wasn't too different.

"They know we're here," She stated, jumping to her feet with her right hand already around the hilt of her sword, "So we're going to have to fight." And with that, she charged towards the hole and reached the surprised goblin after three seconds, her sword quickly leaving its sheath before it cut deep into the goblin's neck.

The cut wasn't strong enough to completely decapitate it, an attributing factor being a possibly blunt edge, so Knight used one foot to send the goblin flying back down into the darkness from where it had come from.

She glanced at me, gesturing for me to follow her, so I dashed over to her side. A quick glance into the pit confirmed a depth of about two meters, so I hopped in without hesitating, Knight following behind while displaying more caution.

Her armour and sword were probably heavy, so the way she sat on the edge and dropped in was an understandable move to make.

While she had been doing that, I quickly scanned the surroundings, discovering a single, apparently endless passage that is approximately two meters wide. It has a slight decline, heading further underground, but there is nothing else to note. I frowned, not convinced there was nothing special about the passage, but began to search the twitching goblin's body for something to use as a weapon as the others are probably already on their way.

The goblin in question only had a short tree branch that had been carved into some pike or spear, but it was a weapon I didn't have. Even though I didn't know how to use it and even though it was shabby at best, it was better than tearing the skin on my knuckles by punching the crap out of my enemies.

"It's dark in here, so I'll be relying on you to guide me as I can't see." Knight whispered, to which I nod, not that she was definitively able to see the gesture. Slowly moving forward displayed the ceiling's tendency to gradually lower, forcing Knight to eventually crouch, however, the deeper we went, the more confused I became.

I mean, it was becoming cooler and, although it was obvious this passageway was unnatural, it felt real and organic. Perhaps this was the work of a mage but, as Knight refused to speak, I could only guess that she didn't know what was happening, either.

It was a straight descent into the darkness, too. No matter how I tried to rationalise it, we were only going deeper and deeper into what may as well be hell.

After what felt like several minutes, we had found an opening that was large enough for Knight to stand in, although she was still crouching as I did not know how to tell her to stand. In fact, the opening was probably twice her height and was double the width of the corridor, the shape of the room being reminiscent of a dome.

There was nothing in the room, though, which was perplexing. Even though there was a goblin guarding this hole, there was nothing in it, meaning there is something wrong with the whole situation.

I mean, instead of goblins, there was only the dirt, the stones and Knight and me. Nothing more, nothing less.

Had this goblin been protecting a burial site of sorts or was he guarding nothing because he was somewhat insane?

"Have we reached a dead end?" Knight whispered, a heavy sigh escaping her as I grunt in response. "If there are no goblins in here, where are the others? There should be six more, right?"

I furrowed my brow, crouching low to the ground, and ran my hand through the dirt as I considered Knight's question.

Even though there were seven different tracks above ground, does that really mean there is more than one goblin? As far as we know, those tracks are recent, but that doesn't mean they are. They could be weeks or days old, suggesting a lower number of enemies, but that doesn't seem to be the case.

However, the dirt I was playing with was relatively warm, meaning something had recently been where I was crouching.

…Doesn't that mean there are goblins nearby?

As I opened my mouth to issue a warning to Knight, she spoke first, muttering a quiet, "I can hear footsteps in the passageway."

Upon hearing this, I dashed to the entrance of the room, haphazardly holding the wooden spear in both hands, and readied myself for what was coming.

"Are they goblins?" Was her follow-up, but I didn't answer and focused on the passageway instead. Narrowing my eyes, I could identify the figures of two small, green children sprinting towards us at breakneck speeds, one holding a shard of metal in a hand while the other dragged a thick tree branch behind it.

A quiet grunt of confirmation was my answer as I lowered my centre of gravity.

Following this, to mentally prepare myself, I closed my eyes, relaxing my body for the briefest of moments.

In the next instant, with eyes wide and my teeth grit, I dashed forward to meet the pair, the spear held close to my body with the tip pointing towards the goblin with the branch.

As soon as we met, I thrust the spear forward and was met with a considerable amount of resistance as the spear tip hardly managed to pierce through the flesh that was protecting the stomach. The second rushed in close, forcing me to abandon the spear as he swung the shard of metal around wildly like a blade, aiming to cut me.

With him attack like that, I couldn't get close to stop him, so I had to settle with retreating as the first pulled the spear out of him. The first wielded the spear with a triumphant cry and, as he joined the fray by shoving it in my general direction, I growled.

I was in a bad position with no way out as my back was to a metaphorical wall.

I couldn't leave Knight here as I had sworn to protect her, meaning I couldn't let her suffer the same fate as my mother or the women from the village, so I couldn't run away to save myself because of this, not that I ever would. So, I could only fight to live, yet I would most likely die as I want to protect the innocent girl behind me.

No, I _must_ protect her, so I mustn't die as she would be defiled until her gruesome and humiliating end.

A loud, unwanted scream from behind forced me to spin around as the dice of the gods had been cast.

* * *

 **I'd like to take this moment to appreciate everyone that has read and followed/favourited this story so far.**

 **Thank you everyone for five hundred followers, including guest readers! I wouldn't have made it this far without everyone's help and support!**


	17. Takeover (1)

Something sharp tore the flesh on my back as a long object pierced the flesh of my side, forcing me to suppress a scream that would have otherwise damaged my vocal chords.

"I don't have time to fucking deal with you two!" I roared aloud as I turned back to face the pair, one hand applying pressure to the bleeding hole as Knight began to call for help, her screams quickly turning into guttural choking that faded away. Lifting the bloodied hand in front of me revealed the sickening crimson of my own blood, something I had not seen before, and this drove me mad.

My heart began to beat quicker, my breathing quickly became hitched and rapid and my entire being was filled with the fire of my burning rage.

 _How interesting. I thought you said you weren't going to give me any opportunities to live._

"Shut up!" I screamed to myself as I rushed the pair in front of me. Although they were triumphant and arrogant moments before, in the face of a loud, angry predator, they had quickly become frightened by the sounds of my screaming and had started to back away.

 _You know what will happen if you let yourself get any worse, don't you? That beloved goddess of yours won't be able to help you this time._

Without saying any words, I roared as my body collided with the spear-wielding goblin, his body quickly falling to the ground as he yelped in surprise. I quickly turned to the second and grabbed him by the throat with one hand, the muscles in my arm exploding with strength as my rage fuelled berserker status allowed me to slam him into the wall.

 _Oh dear. It seems as if I won't be able to calm you down, not that I wanted that in the first place. Isn't it common courtesy to warn your enemies of their death before it happens?_

"Die!" I screeched as the spittle flew from the goblin's mouth, my other fist already clenched tightly around the shard of metal I had confiscated all to easily as the goblin did nothing to resist. After pulling my arm back, I thrust the shard of metal into his forehead with all the strength I could muster, the ore easily piercing through the skull with a satisfying crunch.

 _I guess it's time for me to do my thing._

I rushed the spear-wielding goblin who was standing on shaky feet, the spear on the floor next to him, and planted my foot on his chest, kicking him back onto the floor where he belonged. I snatched the spear off the ground and raised it in the air, the end digging into the ceiling at an awkward angle, before I planted it in the goblin's stomach, the tool barely managing to meet the halfway point.

 _Farewell, human. I hope you enjoy the silence of the void._

Ignoring the goblin's teary screams of mercy, I began to apply pressure on the top of the spear, forcibly digging through the remainder of his flesh and organs before the spear touched the dirt. However, I didn't stop there and dug the spear into the ground, pinning the goblin to the floor. I quickly turned around, leaving him to suffer as I desperately needed to assist my companion.

The first thing I noticed was Knight's sword hovering above her bloodied midsection, both hands of a lanky goblin gripping the hilt as tightly as it could to support the weight of the blade. I ignored the other six goblins in favour of attacking the thief and body slammed him as soon as he noticed me, the sword flying as it left the goblin's hands.

Without losing any momentum, I reached it first and held it with both hands, the weight being a little too much for me to handle. Nevertheless, I haphazardly swung it at the goblin that had rushed towards me empty-handed, the tip digging into the enemy's stomach.

He immediately fell to the floor as his entrails spilled out of him, a screech leaving his lips as he quickly began to gather his intestines into a pile with one hand. A second goblin rushed me shortly after, taking advantage of the fact I was slightly unbalanced, and swung a brittle, rusted dagger at me.

The old blade shattered upon meeting the shining steel of Knight's sword, sending the goblin reeling. I took advantage of _his_ weakness by plunging the sword into him and using my momentum to push him to the ground, my body close to his.

As we hit the ground, blood exploded everywhere, splattering my face and body, so I quickly rubbed it out of my eyes before I jumped to my feet, ready to meet the remainder of the goblins who had now found it wise to attack me all at once.

"Knight!" I screamed, hoping to get a response from her, but as no sound escaped her, I roared once more as I prepared to meet my enemies.

However, instead of meeting my enemies' fists and shabby blades with my anger, I stumbled to the side instead, a bout of weakness swallowing me whole. I held a hand over an eye as a deadly headache pierced my mind and I keeled over as a searing, burning pain spread through my whole body.

I groaned with grit teeth, feeling them grind together, as the goblins finally made physical contact.

My world was turned upside down as they pushed me to the floor and, as two of them pinned my arms to the ground, the other two sauntered over to Knight with lecherous expressions. It was only then that I had noticed the dagger that was planted in her stomach and the various streaks of crimson and red flesh that littered her torso like a plague.

"You bastards!" I screamed, my rage towards their cowardly form of torture beating the searing pain and headache tenfold.

 _Yes, keep on screaming like that. That is all you need to do, young friend. Just let yourself go and I can promise that woman will be safe for the shortest of moments as I deal with these pests._

I struggled, kicking my legs about, not being able to do much with my arms. The only thing I could do was hopelessly watch as they began to slowly tear away her clothing, their pathetic manhood proudly on display as they licked and stroked various parts of Knight's body.

"Get the fuck off me!" Now I was tasting blood in my throat as my vocal chords were being pushed to their limits, but I didn't care. All I wanted to do was bash their skulls in with my bare hands as punishment for daring to hurt me!

And how dare they touch Knight. How fucking dare they try to violate that woman. She's the only one that trusts me, so I can't let anything bad happen to her!

"…Help…goblin…" She managed to whisper, her voice strained and croaky, but that was enough to set me off as flashbacks of the little girl in the village flashed through my mind. I began to scream incoherently, began to thrash around wildly and, as the goblins sitting on me were beginning to doubt themselves and feel somewhat afraid, I yanked one arm out from under one and used it to break the other's nose.

I jumped to my feet with a roar and screamed into nothingness, stopping the two violators in their tracks. One of them rushed over to grab the sword as the other stole a dagger from the ground, but such matters were trivial.

They wouldn't be able to hurt me at all. Not when I'm like _this_.

"Shit, how did he throw you two off him!?" The goblin with the dagger yelled, his eyes narrowed as he rushed me. I twisted to the side to dodge his strike and grabbed him by the skull, hoisting him into the air with an ugly grin.

"I don't know! He just got crazy strong suddenly!"

He kicked both feet into my stomach, trying to weaken me, but I resisted the urge to splutter and tightened my grip on his skull, both thumbs sneaking around to his eyes. They too applied pressure and, not too long after he began to scream, his eyes popped, permanently leaving him in a world of darkness. He deserves much more than that for trying to defile Knight, but I'll offer him his life because I'm a benevolent being.

"…What the…" The goblin with the sword muttered as I tossed his companion to the side headfirst into a wall, a growl escaping him as he too grits his teeth. None of the goblins tried to move any closer to me, but that didn't matter to me.

"What, are you all afraid of one small goblin or something?"

"You're not a goblin, you monster!" The sword goblin screamed as the one whose nose I broke audibly swallowed a lump in their throat.

I merely broke out into laughter in response to the sword goblin's retort before I immediately hardened my expression, my words as cold as ice. "That's pretty ironic coming from someone like _you_." He lowered his centre of gravity as he began to snarl, his expression becoming considerably ugly.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, you'd rape an innocent girl, so doesn't that make you a monster, _monster_?" I said as I slowly walked towards him, his feet sliding back with each step I took until his back quickly reached the wall.

"Rape? What the hell is rape?" He asked, turning his nose up like an idiot. I stopped short of the range of the sword and, with a sickly-sweet smile, responded.

"It's where you force yourself upon a woman for recreational purposes. In other words, non-consensual sex." The goblin furrowed his brow but, after a second of deliberation, he decided to attack me instead, his overhead swing hilariously predictable and slow.

I easily dodged by stepping to the side and, in a moment of strange calmness, grabbed his arm and threw him to the ground as he became unbalanced. The sword quickly fell out of his hands and, as I bent down to pick it up, one of the remaining three fighters, this number including the goblin I had thrown to the ground, screamed out, "Get him!"

I lift the sword off the ground and, as one goblin tried to tackle me to the ground, I stepped to the side, dodging his speedy charge. He collided with the wall behind me as the second sent a fist towards my face. I tilted my head to the side to dodge this his fist and, with a roar, dug the blade of the sword into his neck.

It cut deep and, as he fell back, spluttering and coughing on his own blood as he struggled to breathe, I spun around and delivered a slow yet strong strike to the goblin that had hit the wall, almost severing him in half at the waist.

He screamed out in pain, but I ignored his cries and went on to finish the final goblin, the one that had been one of the two to try and defile Knight and the one that had tried to attack me with the sword.

On steady feet, he stared straight into my eyes before he turned tail and began to run away, however, even with the sword, I was strangely faster than him. It only took ten or so meters to plunge the sword into his back with all my might.

With that said and done, all the enemies had either been incapacitated or killed, so there was no need to worry about any disturbances that may happened when I have my fun.

Yes, that's right. I wasn't fighting these goblins to protect Knight. I just didn't want them to damage my personal property. You could say it's a goblin being greedy, they always have been and I'm no exception.

…No, something's wrong with that line of thought. Wasn't I fighting to…protect Knight?

…Hahaha! That's the best joke I've heard in a while. Why would I, a goblin, ever try to protect a human? It just doesn't make sense and is laughable at best!

"But these cherry blossoms…god, do they smell good." I moaned as I felt my grin warp into a lecherous smile, that all too familiar scent becoming arousing once more.

Standing over Knight's bloodied, beaten corpse buried a sense of satisfaction deep into my heart. Although it wasn't me that had done it, seeing a woman be completely defenceless after a good beating is reassuring.

It simply means they won't try to fight back, which makes their terrified screams much better than they would be if they weren't half-dead.

"Thanks for the meal!" I muttered in the most sinister tone known to man as I forcibly part her legs, my eyes fixated on the woman's holy grail. I fell to my knees and crawled closer, not paying any mind to her incoherent muttering, and had one long sniff at the source of the cherry blossom smell before a laugh escaped me.

This was it! This was finally it! I was finally going to enjoy what all goblins desired! Even if it was in a bloodied, disgusting cave, I could finally claim my prize! I sure did try to suppress my urges, but how stupid was I to do so?

"…Goblin friend…?" The woman muttered, however, I merely chuckled in response.

"Yes, I'm a goblin and yes, I'll be your friend. However, there are certain… _benefits_ I require before I dedicate myself to such a childish relationship. This is one of them!" I positioned my manhood with one hand, however, before I was able to commit to the insertion, a foot to the face and a pained hiss was enough to send me reeling back a few steps.

"You… You're not him."

What was this? Some resistance? No matter. All I simply need to do is beat her more than she already is. Only then will I be able to cast my worries aside. Only then will I be able to claim what is rightfully mine.

"Who are you?"

"Me? I'm a goblin of course, although, I guess you can't understand what I'm saying. How unfortunate!" I approached the woman once more, however, she somehow pushed herself into a seated position, stopping me in my tracks.

The intensity of the glare she was shooting at me was enough to make shiver, but it wasn't out of fear. No, it was because I was aroused by the sight of such a defiant female. One wouldn't expect them to resist when they're beaten that badly, and that is why it's arousing. She's giving her all to resist my advances.

"No… _what_ are you?"

I spread my arms out to the side and, with a maniacal laugh, I simply said two sentences.

"I'm the one that is destined to be a Goblin Lord! Haven't you heard of me?"


	18. Takeover (2)

After a short moment of silence, the woman winced as she struggled to manoeuvre herself onto her knees. As she didn't say anything in response to my daring reveal, I was slightly disappointed, allowing myself to droop my shoulders, but I wasn't expecting anything less from her.

There is a clear communication error, after all, and it's all her fault. I mean, I'm fully capable of understanding all the things she's saying, so why isn't she able to understand me? She's clearly been neglecting her studies.

I wonder, should I punish her?

As I stepped towards her, she quickly wrapped both hands around the handle of the dagger that was in her abdomen, a pained expression clouding her face. "If you come any closer, I'll pull it out." Her voice was weak and quiet and was spoken through grit teeth, but I merely sighed in response.

"Do you seriously think killing yourself will stop me from defiling you?" I shrugged my shoulders as I spoke, but I didn't move a millimetre closer to the woman. If it's possible, I would enjoy it if she didn't kill herself as I enjoy the warmth of a living body, so I was being cautious on purpose.

I just need to make her let her guard down and that's when I'll swoop in and do my thing.

"I mean it," She continued, her knuckles slowly turning white. "I'm not afraid of death and I'm not afraid of you."

Isn't the latter half of the statement she spat out a bit contradictory? She's claiming she's not afraid of me, yet she's saying she'll try to kill herself if I move any closer. Honestly, it was a decent bluff, I'll give her that much, but her resilience means nothing in the presence of a Goblin Lord.

I'm capable of many things, you know? Because I'm fast and strong, stopping her before she does something pitiful is not outside the scope of my abilities. However, it is better to not be arrogant in this twisted situation.

In fact, it would be better for both of us if she didn't kill herself. I mean, I get to enjoy myself and she gets to live, so isn't it a win-win situation for both us? Although, there is a problem with the fact humans are too stupid to understand the complex trains of thought us goblins go through daily.

To feast, or not to feast?

To pleasure, or not to pleasure?

To procreate, or not to procreate?

'Tis simply a matter of time before the answer to all of the above is a sudden 'yes', but we really do think about such things before we go through with them. It's inconsiderate to those who are unfortunate enough to be in our presence, after all, and we try to treat our guests as kindly as we can, so is it not normal to at least weigh the options up?

"You're lucky I want you alive, woman," I spoke, her eyes narrowing as she glared at me. "Otherwise, you'd be dead by now. It's not possible to start an army without a whore, is it?"

"I don't like the sound of what you're saying, so be quiet." She managed to whisper as she slowly pushed herself to her feet, one hand still wrapped around the dagger as tightly as it could.

"So, what are you going to do now? Escape? We both know that's not going to happen, so it's best to reconsider your only option." She slowly backed away from me, trying her hardest to avoid tripping over a dead body or her own feet, as she glanced at the floor around her. Eventually, her tired eyes lit up and, as she crouched down with a hiss, I tilted my head to the side.

This woman can't see, can she? As far as I know, it should be absolute darkness for her, so the fact she's managing to recognise whatever it is she's trying to grab is somewhat impressive. Nevertheless, her efforts will be futile. If she plans to try and fight me, victory is as good as mine, however, I guess she'll be happy knowing she at least tried.

Hmm? What's this?

Standing upright, forcing a grin onto her pale face, she was holding a dagger in her free hand. She took one step towards me, her legs trembling, and then a second. "Because you're not him, I'm going to kill you."

I opened my mouth to respond, to make a nasty retort that would have ruined her if she was able to understand me, but I didn't have to do anything.

Taking her third step forward, she tripped on the corpse of a goblin and fell to her side, a decently loud groan escaping her as she struggled to roll onto her back.

I continued to stay silent, enjoying the struggles of this pathetic human, and stared down at the woman, intently watching her every move. After a few seconds, she managed to roll onto her back and, as she was closer to me than she was before, I decided to crouch down next to her.

"Oh dear, you didn't try hard enough, did you?" I sighed as I slowly traced a cut with one finger, the nail digging deep into the wound. The woman winced as the coagulating wound began to bleed again, and I took this opportunity to lick the wound directly.

I smacked my lips a few times, attempting to enhance the sweet taste, but turned my nose up at the taste of such a low-quality liquid. Does it taste like crap because it's spread thin or is it just naturally bitter?

I sighed once more.

"You're such a low-quality woman, but don't worry. I'll love you either way." I placed a hand on the woman's cheek and gently stroked it as I raised her head, a scowl forming on her face.

"Get your filthy hands off me." She muttered before spitting at me, the saliva exploding against my cheek. I stared down at her in shock, my eyes wide, before I grit my teeth and growled. I clenched one fist and pulled it back.

If I had to be honest, the sensation of my fist colliding with her cheek was not pleasant at all. Even though she yelped and teared up because of the pain, something just wasn't right about me hitting this woman.

What could it be?

Perhaps I'm more chivalrous than I thought, being a Goblin Lord and all, but I doubt that's the case. We _do_ have our sadistic tendencies and, although we restrain ourselves at times, we're hardly the definition of chivalrous. In fact, I'd go so far as to call us ordinary in the way we treat our women, so it can't be me being pedantic about hitting a woman.

Then what is it?

I frowned, watching as the woman raised her head once more so, to occupy myself while I'm trying to figure out why I feel dissatisfied, I grabbed the dagger she had dropped next to her and gently sliced her flesh some more, my eyes lighting up as the crimson liquid poured forth from the source.

Well, I say I was gentle, but I was feeling rather mad about my strange feeling, so the cut was deep, probably deep enough to leave a scar if this woman survives long enough for her body to heal.

"The colour of your blood is unsatisfying. Are you aware of this ailment?" I muttered, rubbing some blood between my finger and thumb before sighing, wiping it off on my thigh.

This isn't as exciting as I thought it would be. Humiliating this woman, hurting her and her feelings…none of it is satisfying at all. One would think it would be, especially when you're a Goblin Lord, but I guess everyone has their preferences.

It turns out mine errs on the sexual side of things and there's nothing wrong with that. Procreation is a goblin's favourite thing to do, after all. Is it fun when the woman has the potential to fight back, though? Probably not, so I should make sure she can't fight me when I want to do the deed.

"I'll apologize in advance, young lady, but you're going to be hurting some more."

With that said, she tried her hardest to hold back her screams as I pummelled her with my fists. Because I knew women were conscious of their looks, I purposefully avoided her face, being lenient this one time, but targeted other areas instead, like her stomach and chest.

Every strike irritated her cuts more and more, forcing her to bleed even more than she had been, and this resulted in the blood getting all over my knuckles. In fact, the stinging sensation would suggest I had torn the flesh on them, the blood being my own, but I wasn't too sure as I couldn't distinguish my blood from hers.

To make matters more interesting, as I was feeling somewhat bored with simply striking her with my fists, I decided to wrap both of my hands around her throat and give it a little squeeze.

But it wasn't satisfying. As punching her wasn't satisfying, why did I think choking her would? Sure, she _is_ struggling to breath and is holding onto my wrists, trying to pry my hands off her, but it's just not stimulating enough to be exciting.

Perhaps I'm into the more…hardcore stuff. Sure, every goblin is into sex, but are they all into mutilation?

I'd say no, but it should be fine if I experiment on this girl in front of me to discover what exactly it is that makes me excited.

"Let's see," I muttered to myself as I held the dagger the woman had dropped during her fall in both hands, my eyes tracing the girl's body until I discovered her clean, pale fingers. "Shall I play with your fingers?" A grin spread wide across my face, enough to make even me feel repulsive, but I didn't mind.

These were the feelings I was searching for. The self-loathing, the disgust, the gratitude towards the gods for granting me this splendid opportunity… This is all I've wanted.

So, as I forcibly closed the girl's fist, keeping only the small finger unfurled, I couldn't help but hum a sweet tune to myself. To make sure the girl couldn't pull her hand away, I sat on her arm and brandished my dagger in one hand, shooting it a loving glance.

…Oh, what might this be? There's blood soaking my hand. While I usually wouldn't mind, this time I feel quite sickened by the dark liquid on my skin.

I quickly rubbed my hand on my thigh, feeling the blood seep into the flesh there, but my hand was still red. I rubbed it against the other thigh, a frown forming on my face, and sighed as it was still red.

Has the blood seriously stained my skin? I'll need to wash it out later, but for now, I should ignore it.

But I can't. Along with the vision of the blood came a feeling of guilt and anger, which is strange considering I should not feel this way. I mean, why would I, a goblin, feel guilty about harming this woman? To any ordinary goblin, she's just livestock that would probably be dead or impregnated by now, but to me, she was an asset that was required to start my legacy.

…I see. That's why I'm being reluctant. I'm fearing something apprehensive may occur if I go too far with harming her. It's also because I'm thinking of her as someone valuable to me. But that wasn't enough to convince me as those feelings were much stronger than that, as those feelings were enough to convince me to not harm the girl any further than I had.

It just doesn't make sense, though. If I accidentally kill her, I could always gather more women. There was the rest of her group above the surface and as only two of them are fighters, it should be easy to overpower them and take all of them for myself. So why? Why don't I want to hurt this woman?

I let go of her hand and backed away from her, my teeth grit as I clenched my free hand.

This doesn't make sense. This just doesn't make any sense. Why the fuck am I so attached to this stupid woman? Why? How? None of it makes sense. I _am_ the one and only Goblin Lord, aren't I? I'm not some pathetic goblin that had created connections with this stupid woman because I was fragile and afraid, am I?

I could feel my anger rise, but I tried my best to suppress it. I would harm _her_ if I got to angry, after all, and I had to avoid that at all costs.

No, no, that isn't right. I don't care about her. I don't _want_ to care about her. I shouldn't care about her, yet I do, and that isn't right. Nothing about this whole situation is right. Nothing that has occurred in this life has been right.

I threw the dagger away and held my head in both hands as I suppressed the baseless scream that would have escaped me.

My breathing was laboured, my teeth bared, but I didn't care.

I was angry. I was furious.

I just wanted these stupid sentiments to go away and leave me alone.

How though? How will I do that? There aren't any efficient ways I know of that won't involve killing myself.

A weary grin spread across my face as a tired chuckle escaped me.

There's only one way. There's only _that_ method. It was the method of an insane man, but did that really matter to someone like me? No, it doesn't. It seriously doesn't.

I dropped to my knees, rearing my head back, and roared as I bent forward with as much strength as I could.

The next moment was filled with an intense dizziness and burning pain, but it wasn't enough. I still felt guilty. I still felt apprehensive and disgusted. I still felt like a _monster_.

I pulled my head back again and, with a scream that threatened to break my vocal chords, bashed my head against the ground once more.

I still wasn't done, though. Despite the blood that was running down my face and getting in my eyes and, despite the darkening of my vision, I wasn't done. I'll never be done. Not until I fix myself and not until I purge that humane part of me that is a hindrance to my existence.

I'm the Goblin Lord, after all, and who says we must be at least a little bit human?

The third strike threw me into a spiral of darkness.


	19. Forgotten (1)

My eyes snapped open as something inside of me changed.

Staring up at a canopy of leaves, the light filtering through the gaps in the foliage, I took a moment to breath and calm myself. I was confused, after all, as this was unexpected. Completely unexpected.

What the hell was I doing lying on the grass in the forest with no recollection of what had led up to this occurring? It simply didn't make sense to me.

Ok, let's take a moment to calm down.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Close your eyes, now open them.

So, to start this off, where was I last?

…Hmm, this might be harder than I thought it would be.

Ah, that's right. I was following Knight through the forest to kill some goblins. We found their nest and went in it, but we couldn't find anything…

I found myself sitting upright as my eyes went wide.

Where's Knight? Has something happened to her? Is she safe?

Instead of jumping to my feet and rushing around like some people would, I sat still for a moment with a furrowed brow as I thought about my circumstances, but nothing came to mind. There was a simple, blank void where my thoughts should be. There was literally nothing.

Should I feel concerned about all this? I certainly don't seem to be, which is strange considering the situation, but that must mean everything went as planned.

Yeah, that's right. If I'm not worried or sad or depressed or scared or concerned, nothing went wrong and Knight is okay. That means there is no need for me to be wasting my time sitting here, thinking about everything that could have happened, when I can figure out why I'm missing some memories.

Well, as far as I know, it'd have to be a result of head trauma, but feeling every part of my bald skull revealed nothing, not even a scratch. There were no dents, either, meaning it mustn't have been a blow to the head, so perhaps it was magic?

But I haven't seen even the slightest bit of magic yet, meaning it may not even exist. Sure, I'm being stupidly sceptical considering my own personal experience with being reincarnated by a goddess and all that, but this is what happens when your dreams are crushed as a child.

I'm getting a bit off track here but, as I know nothing about anything anymore, there's no point in waiting around hoping something will happen. That's why I slowly pushed myself to my feet, fighting off a wave of dizziness, to inspect my surroundings, just in case there was danger nearby.

However, as far as I could see, there was nothing but trees around me, the spaces between them considerably wide. I tilted my head to the side, my brow furrowed, and took one step forward, my foot landing on something hard and cold.

Looking at the ground revealed a long, bloodied and dirtied sword, one that felt awfully familiar. Was this Knight's sword, or did it belong to someone else? Either answer would make me feel anxious, so I didn't even think about the possibilities behind the weapon's origin, but that didn't mean I was hesitant to hold it.

Was that why I was already holding it, the leather hilt feeling comfortable in my small hands? Perhaps it did, but it felt strangely reassuring to be holding the weapon, almost as if it was an object my life was depending on to survive.

…But what do I do now? Waking up in the forest, a giant gap in my memory yet no fear or confusion in my heart, there wasn't much I _could_ do. I was able to aimlessly walk around, but it's not like that's going to help me much, especially in a situation like this.

Walking forward revealed a point where I could see the open sky between the long branches of the trees, so I took a moment to figure out the time and the direction I needed to travel in. I mean, the trio were supposed to be travelling west, right? If I manage to figure out if the sun is rising or setting, depending on if this world follows the same principles of earth, I'll be able to deduce what the western direction is and hopefully rendezvous with them before anything bad happens.

"This isn't good…" I muttered to myself as I quickly averted my eyes, the sun sitting in the middle of an azure canvas.

With my plans immediately foiled, what was I to do, other than to sit and wait for dusk?

* * *

It turns out I had fallen asleep without noticing it. It was night time now, sure, but shouldn't I be worried about passing out without my definitive consent? I don't even remember how it happened. I think I was sitting still with my eyes closed, enjoying the warmth of the sun on my skin, and if I was, that would explain how I had fallen asleep.

But…I was under the tree again, my back pressed up against the trunk. The sword was on my lap, the metal glowing in the moonlight and my heart was twisted, its pain contorting my face into an ugly expression.

It wasn't physical pain, of course, it was…emotional. For some reason that was unknown to me, I simply felt a heavy weight on my chest, almost as if I had done something wrong. But I haven't, right? I couldn't have possibly done anything wrong, right?

Without anyone to reassure me, I would be left alone to wallow in despair's lasting embrace. Such is the way of life, isn't it? Thinking you've done bad things, not knowing if you've done those bad things, and then believing it's all your fault, regardless of the outcome.

It reminds me of a time in my previous life, but the memories surrounding the event are too fuzzy to remember.

Just what is it I've done to feel this way?

Swinging my head back and staring up at the moon through the gaps in the leaves, a disheartening sigh left my mouth as my eyelids became heavy.

I was tired. I was tired of being here. Not in this forest, but in this world. I know it's come out of the blue, but, for some reason, I truly felt as if everything was worthless. That included me, of course, and didn't stop for anyone, not even Knight, so I wasn't surprised to know the act of suicide was something I had started to consider.

But…suicide is the coward's way out, right? For a loser like me that is unable to do anything before someone gets hurt, though, it was a suitable end… So, how would I go about it? Harakiri is out of the question as I had no honour to speak of, yet the only methods I could think of involved this sword and my stomach.

Ugh, I was just another person to feed its bloodlust, so did it really matter how I died if it was the sword that ended my life?

My eyes traced the form of the blade as I swallowed a lump in my throat.

…Was I really going to do this? To kill myself is to kill the concept of my existence, so am I prepared to face the void? Was I ready to forsake my companions? Am I going to end everything and let the future run its course?

Am I going to let the future I had sworn to change end the lives of my companions?

I slowly pushed myself to my feet, my body feeling weak as I began to drag the sword behind me with both hands.

I wanted to leave this forest. I seriously wanted to escape the lush greenery and find a better place. Was it a place I would deem the final resting place for my weary body? Or would it be somewhere I could forget about everything and become a shell of my former self?

Who knows the answer to that? All I know is that I must travel west to the future and, if the moon is to my right, my destiny is to my left.

* * *

I don't know how long it had taken, but I had eventually found a road. There was no one on it, with nothing visible for miles, so I felt disappointed as I had expected my companions to be waiting for me.

They had camped near a road, after all, and this area looks familiar, so who can say I can't be somewhat hopeful? Although it was a foolish thought, especially when I considered the fact I was literally missing a huge gap in my memory, it served to remind me of those I must protect, especially now that Knight is assumed to have no weapon.

A twinge of guilt touched my heart, but I pressed on, ignoring the fleeting feeling, and stared up into the sky as I walked, once again admiring the duality of the moons and the distant stars that surrounded them.

And I suddenly felt small. Not in a physical sense, but in a universal sense. It was a difficult sensation to describe, but I had felt it many times in the past when gazing up at the darkness, observing each flickering dot and shining star, contemplating the validity of my existence despite my lack of impact on the world and meaning to anything beyond my friends and family.

This time, though, I was all alone. I had no friends to speak of as the trio were currently acquaintances I was unable to speak to and I certainly had no family to speak of, not that I ever considered those filthy goblins to be my family in any way, shape or form.

One could say my birth mother was a part of my family, even though she is deceased, but I am not considering her a family member because of her death and the circumstances surrounding it.

All this talk about family and friends has left a sour taste in my mouth and a bitter frown on my face, though, so I should stop thinking about it. However, there was one good thing it reminded me of. It reminded me of that pathetic goddess who had brought me to this world on a whim, simply because she wanted someone to be her loyal dog, and it's her own lack of thoughtfulness and planning that led to me rejecting her.

With that said, I'm assuming she thinks most of her believers would have accepted her offer without rhyme or reason, but she obviously didn't consider the fact she brought someone from a world that has different religions, not that I would have accepted Hachiman's offer if he was in that goddess' position instead.

She also didn't consider I would have turned my back on her. That was why she was surprised when I outright objected to assisting her with whatever it is she's planning.

My frown deepened as my eyes narrowed.

I could feel my rage grow just by thinking about that goddess, which wasn't good, so I should calm down and avoid thinking about her. Because she's a god, she probably knows I'm thinking of her, too, which is bad for me as she might think I'm regretting rejecting her and that's the last thing I want as I don't want her to be acting all high and mighty when I inevitably meet her again.

My grip on the sword's hilt tightened twofold.

This wasn't working. No matter how I go about it, I can't avoid acknowledging that goddess' existence as it's the only thing I can do to pass the time.

Thus, I wish there was something to take my rage out on, something I could cut up with this sword just because I could. I wish there was some human dumb enough to walk through the forest at night who has been ambushed by wolves or monsters or maybe even goblins, so I can slaughter all beings in the area to alleviate my anger.

No, wait, that doesn't sound quite right. I had chosen my words poorly so, to avoid a misunderstanding, I should reword what I had said, not that it would matter as no one can read my mind.

A sigh left me as I stopped in my tracks.

I'm getting caught up on this stupid mental stuff that shouldn't really mean anything. I accidentally said I would kill the humans, but that doesn't mean I _should_. It means I should help them out and then run away before they can help me or, if they're stupid enough, try to kill me.

…I wonder if normal people would try to kill me if they randomly came across me. I'd understand why, though, but I obviously wouldn't let them do it, not when there are things I need to do.

Right now, my top priority is finding the trio and I mustn't let anything get in my way, however, as I continued moving, I couldn't help but tilt my head to the side as a sweet, metallic scent reached my nose.

"Blood?" I muttered to myself with furrowed brows, thinking an attack really _did_ happen as per my wishes.

The very distant, distressed cries of an individual confirmed my feelings, so I picked up the pace and ran as fast as I could with the sword cutting into the ground as I moved.

* * *

 **This memory loss is based off science as this story is aiming to be as realistic as possible, so don't expect people to not suffer severe head injuries when they forcefully bash their head against the hard ground multiple times. Also, Hachiman was originally a Shinto god of agriculture, which I thought was a good comparison to the "Earth" Mother.**


	20. Defense (2)

There were multiple torches discarded on the ground, their owners lying on the floor with various parts of their bodies missing. Some were missing hands, arms, maybe even a leg or two, and were currently dead. One had even been decapitated and another had been split in half at the waist.

Who was responsible for this? There were a few figures standing around, doing various things to the deceased such as stabbing them, all with weapons in their hands. The thing is, they weren't monsters as one would expect, at least not in a physical sense. They were human, with all of them being big, burly men that could easily body slam me into oblivion.

It was obvious they were bandits, though, as they were currently ransacking an overturned carriage, so it shouldn't be a problem if I kill them, assuming I'm strong enough to do so. But how many are there? I can currently see four of them, but there may be more hidden in the forest or the carriage.

More importantly, where was the screaming coming from? Now that I was closer, I could tell it was a kid that was screaming, but I wasn't able to figure out their gender, meaning they were probably young. I sincerely hoped it wasn't a girl as I've read enough fiction to know what bandits generally do to the females they capture. The fact the hostage was a kid would make that fate much worse than it needed to be.

A frown marred my face as I was struck by a revelation that was too real it almost seemed fake to me.

These bandits, they're just like goblins with the way they live. The major difference between the two is that the bandits don't need to kill and steal to live. They could simply work hard on a farm and live an honest life, but the fact they've resorted to killing others is disgusting.

Where the goblins are required to pillage and rape to reproduce and feed themselves, the bandits do it as a past time or for a living because they can. Who cares if they were former farmers whose crops have failed? Who cares if their lord is pushing heavy taxes on them? If they simply tried to help themselves, tried to ask others for assistance, they wouldn't need to do these things.

But the fact they willingly do them make them no better than monsters.

Indeed. These bandits, these people that call themselves humans, are no better than the goblins that have destroyed many villages and lives. These bandits are no better than the goblins that had forced my hand and these bandits are certainly not worthy of the life they had been given.

So, knowing that, it's okay if I kill them, right? Even though I've made many assumptions regarding their circumstances, it's okay if I spill their blood with this blade because they're lumps of trash, right?

…Yes, it should be fine. They have no morals, unlike me, so it _is_ fine to slaughter them. Do I care if they call me a monster? Do I care if they fight back and beg for mercy? Do I care if they have a family?

No, I do not, as these people have forsaken their right to live by slaughtering these people that lay before me.

So I narrowed my eyes and brandished my blade, knowing what I was about to do. I was prepared, though, so nothing could stop me in my tracks, lest I lose my courage and become a coward once more.

Without the cries I would emit when enraged, I charged into the tranquil murder scene.

The first bandit turned around as I neared him, hearing my footsteps, but he was too slow to react to the slash that severed a hand and dug into his side. He screamed out in pain, alerting the others as blood spray onto my face and, as they gathered around me in an encirclement, I pulled the blade out of him. He staggered back a few steps, nursing his stump, before he fell over, limp.

I glanced around me, three men pointing various weapons at me with anger and fear in their eyes, before a slow, husky growl escaped me.

"Is that a goblin?" One asked, his hands wrapped around the handle of a mere axe.

"It looks like it," Another spoke, a short sword held in both hands.

"He looks pretty big for a goblin." The third spoke up, a garden scythe protecting his midsection.

And then I realised something. Just as these men have been saying, I was taller than I remember being. Where I used to be up to Knight's waist, I would probably be halfway to her breasts now as I was staring straight at the abs of one of the men, meaning I have grown a good ten or so centimetres.

But how? This simply shouldn't be possible. People don't just grow that much in a small timeframe, but who knows how long it's been since I last stored memories in my mind? As far as I know, it might have been weeks or months, which is alarming, but there's simply no way of telling.

"Either way, we need to kill him. He's a monster that's already hurt one of us!" And with that, the first one stepped forward and delivered an overwhelming blow from above that was both quick and powerful. To avoid being injured, I stepped to the side, but the long swipe of the scythe forced me to reconsider the direction I had taken as it was deigned to dig into my side.

But where was the sword? Diving forward proved to be useful as a sharp edge dug a shallow line into my back before I had reached the ground, drawing out my blood and anger.

I must remain calm, though, lest I become a despicable monster, so a quick exhale as I pushed myself to my feet was enough to stabilise my heart. Following this, I dashed forward past the recovering axeman and the weary scythe user towards the forest where the playing field would be more even. The trees were a little tighter here than where I had woken up, so I should be able to fight one at a time if I was smart.

It seems as if they predicted this, though, as they did not chase me. Chancing a glance over my shoulder while I ran revealed this, but I wasn't too disappointed. In fact, I was somewhat relieved as I would probably die if I faced all three of them at once a second time, proving these foes were much stronger and smarter than goblins despite being worse than them.

They were at least compassionate to their own brethren, though, as the one with the scythe began to wrap up the stump I had created with some cloth he had torn from a corpse's shirt, the axeman applying pressure to the gaping cut in the torso with a concerned gaze. The swordsman was protecting all three, staring in my direction with his blade poised.

A wide grin spread across my face as this was the perfect opportunity for me.

Although it would be a war crime in my original world to attack medical staff on a battlefield, those rules didn't apply to this one, especially when my enemies were scum and worse than dirt, so there was nothing stopping me from playing dirty.

Has anyone ever reprimanded a hunter for attacking a wounded animal? No, they haven't, so that must apply here as I am the hunter whose prey is resting to heal its wounds.

The swordsman's expression hardened as I dashed out of the forest. As I charged him head on, he readied himself to meet my blade with his own, but his eyes widened as I betrayed his expectations. Instead of aimlessly swinging my sword at him, I dodged his surprisingly slow diagonal strike by stepping into his range.

While any normal goblin would have followed up by attacking this man with their blade, I front kicked his thigh, forcing him to stand on an unsteady leg, disturbing his centre of gravity and ruining his ability to strike without falling over, and punched him in the abdomen as hard as I could. Without uttering a single sound, he fell onto both knees with one hand wrapped around his stomach, his face pale and grave. He did not try to get up.

Satisfied with my incapacitation, I rushed forward to the medical staff who were only now gathering their weapons and swung my blade towards the axeman as hard as I could, the first strike almost decapitating him as it dug deep into his neck.

Unfortunately, the sword got stuck, so I had to abandon it and wield his axe instead as his blood spray everywhere, covering not only me in blood from head to toe, but also his two companions who were too unconscious or afraid and shocked to do anything.

Naturally, I took advantage of this lapse in judgement and delivered a powerful overhead blow that split the head of the scythe user in two, followed by a stronger strike to the amputee's throat that completely decapitated him.

Meanwhile, the swordsman had barely managed to recover being winded, standing unsteadily on his feet with saliva running down his chin. He had his sword in his hands, so I quickly retrieved my own, the blade only coming free after I planted a foot against the axeman's chest.

Standing face to face, both blades poised, the swordsman gasped for air. "You're a fucking goblin," He started, the veins around his eyes popping up as he began to grit his teeth. "So how are you so strong by yourself?"

I opened my mouth to respond but quickly closed it, remembering I had no way to communicate with him, not that I was going to have a meaningful conversation. Indeed, I was only going to mock him and enrage him to the point where he attacked with reckless abandon, making him an easy target to kill. Is that not what skilled fighters do?

"You should be weak. I know that because I used to be an adventurer who killed monsters like you for a living. That was until my group ran into your kind, anyway." So that explains how he appears to be somewhat proficient with a sword. He hasn't hit me yet and has only attacked twice so I haven't been able to properly gauge his skills, but he appears to be better than the clueless goblin that was me.

"With that said, I'm gonna take this chance to make you regret what your friends did to mine!" And with that, he recklessly charged me as fast as he could. He reached me in a few seconds and swung at me with an angled blow, clearly ignoring what had happened last time, but I jumped back to dodge this time as guarding or parrying were extremely bad moves when considering the power gap that should be between us, the risk of stepping in once more too high for me to consider as this strike was considerably faster than the other.

Following the momentum of said strike, the swordsman spun around on the balls of his feet and swung his blade towards the heavens with a roar. Stepping back once more proved to be the right move as his blade was millimetres away from my flesh in the middle of my movement, but this did not give me the opportunity to counter attack as I had to hurry to dodge, forcing me off balance.

The swordsman seemed to realise this as his eyes lit up, but he was unable to take advantage of my carelessness as he was still in the motion of his upwards blow.

But this was an opportunity for me, wasn't it? If I recover quicker than him, I could put him on the defensive and force him into a corner where the only way to win was to counter attack to turn the tables. As this guy seems incapable with the blade, I don't think he'll be able to do that, so that means my victory is secured.

I planted my back foot into the ground and, with a loud cry, cut deep into his stomach, surprise consuming me as this was against my expectations. The swordsman's eyes went wide, a pained choke escaping him, before he let go of his blade, his weapon falling to the ground faster than he did.

…Is it over? Quickly glancing around confirmed there were no more foes and, apart from the man who was clinging to the innards that had spilled out of him and the crying child, there were no living beings in the area.

Doesn't that mean I've won? Doesn't that mean I've become stronger and defeated a foe on my lonesome before they could do more harm!?

Staring down at the bandit, a wide grin on my face, I felt a strange sense of accomplishment I had not felt since coming to this world. It was a strange sensation to this new me, but it was satisfying to know I've done _something_ right for once. I mean, on top of being victorious, I've made the world that little bit better. I've slaughtered some bandits who have done wrong and have presumably saved a child. What more could I ask for?

…But how many people did these bandits kill? How many husbands, fathers and sons did they murder and how many wives, sisters and daughters did they defile, if at all? How many things did they steal and how many people who were begging for their lives suffer?

Even though I did something in the end, I couldn't help but feel annoyed at myself for not arriving earlier. If I was just a little faster, I would have reached the scene before anyone died, but I didn't know this was going to happen. That means there's no reason to feel guilty about not being able to save the people the bandits had killed. Sure, I had to kill some humans in the end to avenge those people, but the bandits were inherently evil the moment they committed a crime, so there's no problem there.

In fact, I felt good when killing them. I felt my heart flutter as their blood soaked me head to toe and I felt my knees weaken as their skin paled. There was something _arousing_ about the whole thing. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but the fact it was sexually stimulating was a pleasant companion that had guided me to the end of the conflict.

I could tell that feeling wasn't right, though. I could tell it was a devilish line of thought that a psychopath would have, and I could tell it was the work of the goblin inside of me.

Suddenly, the world began to spin. I started to feel sick and I couldn't tell which way was up or down and I certainly couldn't walk straight. I also couldn't control my own feet, which led to me falling to the side and, following the lack of pain I should have felt when hitting the ground, unpleasant thoughts invaded my mind like an efficient parasite.

This isn't right. I wasn't supposed to feel good when killing humans. I _shouldn't_ kill humans, as I was meant to kill goblins, but I did it anyway and it felt good. Killing goblins is what I want to do, though, it's what I _must_ do, but at the same time, I want to feel good. I want to acknowledge the feelings that are blooming inside of me as it's the natural thing to do. Killing humans hasn't always felt good, though, so I couldn't help but feel as if I must die for feeling this way.

I mean, it didn't feel good to kill my birth mother, nor did it feel good to end a little girl's life after she had been deflowered and defiled by a goblin, so why is it only now feeling good? Is it because they're men? That couldn't possibly be the case, but if it was, that was ridiculous but understandable.

A shallow laugh escaped me as I rolled onto my back.

I didn't ask for these half-assed feelings. I didn't ask for anything, so why? Why do I suddenly feel this way? I thought I had brutalised that goblin so much so that I was almost human. So why? Why is the scent of their blood sweet and mouth-watering and why is the act of murder pleasurable?

Come to think of it, this is the first time I've willinglykilled a human that was beyond saving. Is that why the act of murder felt good? Even if I tried to hide it under the mask of justice, perhaps I simply wanted to do it because I instinctually knew what it would feel like.

…Yeah, that's probably it. I haven't killed that goblin yet, so of course some things are going to come out of it. I can't help it. It's not my fault. That goblin wanted to feel something good, so he twisted and warped my senses to make me act in an unsightly manner. There's nothing I can do about it, either, as he's stronger than me, so I should ignore what I've done and felt and carry on with what it is I need to do.

There's nothing I can do but move forward, after all, so I forced myself to endure the nausea and dizziness as I slowly pushed myself to my feet.

There was no time to be wasting as there are people I must find and things I must do.

* * *

 **According to Wikipedia, I've hit the average word count for light novels (around fifty thousand). I don't know if it's meaning kanji or English, but it's a big milestone regardless. Let's celebrate both that and the release of the twentieth chapter, which is also a big milestone!**

 **Thank you to all that are reading this story! I'm counting on your support in the future!**


	21. Aid (1)

The carriage, the overturned vehicle where there were still loud cries, was the place I had slowly made my way to. There were no horses, which made sense as they would have run away if given the chance, and there were no living men or women lying on the ground.

How many people had there been? Too many to count, obviously, as the sight of their strewed about corpses was enough to make anyone sick, including me, but that wasn't enough to stop me in my tracks. In fact, I had become more determined to quickly grab the kid and get out of the area before I must deal with more problems.

The situation was a little difficult, though.

As I came to the rear end, I slowly peeked inside, noticing a bunch of large, heavy looking wooden crates that were reinforced by metal lining blocking my way. The crying was louder now, proving it was coming from inside, so I quickly climbed on top of a crate to observe what was on the other side, very little room between my lowered body and the ceiling, but I wasn't expecting the scene that was laid out before me.

Lying in a back corner, pinned against what was a wall with a large crate on their left leg, was a young boy of about twelve. He had hair that was dark as a clouded night sky and large, golden eyes that were red from tears. His skin was light, but not a deathly pale, and he wore a navy tunic with long, brown trousers and an ankle-high boot of fabric on the one foot I could see. There was blood slowly pooling around the part of his leg that wasn't crushed so, with wide eyes, I quickly dropped down from my perch to help him.

That proved to be the wrong move as he struggled as soon as he saw me, a monster, and only hurt himself more as his crying turned to screaming. He must have done something, trying to back away from me like an idiot, but who wouldn't when confronted by a goblin in a similar position?

Nevertheless, I ignored his screaming and struggling and dropped my sword to the ground to show I meant no harm, the clattering having frightened the boy as he closed his eyes with a tense body. I merely sighed in response and turned my back to him, attempting to get a grip on the crate to lift it.

It was heavier than I expected as I was unable to lift it by even a centimetre, every muscle in my body screaming as I tried my hardest to lift the damn thing.

What the hell was even in this crate!?

Observing it revealed nothing, other than the fact the lid was pressed up against the wall, so I couldn't help but frown as I began to feel anxious. It was for a good reason too as I began to suspect an amputation might be the only way to save the kid.

That was a last resort, though, as I would not want this kid to suffer that kind of pain for the rest of his life if he didn't have to.

What should I do, then? I can't lift the crate and I can't open it, so what else can I do to move the crate? I glanced down at my sword, swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat, before I slowly crouched down.

I wrapped one hand around its hilt and lift it into the air before I glanced at the kid, whose eyes were now wide with fear. "No!" He screamed, trying his hardest to pull his leg out from under the crate with tears freely flowing. "Save me, father!"

There was a pang in my heart as I felt my muscles tighten all at once.

This boy, he doesn't know his father is dead, does he? Even though he's trapped in here, he should've been able to hear the screaming of those that had died, so it made no sense for him to be acting this way.

He could just be desperate, though, and is denying the harsh reality that there is no one to save him, holding onto the sliver of hope that some human will come along and kill the goblin that is going to end his life.

I clicked my tongue and tossed my sword on top of a box before I scaled the same one, my teeth grit as I was determined to avoid harming this boy. I raised the sword as high as I could, angling it down towards the side of the crate, and thrust as hard as I could, my shoulders receiving a sharp jolt of pain as the blade failed to pierce the wood.

But that wasn't going to deter me. The pain my shoulders received was nothing compared to what this boy was currently feeling, and this was my drive to try harder, my drive to become stronger and faster.

I raised the sword once more and, with a quiet exhale of air, managed to sink the tip into the wood. From here, I wiggled the blade about, scraping and slicing at the wood, until the inside of the crate was visible.

All I needed to do now was break a large chunk of wood off the crate, so I can properly see inside of it and know what it is I need to move.

It didn't take too long for that happen, but there was a slight chip at the tip of the blade from doing this. I wasn't disappointed or sad as I expected this would happen, but that didn't mean I wasn't annoyed.

Regardless, the crate was full of a light, shining metal that was reminiscent of steel. In fact, it probably _was_ steel, but it didn't matter what kind of metal it was as it was evidently heavy.

…This was going to be tough. If I wanted to save the boy's leg, I was going to need to spend a considerable amount of time tossing metal aside to maybe lift the crate up. Even then, his leg would be all mangled and destroyed because it had been crushed, meaning he wouldn't be able to walk on it anyway.

I eyed my sword with grit teeth before I shook my head.

There's no need for that. I've already told myself that. We're not in immediate danger, so there's no need to be hasty and do things I'll regret. I've come this far, anyway, so I might as well follow through.

I stuck an arm into the crate and lift the first piece up. I tossed it to the side without any thoughts.

This was the same for each consecutive piece and, around the twentieth piece, my arm was getting tired. I'd only dug about one sixth of the way down and I had to switch hands, meaning it was going to be difficult to empty it.

The crate was considerably deep, too, meaning I'd have to jump in at some stage. To do that, I'd need to create an even bigger hole in the crate. Should I do that now?

No, it wasn't a good idea to be hasty. I might snap the sword in half if I was careless and I _will_ be needing it in the future, so I really couldn't make a stupid decision.

Ah, but the bandits had some useful stuff, didn't they? One of them had an axe and the adventurer had a sword, so I could use those.

Rather, I could cut into the crate with the axe and create an opening on the side. This would give me the opportunity to discard the metal en masse and free the boy.

So I did just that.

Ignoring the fact that I had completely discarded my deceased enemies until I had to rely on them, I had retrieved the axe and returned to the carriage, holding it out to my side as if I was a lumberjack.

And then the axe had collided with the wood, chips of the box flying in every direction possible as the axe lodged itself into the thing. A few pulls later and it had come out, but it was a rather strenuous task that required all my strength. Nevertheless, there was a slit in the box that revealed the contents, so I was satisfied with my work, but it wasn't done yet. I needed to do this several more times until the box is split open, but that's going to kill me in a metaphorical sense.

Even if I do manage to free the boy, I won't have any energy to do anything afterwards.

But this isn't about me. This is about him. His future is on the line here, after all, and if I were to put this into options I can understand easily, he's going to join the party or be a burden depending on what I do.

Well, his foot is probably crushed, anyway, but I'm being optimistic for the sake of not being a downer.

The axe struck the box once more, this time slightly lower than the previous strike.

I sighed and frowned and pulled the axe out once more and tried again.

I missed, though, angering me ever so slightly, but that was ok. All I needed to do was continue trying.

But how many attempts did it take to even create a decently sized hole? It had to have been about twenty-five. My muscles were screaming at me to stop, as they would be with most people, but with grit teeth, I pushed on through the pain without reconsidering my options.

I've come this far, anyway, so there's no point in stopping now. All I need to do is throw the metal away, lift the box up and save the boy, so it's safe to say the hard part is over.

Yeah, I'm nearly finished. That much is true, so I can't sit down and give up just yet.

With that said, it almost seemed as if throwing a large quantity of metal away would be easy. I'm just going to say it certainly wasn't and that it took me longer than I wanted it to, but hey, at least I did it, and now I can save the boy.

I climbed onto the crate, quickly scurrying over to where the boy is, and prepared to lift the crate before I noticed something.

The boy was…just laying there with open eyes. They weren't glazed over, meaning he hadn't quite died yet, but he must be close. Glancing down at the puddle of blood I've been standing in suggests that he's basically dead, so I've gotta hurry and give him some first aid before he passes away.

Using the tips of my fingers, I managed to lift the box up ever so slightly, and from there, I shoved my hands underneath it and heaved it up with a grunt.

Even though it was a risky manoeuvre, I forced my body to endure the weight of the box by slowly forcing myself under it. From there, I had to resist the urge to gag as the sight of the boy's leg was something I wanted to erase from my mind.

Twisted to the side at an awkward angle, a cracked bone sticking out of the flesh with all the muscles and meat visible and looking severely deflated, his foot was probably better off being amputated. No amount of medicine would save it when it's messed up that badly.

Nevertheless, I must fix him before he dies but, as he's already lost a large amount of blood, I'm not able to do anything too risky. That means I can't injure him further.

His bone is sticking out of him, though, and if I don't push it back in, he'll get a bad infection and die.

After moments of deliberation, I gently and slowly crouched down to move the boy's leg to the side with my hands, the box still threatening to crush me. Once I was sure he wasn't in danger of being hurt again, I lift the box up with my body, planted my hands against the wood, and gave it a powerful push before I jumped out from underneath it.

It crashed to the ground, rocking the carriage ever so slightly, the pressure on the back of my ankles indicating the box was too close for comfort. I shook my head to dispel the bad thoughts this had conjured.

Following this, I quickly left the carriage and approached a body that appeared to be relatively clean, my hands easily tearing the clothes off them. I quickly separated the bloodied bits of cloth from the clean bits by tearing the cloth further and returned to the carriage once I was satisfied.

With a deep breath, I gently pushed against the exposed bone with two fingers, watching as it moved, to test the waters.

From what I've observed, I could put the bone back into place, but it wouldn't be perfect and would be uncomfortable for the kid. It's the only thing I could currently do, though, so I had no choice.

With that said, I pushed the bone back into the flesh, half-heartedly attempting to get the positioning perfect in as short a time as possible, before I used the decent amount of cloth I had gathered as a bandage.

I wrapped it tightly around the torn flesh, making sure to apply as much pressure as possible without severing the blood flow, and tied the ends off in a knot that almost seemed impossible to undo.

Stepping away from my handiwork, the only thing I could do was nod as there was nothing to be said.

* * *

 **Delays were caused by matters that are more important than this. My apologies. And yes, I too think this is my weakest chapter.**


	22. Interlude: Moonlit Twain

The moonlight was shining upon them.

With its gentle embrace and cold touch, it instilled a feeling of loneliness in their hearts, and the flittering of the shadows in the darkness brought forth the paranoia that had been devouring their sanity with each passing day. At any moment, they _knew_ their enemies would spring forth from the darkness with their blades, eyes wide and manic as they took no effort to restrain their lust, and it terrified them to the point they were unable to sleep.

They were a group of women, after all, all naked and afraid in the wild with two exhausted adventurers to protect them. None of them knew how to fight, let alone how to deal with their mental scars, so who in their right mind would expect them to do anything in this situation?

The fighter, with dark bags under her eyes, calmly watched the forest as she shrugged her shoulders to reposition the woman on her back. At a moment's notice, she was ready to strike out with her tense body to protect the group, but she knew she wouldn't be able to protect all of them.

And she accepted this as a fact that can't be changed. If it wasn't for the goblin Knight was too trusting of, she felt as if she'd be able to protect all of them, but what's happened has happened. There was simply no changing the past, no matter how hard she wished to, so she must hold her head high and march forth with no heavy feelings restraining her heart, just as her father had taught her many years ago.

The smallest smile appeared on her face as she recalled the greatest moments of her childhood, but she didn't let herself become lost in the memories as she knew her exhaustion would catch up to her if she did.

The fighter knew that that was the case for everyone else, too, so she couldn't help but find the twisted humour in thoughts that involved her collapsing before anyone else did. Even though she was carrying a person on her back, she couldn't fall first, not when she had the mental strength to spare, as she would feel disgusted with herself for betraying the expectations of her companions.

She glanced at the women behind her, noticing the mage's awkward pacing, before she bit her lip and sighed. "I think it's about time we take a break and rest," She half whispered, the emptiness and silence of the forest amplifying her voice to an acceptable level.

As the fighter turned around to face the group, having been the leader the whole time, no one made any sounds to acknowledge her words. They simple stopped in place, staring absentmindedly at the space in front of them, almost as if they were stolen by an illusion that had overwritten their reality.

The fighter was accustomed to such a sight, though, so she guided the group off the narrow road and into the trees before she gently knelt on the grass. "Help me for a short moment," Was all she needed to say for the cloaked appearance of her friend to appear in front of her, the wooden staff of the mage falling to the ground as she quickly helped to lift the person off the fighter's back.

The body was then gently placed on the grass by both adventurers before they took one step back to offer the person some space.

"She's like a doll…" The fighter muttered before falling to her knees once more, one hand reaching out to caress a pale cheek that was cold to the touch.

"…She's not dead yet." Was all the mage could whisper in response as she bent down to retrieve her staff.

"I know." The mage shot the fighter a sidewards stare as she wrapped one hand around her staff, the fighter returning her gaze.

"Then why did you make us stop? We should continue until we reach town." A quiet, empty chuckle escaped the fighter's lips as the mage held the staff close to her chest, the mage's back as straight as it could possibly be as she staved off the urge to collapse.

"Your knees are trembling, so sit down and be quiet." The mage pursed her lips and sighed before she gently lowered herself to the ground.

"I didn't think you'd be able to tell, not when I'm wearing this cloak." The fighter glanced at the mage, her mouth opening to say something before she snapped it shut. There was a moment of silence before she turned her head to stare at the women behind them.

"It's not just you I have to be mindful of. We've chosen to protect these people and I've no intention of leaving them behind." The mage continued looking forward as she responded.

"I know you're of that disposition, but it wouldn't do us any harm if we left them behind. The life of a friend is inherently more valuable than the lives of those women who have nothing left in this world."

"…Why would you say such a thing?" The fighter muttered, struggling to restrain the venom she would usually be spitting if the situation wasn't so dire.

"We both know she's not going to last much longer if we don't find a temple that worships the Earth Mother."

"You think I don't know that?" Was the irate response the fighter gave, fights tightly curled up in her lap as the mage started to fiddle with her staff.

"…I know you know." The mage responded moments later, her hands now still as the fighter lowered her head.

And then there was another moment of silence, except this moment became a minute, and then two minutes, and then five as nothing else was said between them. The fighter didn't trust herself to say anything, after all, as she knew she'd say something she'd regret, so she kept her mouth shut like a responsible adult and tried her best to ignore the person next to her.

But she couldn't. No matter how hard she tried, the sensation on the tip of her tongue was begging her to say anything to properly end the conversation, even if there was nothing else to say. As far as she knew, the mage had covered nearly everything they could discuss anyway as neither were fond of small talk, so she was truly stumped.

In the end, it was the mage who spoke again, this time her voice strained and weary.

"I know I'm being a pessimist when I say this, but her chances are slim no matter what we do." The fighter didn't even acknowledge her companions' words as she remained still, her breathing slow and rhythmic. It was almost as if she had fallen asleep in an instant, but the mage quickly leaning forward to observe her companion's face revealed a pair of narrowed, fiery azure eyes that were seemingly full of tears.

The mage, who made an 'o' shape with her mouth upon seeing such a dangerous sight, silently sighed as she slowly pushed herself to her feet. After what she had said, it was probably best to leave the fighter alone, lest something violent occur, so she made her way over to the group of already sleeping women and joined them, lying on a nice patch of grass a small distance away from them.

She pulled her hood over her eyes to block out the moonlight, let a deep frown consume her face, and shuddered as all the tension left her body in the most painful way imaginable. It didn't take long for the pain to fade, though, and as soon as it had completely disappeared, she felt the dregs of her mind begin to slip away as sleep started to consume her.

But one thought remained. It hadn't been swept away, continuing to be full of life despite her stagnating mind, but she didn't mind. To her, it was a comforting thought, one Knight would not agree with despite the circumstances that arose from his careless actions.

'The next time I see that goblin, he's as good as dead.'

* * *

 **Thought I'd try something different, hence the fast update and small word count. Hope this satisfies an itch some of you may have.**


	23. Journey to the West (2)

The following seventeen or so hours were tough on my body.

The kid, who I usually piggybacked, was heavy for someone of my stature and strength, so I couldn't travel very far, no matter how much I tried. That means I made little progress regarding meeting up with the trio again, so to say I was annoyed was an understatement. However, as I've already forced the responsibility of taking care of this boy on myself, there's no point in complaining and crying about it. I simply push through my complaints with him sleeping on my back, hoping he doesn't die from blood loss or being cut up by Knight's sword, the blade strapped to my back with cloth, as my body creaked and groaned and my muscles screamed.

Every time it became too much for me to continue, I set him down on the side of the road and had a break of varying lengths. Sometimes it was ten minutes, sometimes it was thirty, and sometimes it was a few hours. With each break, I would evaluate my body, and that was how I determined how long I needed to rest.

I haven't slept for a while, either, as I decided it was best to leave the carriage as soon as possible lest something nasty shows up and obliterates both of us, so I was tired. That decision was for the best, though, as our safety is our top priority, so I can't blame anything for my exhaustion, however, I _will_ blame the sun for foiling my one attempt as I quickly figured out I wouldn't be sleeping during the day as the sun pierced my eyelids.

I'll need to sleep sooner or later, though, so, while the sun is still barely up, I should find somewhere safe to rest. The trees were starting to be spread thin, so there wasn't a lot of coverage for all my flanks, but a nice spot beyond the view of the road should be fine. That way, if something or someone was to travel along that path, they shouldn't be able to sneak up on me when I'm not aware of my surroundings.

If there were wolves in this area, though, we're as good as gone as we both reek of blood, so there's nothing I can do in that regard. With that said, the boy is starting to make my legs wobble again, so I should quickly head into the forest if I don't want to collapse on the road.

And I did exactly that, almost tripping down the slightest of slopes, not because of my legs, but because of a ditch in the ground. Nevertheless, I had safely made it to somewhere decently secluded and promptly, yet gently, placed the boy down in the shade of a tree.

I, too, lay down in the grass, staring up at the darkening sky as the two moons began to grace the land with their presence.

With the boy laying at my side, Knight's sword held tightly in my hands as my muscles and bones screamed at me to avoid any further tension, I closed my eyes as the image of the waning moons burned itself into my mind.

That night, I had an uneventful rest.

* * *

On the second day's equinox, there was a hint of movement on my back. There was a quiet groan, the tightening of biceps on my shoulders, and a hitched breath that was followed by the strained swallowing of saliva.

I found this to be an indication of the boy's awakening, so I quickly veered off into the forest where the boy found it wise to push himself off my back, despite his obvious grogginess and lack of situational awareness.

He yelped as he landed on his back with a loud thud and proceeded to hold back a scream through grit teeth as he had attempted to stand and run on his broken leg. With a furrowed brow and teary eyes, he cradled his limb in his hands, seemingly having accepted the fate he thought would come, but I simply stood still, staring into his eyes with apathy written across my features.

Soon after, he relaxed his features and stared back at me, but I couldn't help but glance down at the fresh blood that had started to pour forth from my shabby bandaging. After a few moments, I finally sighed, scratching the back of my head. "Help." Is all I said, pointing at myself first and then him.

But he couldn't believe what he had heard. His mouth was agape, eyes wide, but it didn't take long for him to start laughing, a maniac expression of despair and hopelessness filling his call. He hung his head back as he laughed, one hand caressing his stomach, until he eventually calmed down, his eyes meeting mine once more.

"There's no way this can be real." He finally spoke, voice raspy and strained, tears streaming down his face as his wide eyes betrayed his calm manner of speech. "Goblins can't talk, nor do they help anyone. I must be dead!"

I shook my head in response, but I understood why he'd think he was dead. He was talking to a goblin who had saved his life, and that, as far as my knowledge currently goes, does not happen very often in this world. Therefore, to rationalise the strange sight he was seeing and living in, he could only think he was dead.

The harsh truth was that he wasn't, though, so as he narrowed his eyes, leaning forward ever so slightly, I couldn't help but gulp as I prepared to answer his next question.

"Tell me… Is my father dead? Did the bandits kill everyone?"

Even though it was cruel, I didn't hesitate and nod once, watching as his brows creased and his lips trembled almost immediately after my curt response. It was the right way to answer the question, though, as lying to him wouldn't end well, nor would it help either of us in the long run.

"That's it then. I'm dead. I'm going to die. This goblin is going to kill me and there's no one to save me." And then, almost as if his previous mania was a mere dream, he began to bawl his eyes out, his face flushing red as he tried very hard to hold in his hiccups and whimpers.

I tilted my head to the side.

What the hell am I supposed to do in this situation? I'm not ready to deal with a kid that has accepted his death and is crying his eyes out because of it. In fact, I'm not ready to deal with a lot of things, but I manage to get through them somehow, so I hope this is one of those things.

"You should just kill me already, goblin." He wailed, wiping the snot off his face with his sleeve. "If you do, we both get what we want."

I quickly shook my head, brows furrowed.

"I thought that that's what you do!"

I pointed at myself and shook my head, watching as his eyes darkened, a scowl consuming his pale face.

"So you're saying you're different, then?"

I didn't even need to nod for him to click his tongue.

"Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. You're a monster, right? You're a goblin!?"

I didn't answer. Instead, I lowered my gaze to the ground as a sigh escaped me, this situation appearing to be more than hopeless. In fact, it was so hopeless for the kid, he tried to crawl towards me to probably beg for his death.

I'm not going to kill him, though, because he still has a chance at living, so no matter how much he hates me and despises me for not slicing his throat open, he's not going to die.

With that said, I need to knock some sense into him.

"In the end, you really _are_ just a monster, aren't you?" The boy cheered as I started to approach him, his face lighting up like a child on their birthday.

But I stopped short of him and put my hands on my hips, my eyes feeling heavy as I sighed once more.

"Pathetic. You, pathetic." Is what I ended up saying to him, my pronunciation a jumbled mess of the words I had heard seconds ago. But I carried on and pushed a finger to his forehead, my long fingernail drawing blood, and repeated the words once more, watching as his expression quickly fell.

"You…! You don't understand my circumstances, so who do you think you are to call _me_ pathetic!?"

Oh, if only this kid knew what _I've_ been through. If he did, he'd quickly realise he's the pathetic one and realise that his situation isn't that bad. Maybe then, he'd stop wishing for death, but that's being a little too optimistic.

"Pathetic. Pathetic!" I continued, starting to sing the word with a nasty grin, knowing all too well I was being more than an asshole.

"Shut up! Just shut up! Leave me the hell alone!"

And then I mocked him by awkwardly repeating his sentence with the exact same intonation and level, except it was highly exaggerated.

I was expecting him to respond to my provocation with more words, but, much to my disappointment, it seems as if he's run out of things to say to me; he shot me a nasty glare, opened his mouth to speak and then closed it, fists shut tight as he crossed his arms and harrumphed.

And then he just…threw his head back as far as he could and screamed as loud as he could, his scream a wretched combination of pain, despair and coughing that rapidly devolved into a dangerous spluttering that forced him to hold his throat and calm down as he couldn't sustain his scream for more than a few seconds.

"…Why are you saving me?"

Was the quiet, flat question he asked when he could speak again, his head hanging low.

I did not answer his question, for I did not know how to.

So, with no words to say, I simply shrugged, the kid staring up at me through his hair.

"You don't know?"

"Don't know."

"…That's…" As he trailed off, he slowly lifted his head, his mouth open, no sound escaping it. Instead, he closed his mouth and gently shook his head from side to side.

"Don't know." I repeated.

And then there was no response.

The kid didn't say anything and simply stared into my eyes, the wind tussling his hair and caressing his skin. And then, without any rhyme or reason, he opened his mouth, his golden jewels for eyes shining just a little brighter than they had been.

"Thank you, mister goblin, for saving my life."

* * *

After a short interlude of rest, we resumed our journey along the road. The boy told me it would take us back to the town he came from, which is a four-day journey by carriage, so my hopes were getting high.

However, there was a small problem.

The kid would die before we got to town.

His cause of death would be dehydration. In fact, it's day three of his dehydration. I can expect him to die either day or tomorrow, or maybe even the day after that if he's lucky enough.

To make matters worse, there were no ponds or rivers or streams along the road, as far as his knowledge goes, so there's no hope for him. He claims to have had a stockpile of water on his carriage, but it's too late to turn back now.

Therefore, I must come up with a solution to this glaring issue. It'll be a good way to pass the time, especially when I'm slowly destroying my body, but there's literally no alternatives I can think of.

Sure, I could find a wild animal and try to tame it and use it as a vehicle, but that'd be a waste of time.

I could hurry along and try to make it to the town before he died, but that would require me to push myself all the time for several days and that would not end well. I'd permanently collapse long before we reached town.

In conclusion, there's nothing I can do but hope for the best.

Although, as night came, that too seemed to be impossible.

I was out of energy, my muscles were screaming at me, and it was much worse than the previous times I've had to stop due to overexertion. It was so bad I accidentally dropped the kid. I also fell onto my back, unable to get up, but I had luckily made it into the forest before this had happened.

Now I was laying spreadeagled on the grass, groaning as the tension slowly and painfully left my body.

It felt as if I was on fire.

All the while, the boy simply watched me, silent, as I began to writhe about and complain aloud in my mother tongue.

"I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble…" He spoke, but I simply ignored him as I rolled onto my stomach, a position I believe I would stay in for quite a while, as there was nothing I needed to say.

He knew I wasn't going to say anything, either, so he let his stomach do the talking for him.

"…Do goblins not need to eat or something?"

I shook my head in response, but after a moment of hesitation, I spoke.

"Eat people. Pathetic goblin."

"Do goblins often eat people?" He tilted his head to the side.

"Yes."

"But you don't eat people?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Me, pathetic goblin."

"So, you're bad at being a goblin?"

As soon as I nod my head, a wry grin formed on the boy's face. "I can tell. You're very bad at being a goblin."

And after that, nothing else was spoken between us, the two moons rapidly climbing into the sky. I rolled back onto my back, once again mesmerised by the twinkling canvas of the night, and remained motionless, hoping the beckoning call of a peaceful sleep would quickly claim me.

A curt glance at the boy revealed he had already fallen asleep, so it's about time I follow suite.

But, as my eyes were shut tightly, and I began to lose my sense of consciousness, my ears twitched as the most distant and quietest of sounds was quickly becoming closer and louder.

In the span of ten seconds, it had become a cacophony of rapid footsteps, those which are too fast for any human or goblin.

* * *

 **Apologies for the delay. Also, I need to name the boy something eventually. Should he have a real name, or a class title like Knight and the others do?**


	24. My Daily Life As A Goblin (5)

Despite the apparent urgency of the situation, I remained still in the hopes the cacophony of footsteps would pass. I couldn't be bothered to deal with unpredictable situations because of the state I'm in, after all, so there was no chance I was even going to open my eyes as I was in no state to fight off any unwanted attackers.

However, despite my hopes, the footsteps slowly came to a stop near our position, meaning I will be dealing with some nonsense I did not ask for.

So, with a deep sigh, I slowly pushed myself to my feet, begrudgingly wielding Knight's blood-stained sword in both hands, most muscles in my arms begging me to stop. I ignored them, even though I was sure to cramp when it really mattered, and slowly inched towards the road.

As soon as I saw the silver shine of grey fur between a gap in the trees, I knew I was screwed. Why? Wolves. That alone was enough to make my heart beat quicker, my body feeling light and my muscles becoming more willing to work properly.

Even though I could now fight due to the adrenaline that is surging through my body, I'm probably going to die, anyway, as the wolves would be able to sniff me out in an instant because I haven't cleaned the blood off me. They're good at that kind of stuff, aren't they?

I need to stop thinking, though, and do something before I'm eaten alive.

But what should I do?

I don't know how many wolves there are, so I can't charge in recklessly as I'd likely be destroyed. I can't sneak up on them either, as wolves supposedly have good ears, so I'm basically left with nothing to do.

The sudden crunching of the grass forced me to gulp as my grip tightened.

They were approaching me now. One of them was, at least, as there was only one distinct set of footsteps, but, knowing there's only one of them near me, maybe I could take this one on and scare the others off. That seems to be the best course of action and it's the only thing I can probably do, so it's worth a shot, even if it ends horribly.

As I prepared to dive out of the cover to at least give me a chance of survival, the familiar, distinct and bone chilling grunt of a conversation between goblins reached my ears.

I bit my lip, now reconsidering my options.

Between the goblins and wolves, I was twice as dead now if they choose to attack me, but, considering the wolves aren't eating those goblins alive, something I had witnessed first hand not too long ago in the forest near my birthplace, the goblins must have some beneficial relationship with them.

My eyes widened, not because I was afraid, but because of the opportunities a tamed wolf would present.

Physically, wolves would be just as good as a horse as a mode of transport if they could hold your weight as they were faster and could be used as a method of attack. And as goblins are as light as a small child, they would weigh next to nothing on the back of a wolf, especially if the wolf is unusually large. With that said, the boy I'm lugging around is probably the same weight as me, so if I manage to steal one of the wolves, I could get the boy to safety before he dies, assuming the wolf could hold the both of us up on its back.

As soon as I had decided to step out from behind the tree, a grunt of greeting from beside me made me jump in my skin.

Turning my head to look at the goblin, I immediately noticed his empty hands and scrawny build. A sigh of relief escaped me as I knew it would be easy to take him out if it came down to it. The unknown number of remaining wolves and goblins would be a problem, though, so I guess I'll have to stall for time and consider my options further.

I grunt back at the goblin, relaxing my body while offering a greeting, and followed up by asking what he was doing in the forest.

He told me he was in pursuit of a group of women his tribe leader wanted to claim at all costs as it was an apparent once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

I asked him how many of him there were, and he responded by saying there was only eight of them.

I asked him about the wolves.

He remained silent for a moment, but then said they had been tamed by their leader.

I responded by commending his leader, and his face seemed to light up in response.

He thanked me for the kind words, praised how strong his leader was, and then asked me what I was doing in the forest.

I told him I was travelling in the same direction he was, to which he responded positively.

He asked me if I belonged to a tribe, but I told him I did not as they had been killed by adventurers.

He asked me if I was a wanderer, searching for my revenge and the strength that was required, and I muttered a quiet yes.

He asked me if it was the group of women he was after, and as I told him they were in fact the group that had killed my kin, he opened his mouth to speak.

And then he narrowed his eyes and told me they had a traitor on their side. He asked me if I knew the traitor or even was the traitor, but I shook my head with a sigh.

I told him I'd be with them if I was the traitor, not following behind them, to which he laughed and apologised for his hasty accusation.

He then asked me if I wanted to join his group as I apparently looked strong and reliable with the sword and my muscles. He even told me I might become a hobgoblin one day because of it, to which I awkwardly laughed in response.

He then asked me to come out and meet his tribe members, to which I responded by saying there was someone else with me. His eyes widened, he asked where they were, and I pointed down to where the boy was.

The goblin tilted his head and asked why they hadn't come up here with me.

I told him they were badly injured and needed me to carry them around everywhere.

The goblin sniffed the air and then narrowed his eyes once more.

He told me he smelt a human male, and then jumped back and pointed his finger at me, declaring me to be the traitor.

I laughed in response, jokingly told him he was stupid, and then made up a plan on the fly where I was planning to use the human as bait for the group.

The goblin calmed down, told me I was smart for thinking of such a thing, and asked me if I wanted to bring him along.

I took a moment to think, and then said the boy should come along with us as he'd be useful as both bait and a hostage if it came down to it.

The goblin agreed and told me to lead him to the boy, so he could help me carry him to the road.

I promptly did so and, upon inspection of the boy, asked me if he came from the carriage that was along the way. I said he was, and, in response, the goblin asked me if I had killed everyone there.

I quickly said I did, to which the goblin admired me some more, and praised me for my strength. He said I'd become a champion or lord one day if I kept it up, to which I asked what a champion was.

The goblin simply said that a champion was the strongest of goblins and was unable to be killed by even the humans.

I didn't respond as we reached the boy and, as I knelt next to him, the boy's eyes snapped open.

"…Mister goblin…?" His eyes began to frantically look around and as soon as he had seen our temporary companion, he opened his mouth to scream.

I quickly covered it and hushed him. "It's ok." He seemed to have calmed down with those words, so I removed my hand.

"What's the meaning of this?"

"Fool." Is what I said, glancing to the goblin next to me.

The boy seemed to understand what I was trying to say and nod his head.

The goblin was quick to praise my skills, though, asking me how I had learnt the language of the humans. I told him my tribe often captured women and how, when they weren't being abused, I tried to talk to them to upset them. I told him I knew a little bit of their language because of that.

He didn't say anything in response, though, his mouth wide open and his eyes wide, so before he could actually say anything, I told him to help me with the boy. The goblin quickly nod his head and grabbed an arm, to which I followed suit, grabbing both his legs after quickly attaching Knight's sword to my back.

From there, we carried him to the road, gently placed him on the ground, and watched as the rest of the goblins jumped off the wolves. There seemed to be two goblins to a wolf as there was four wolves.

As I was about to make a comment on this surprising arrangement, I had quickly drawn my sword, holding it against a goblin's neck.

With a crude, rusted dagger in a raised hand, he had grabbed the boy by the shirt and had obviously prepared to end his life.

I stopped him before that could happen, though, and watched as the goblin slowly backed away.

Clearing my throat, I stepped in front of the boy.

"We are not killing this boy. He is useful to us. We can use him as bait. If anyone else tries to hurt him or kill him, they will be the one that dies."

While I sound calm and confident on the outside, the truth is that I'm barely stopping myself from getting angry. My insides were churning, and my heart and brain were on fire, so it was all I could to bite the inside of my cheek to calm myself. I at least scared most of the goblins, though.

Yup. _Most_ of them.

All but one of them had the brains or fear to agree with me, but this one, small goblin thought it wise to complain about my sudden authority. He spoke up, denouncing me from the group because I wasn't one of them, and then proceeded to get up in my face about it, trying to push my back with his hands.

I did stagger a little, but that was to be expected, however, this goblin took it to be a sign of weakness. As he began to rally support from the other goblins, I sighed and wielded my blade once more.

Instead of threatening him, the sword was already buried deep in chest, blood spurting forth from where the blade had cleaved through his shoulder and scapula.

The rowdy goblins had calmed down once more and were staring at me with eyes of contempt, but what do they expect, especially after my warning? I'm tall, a little muscular with strength that surprises even me sometimes, and have the combat strength to back it up, so it's no surprise I've killed one of them in an instant.

To break the tension, the goblin that had helped me carry the boy cleared his throat, declared the boy and I would be joining them temporarily, and began sorting out transport arrangements.

As the other goblins were now deathly afraid of me, the boy and I got a wolf to ourselves. It was grey, twice as big as me, and had a pair of calm, azure eyes. It reminded me of the beast from the forest, but it's unlikely it's the same being.

That would be too much of a coincidence, right? And it wouldn't matter if it was the same wolf, anyway, as we have no meaningful relationship with each other. I merely let him devour one of my kin and that's that.

With that said, though, its fur is nice and soft, and its back is comfortable to sit on. With the boy sitting in front of me, I could even lean forward and sleep, but that would be too risky, not to mention the fact the wolf will be bobbing up and down.

I need to keep an eye on the boy, too, lest the other goblins injure him while I'm asleep. Hell, they might even try to kill me because I murdered one of their companions, but I doubt they'd try when they have more pressing matters to pursue.

Coming to that conclusion, it would be safe to fall asleep, even if it was temporary, but I fear the muscle pain I would wake up to. I don't exactly know how that stuff works on a scientific level, but from experience in my past life, it's not fun to have when you must move around the next day.

My high school days sure were tough in that regard.

"Mister goblin," The boy had suddenly whispered to me, glancing at me from behind his shoulders, "What exactly is your plan here?" I hummed to myself as I too did not know exactly what it was I was going to do.

I knew I needed to get the boy to safety as soon as possible and I knew this wolf could be used for that purpose, but the only problem is breaking off from the group without them knowing or pursuing us.

With a hand to my chin, I began my long journey of self-enlightenment as we began to move through the night.

* * *

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	25. My Daily Life As A Goblin (6)

The next time I was aware of my surroundings, it was morning.

Birds were chirping, the sun was pushing itself over the horizon behind us, bathing me in its warm rays, and the sky was a pleasant mixture of orange and purple. I must've fallen asleep, considering the fact my mind was foggy and my body was sore, but I didn't panic as the wolf was still moving, albeit at a much slower pace than the sprint I remembered.

The boy was still asleep, too, his head resting against the wolf's neck, mine on the boy's back, and it took me a few moments to gather my wits. Raising my head off his back, aware of the fuzzy yet painful feelings in all my muscles, I rubbed my eyes with one hand, and slowly glanced at my surroundings.

Nothing was out of the ordinary, except for the fact all the goblins were completely still and silent. I tilted my head to the side, before I called out to one nearby, asking if I'd missed anything. He promptly responded with a negative, to which I frowned and furrowed my brow.

It was strange, after all. These goblins weren't rowdy, not in the slightest, just as my kin were. They were almost like statues, staring straight ahead with no words or actions to be said or made between each other.

It was…creepy and disconcerting. A little off-putting, but that gave me even more of a reason to ditch them as soon as possible. They could be up to something I don't know about, after all, something that involves me and the boy, so it would be best to thwart those plans before they come to life.

I'm probably overreacting, though, as they're goblins. They wouldn't have anything to discuss between each other as they've most likely run out of topics long ago. They're addicted to sex, violence and human flesh, so it's too harsh to expect anything intellectual or constructive to come from their mouths.

With that said, even as we came to a stop, the horizon ahead of us now a similar shade of tangerine, they still didn't speak. They jumped off their wolves, led them off the road, and curled up in the cover of a bunch of trees. I simply slid off my wolf and watched as most of the goblins quickly and uneventfully fell asleep.

Similarly, the wolves awkwardly stood around for a few moments before they decided it was also time to sleep, the small pack finding a few trees that were far from their goblin masters. I stood next to my wolf, who strangely did not think to join them, the boy that was still sleeping on top of him probably being the deciding factor, and reached up to stroke its head as the lead goblin approached.

He stopped short of me, glanced up at the boy, and spoke, telling me we needed to go hunt an animal to feed the wolves and the human. I nod once and asked him who was coming, to which he responded with a hum of thought. He glanced around the campsite, before he shrugged his shoulders.

And then he pointed at me, himself and two other goblins who were watching the interaction. The two proceeded to stand up, come over to where we were, and ask what was happening.

My simple response was the mere mention of hunting.

The two nod in response, asked when we were leaving, and then, in the next instant, the lead goblin began to walk off without a word. The two glanced at me, shrugged their shoulders, and followed their leader, leaving me on my own.

I ended up sighing, shaking my head at the absurdity of the situation, and shook the boy awake. He stared down at me with tired eyes, his head tilted to the side, and I opened my mouth to speak. Except, this time, I didn't know the words.

Despite the fact I had been somewhat conversing with the boy since his awakening, my vocabulary wasn't very big yet as it was hard to memorise the words and their sounds. The boy knew this, too, so I was glad he was patient with me.

"Food." Is what I managed to mutter after a few seconds, gesturing to the sword on my back. The boy nodded his head, rubbed his eyes and yawned before he quietly mumbled out a response.

"Hunting?" Was the word I was looking for, the sounds of the word carving themselves into my mind as it was an important word to know when on a journey through the wilderness. With that said, though, I gave him a curt nod and turned my back on him, lightly jogging to catch up with the three emptyhanded goblins I was going to be stuck with.

* * *

The forest was almost silent, as it was supposed to be.

The birds were singing their mating calls, the insects were buzzing about, and the trees were gently swaying in tandem with the breeze, the quiet rustling of their green leaves a relaxing sound amongst the loud and brash chattering of three goblins.

What were they talking about? Nothing in particular. Just the usual things you'd expect goblins to talk about, such as sex and violence, so it was easy for me to ignore their words with a furrowed brow, even though I was somehow the centre of their attention. They were mostly talking about the things they'd do to the women they'd eventually capture, which was a disturbing topic to overhear, but with them constantly asking me questions, I had no choice but to quietly participate with hums of approval and affirmation every now and then, meaning I had to pay the smallest bit of attention lest they get mad from me ignoring them.

Ignoring them would be mean and I was in no position to be harsh, however, it was probably less harsh than me killing them when their backs are turned. Although, even if they _are_ strangely empty-handed, I didn't want to push myself as my body wouldn't allow it. I mean, I was currently struggling to walk comfortably due to muscle strain, so there's no way I'd be able to wield my sword properly, let alone use it.

I just need to keep my mouth shut and play along with the charade I have created. It _was_ in the best interest of both them and I, but when I think about it, I'll have to act eventually as we might run into Knight's group very soon.

After all, if my mental map is accurate and if common sense is anything to go off, there should be a town somewhere to the west.

…Thinking about it now, this could be a tough situation to pull myself out of, but at this point, most things are out of my control, so I shouldn't worry too much about the things that will inevitably happen soon.

If I go with the flow, everything will turn out alright, just as it is now.

With that said, I almost walked into the back of the leader goblin as he stopped abruptly, the other two following his lead. I tilted my head to the side and opened my mouth to speak, but the sight of an unearthly beast a few meters ahead of us had me shocked instead.

They were made from blood red scales, after all, and had a lizard's head, so who could blame me for staring with an agape mouth at what might be a kobold. The goblins I was with appear to be new to such a sight, too, as they did not make any sound and only moved their heads to stare furiously into each other's eyes.

Eventually, they slowly backed away and stood behind me, leaving me standing there with a pale face once the kobold had taken notice of us. The kobold muttered something in a strange, fantastical language, appeared to have sighed, and picked a spear out of the grass with one hand, the spear being the same length as its body.

Meanwhile, the goblins were pushing at my back and were telling me to deal with it before it dealt with us, to which I furrowed my brow and told them to deal with it themselves if they were that afraid.

The kobold wasn't faring any better, either, as it was slowly shuffling back, obviously looking for the best chance to turn tail and run. I wouldn't blame it for running away, either, as this situation would seem to be disadvantageous from their perspective.

Although, if it runs away, wouldn't it go and find its friends? There is strength in numbers, after all, and if I'm not mistaken, where there's one kobold, there'll be a lot more of them. Furthermore, I think the kobold isn't a fan of ours, meaning there must be some animosity between races.

With that thought on my mind, I, too, began to slowly back away, the three goblins beginning to copy me. Eventually, the pair turned tail and ran, prompting the kobold to do the same, leaving me and the leader goblin on our lonesome in the forest.

He glanced at me, asked me if I knew what that was, to which I responded with a vague answer, essentially telling him I knew of them but didn't know a lot about them. That much was true, at least, as I have never been the biggest enthusiast of the monsters you would see in high fantasy.

Anyway, the leader and I should probably run away before reinforcements arrive.

* * *

Somewhere along the forest path we were now backtracking after a short jog, my muscle strain prompting me to slow down, we had come across quite a troubling sight. In fact, it was more than troubling. It was straight up problematic. How so? Gushing blood, and the green arm that was limp in the grass.

Considering the fact blood was still pouring from the wound, this must have happened very recently. My mind automatically goes to the pair, but that may not be the case as we _are_ close to our temporary campsite. Either way, one goblin has lost their arm, and I must be thankful it's not me.

The culprit was obvious, though. I mean, we just ran into a kobold, so we're obviously in kobold territory, and if there was one kobold standing around in the open, looking bored out of their mind, they must have patrols or guards or whatnot that would have had the time and opportunity to do this.

I quickly untied the cloth that was binding Knight's sword to my back.

With a trusty weapon in my hands, I felt much safer, but the situation was still dangerous. Considering I didn't hear any goblin screams, it can be assumed the goblin was killed almost instantly, and if that is the case, this very well may be a trap.

With the blade poised, my arms threatening to cramp up and give way at any moment, I quickly made my way along the forest path with the leader trailing close behind me. He must have glanced behind him, though, as he quickly called out to me and made me aware of a pair of pursuers, so with a sigh of defeat, I spun around on the balls of my feet and prepared to meet my foes.

Two kobolds, neither of them wearing armour, but both with spears in their hands. They were silent, despite their speedy approach, and were glaring wildly at us with their wide lizard eyes. It was all I could do to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat, though, as a pit of dread settled in my stomach.

I whispered to the leader goblin, telling him to handle the kobold on the left, knowing he would be useless in a battle. He hesitated, but nod his head anyway, and awkwardly stood still, waiting for my signal. Once the kobolds were about ten meters away from us, I started a short march towards the one on the right with a war cry, hoping to inspire my temporary comrade and raise his morale.

Regardless of how he performs, I'll need to take care of myself. Because my body is a wreck, I'd need to be careful with the way I move. That means I'll need to analyse the way the enemy acts to avoid any unnecessary movements and injuries. From the way this kobold is moving, though, I think he'll stab at me with his spear because he isn't slowing down.

Is he aiming to end this with one strike? Maybe I should honour his courage and do the same.

Once the kobold was close enough to poke me with his spear, I stepped to the right and raised Knight's sword as quickly as I could manage. I stepped forward with my left foot, feeling the presence of the spear fly past my side, and used my entire body to give the blade strength, watching with narrowed eyes as it dug into the kobold's skull at an angle.

However, following the momentum of his charge, the kobold's corpse ended up shoulder tackling me into the grass, my weary body offering very little resistance against the strength of a lizard that seemed to be as tall as I was.

I quickly pushed him off me, though, as there was still one more enemy to kill, and sprung to my feet, stealing his spear off the ground as Knight's sword was probably stuck in his head. I then dashed over to the second kobold, watching my temporary comrade dodge a quick jab by diving to the grass, and thrust the spear straight through the side of the kobold's neck.

Said kobold's violent twisting of its head forced me to release the spear and retreat, however, as it turned to face me, my temporary companion ran up to it and wailed on its chest with his fists, grabbing its attention once more.

With this golden opportunity in front of me, I quickly pulled the spear out of the kobold's neck with a twist, destroying the entire front of its neck, to which the kobold stopped, tried to feel what was once its throat, and dropped its weapon.

It stumbled back, falling onto its behind after a few steps, and quietly sat in the grass as blood gushed forth from the wound, eyes seemingly wide and empty as if it has accepted its fate. With a quiet sigh, I glanced at my temporary companion, who was frowning, and told him to take my new spear.

Without a shred of hesitation, he took it from my hands and quickly turned away from the kobold, staring at me with quivering eyes. As I turned around to retrieve Knight's sword, he quietly spoke, asking me a question I was unable to answer.

"Killing other living beings so easily…does it not disturb you?"

* * *

 **Twenty-five chapters is a milestone, isn't it? Here's to many more! Thank you to all for reading 'Me, a Goblin?'**


	26. Assault (1)

With both hands wrapped around the hilt of Knight's sword, I froze, staring into nothingness as I took a moment to think of the question I had been asked. It was a question I had never thought of, after all, as such things shouldn't be too important in this harsh world, but when confronted by someone of the very species I wholeheartedly despise, I couldn't help but stop and think.

I mean, how have I been killing other beings so easily? Normally, a modern human would be reluctant to even harm another living thing, me included, but I feel no such restraints as a goblin. Is it because of my genetic makeup? The fact I was born as a goblin? Or is it an emotional numbness, a form of depression, a subconscious intent to feign ignorance?

Perhaps it is the power of that Goblin Lord that lives inside of me.

"Killing other living beings…sometimes it's something you just have to do, you know?" Is what I whispered back as I effortlessly withdrew Knight's sword from the kobold, the blade a confronting crimson that was dripping off it in droves.

"Even if that's the case, aren't you disturbed by it?"

As I turned to leave the scene, back facing my companion and the deceased kobolds, I froze once more, eyes tired. "Not at all. In fact, I…feel nothing after killing my enemies, even though I should."

"I…see…" Somehow, this goblin sounded disappointed, but what I said was true. Up until now, I don't recall feeling any remorse for those I've murdered as they've all deserved it, but am I right to think that? They all have their reasons, I know that, but do they really deserve to die? Can't they be redeemed?

That is a train of thought I've had before, one that I could not answer. I mean, I couldn't just answer it so easily, not when it's a question that involves the death of another conscious existence. In a sense, it's cruel to say it's okay to kill them, but then again, if my own life is at stake, my sense of self-preservation always kicks in and messes things up…

Or not. In fact, things usually go as planned, don't they? It's something like that anyway, as I usually survive unscathed, so there really shouldn't be a problem with killing things, especially if I'm unwillingly being endorsed by a goddess. Nothing bad could come out of it.

So, with that said, my answer is as such – it's okay to kill other things, as you'll both end up in hell in the end, so don't feel bad about doing the things you need to do to survive! It's just a little bit of blood on your hands, anyway, so if I really do end up feeling bad about killing things, I can just wash myself off.

Well, I'm already covered in blood, so I'll need to wash myself regardless if I don't want to get sick…

With a nod of my head, I had suddenly made up my mind.

"You know," I started, glancing back at the leader goblin, "if something is attacking you and your life is in danger, you shouldn't feel bad about fighting back, even if it ends up with someone dying."

"…But, killing another being so easily…"

"If you're that upset about it, then answer me this. Have you ever harmed a human?"

"…Not directly, no."

"Well, did you feel bad about it?"

"Of course not.

"Then you deserve to rot in hell, just like me," I calmly spoke, now staring up into the azure sky. "I mean, humans are just like goblins. They think, talk, have friends, eat and reproduce and you think it's okay to feel good about hurting them in some way."

"…I know, but I had no choice."

"That's a lie and you know it. You're no better than me."

There was a long pause, and even though my back was turned to him, I could tell the leader goblin kept on opening his mouth to speak. In the end, he didn't say anything and approached me instead.

"I know at least that much," Was what he muttered as he stopped short of me, and a quick glance over my shoulder revealed his lowered head and furrowed brow. "So don't try and make me feel bad about myself."

"Then what would you prefer I say to you?"

There was another pause, except this time, there was nothing the leader goblin wanted to say to me. Instead, he stood next to me, and he too stared up into the azure sky, with the seconds slowly ticking by us, until he eventually spoke once more.

"…Nothing much, really. I guess I'm just looking for someone strong I can trust."

* * *

When we resumed journeying back to our encampment, we began hearing the shouts and screams that were associated with mortal combat. Who was winning? Who was losing? It didn't really matter to me as long as I and the boy lived, but to spectate a skirmish between two opposing races would be insightful in some way.

It'd also be pretty cool with the giant wolves and all that, but alas, that was not meant to be as more kobolds blocked our path, their spear tips stained red with the blood of the two goblins who had run off by themselves. The two goblins were lying on their backs in the grass and were wheezing and groaning, so as I clicked my tongue and readied Knight's sword, a deep growl emanated to my left.

A quick glance revealed grit teeth and a furrowed brow, so before the leader goblin did anything hasty, I told him to calm down and think about the situation. Right now, it was a four versus two, with the kobolds poised and ready and when I considered their natural speed, it wouldn't be strange for them to charge at us as the distance between us and them was only a rough fifteen meters.

Although, with the screaming at the encampment becoming progressively worse, it might end up with us rushing them…

After a moment of deliberation and a sigh, I once again glanced at the leader goblin and whispered to him, telling him we were going to charge them when he receives my signal. He nod his head once, the kobolds staring us down, until I slowly inhaled.

And then with a mighty shout that rocked the forest, we simultaneously dashed towards the kobolds. The lizards raised their spears in response to this declaration of war, and as the distance between us was quickly closed, one stepped forward and hissed as he raised the back end of his spear high into the air, obviously aiming to thrust down at me with all his strength.

In response to his provocation, I too assumed a stance as I charged, hilt close to my armpit with the tip facing the kobold, and as soon I was close enough, my observation was proven to be true; the kobold thrust down at me, stepping forward and lunging as he did so, the spear travelling at an absurd speed that far surpassed my expectations with my chest appearing to be the target.

To counter this, instead of thrusting the sword out to kill him before he kills me as I had originally planned to do, I dived off to the right, forgoing any chance to counter attack, and landed on my stomach a short distance behind him, having to scramble to my feet to avoid being stabbed by a second kobold.

After spinning on the balls of my feet to face my foes, now behind enemy lines while greedily breathing in oxygen, Knight's sword poised and ready to strike, I had to make a decision, the leader goblin only now beginning his fierce fight with one of the kobolds.

"Three versus one, huh? And you're all nicely lined up for me…"

Needless to say, my options were limited. Do I run away, or do I stay and fight? Either options may as well end up with my death, depending on the situation, so in my eyes, it didn't really matter what I did. Well, considering the campsite is probably a bloodbath by now, fighting off three kobolds would undoubtedly be safer.

So, with a grin slowly forming on my face, I knew I had to put my all into this fight as it would determine my right to live. Knowing that, it wasn't a surprise to feel my body move on its own, my instincts heaving Knight's sword above my head as I stepped forward.

And then I brought it down as hard as I could, effortlessly breaking a spear in two before it could even hit me, the momentum behind the strike allowing me to spring forward and shoulder tackle the kobold that had tried to attack me before he could even realise his weapon had been broken.

So, with one kobold temporarily knocked down, I had to deal with two more, so with the resistance of the tackle slowing me right down, I was able to spin around on the balls of my feet and meet their attacks, one grazing my side with the other missing entirely as I had to quickly step backwards to avoid being skewered.

Now that their turn is over, I quickly decided the right kobold was the one I would attack, so with my target set, I took a few quick steps towards him and thrust with as much power I could gather, managing to barely pierce his chest with the tip of Knight's blade. I then decided that that much wasn't enough and stepped forward to apply even more force, ramming the blade deeper in until it popped out the other side.

And then my intuition screamed at me to spin around, so I did just that, and was met with a low tackle from the empty-handed kobold that sent the both of us tumbling to the floor. Luckily, my hands weren't bound as I was forced to release Knight's sword when spinning around, so I was able to curl my fists and punch at the kobold as hard as I can, snapping his head back as my fist connected with his chin, his grip loosening enough for me to then push him off to the side.

Following this, I scurried to my feet, making sure to not lose sight of either one of the kobolds, and glanced around for anything I could use as a weapon.

There was nothing in my immediate vicinity, forcing me to curse under my breath, so as the kobold with a spear rushed at me and thrust with all his might, it was all I could do to jump to the side to avoid his attack. I stepped in to counter attack, however, as the spear was retracted, the other kobold came in to tackle me again.

I stepped close to the spear kobold to dodge the tackle, and while he leapt back to create distance between us, I wrapped both hands around the middle of his spear as tightly as I could and pulled, grounding him as he struggled to maintain his grip. I tugged once more, the resistance much greater this time, so with grit teeth, I raised my right leg and front kicked his stomach with as much power as I could muster, forcing the kobold to hunch over and release the spear as he began to splutter.

I then hurriedly retreated to the side, spinning around on the balls of my feet, and noticed the other kobold wielding Knight's sword with what appeared to be a triumphant grin. I furrowed my brow, eyes narrowed, and then dashed towards him.

Similar to the kobold that had tried to do the exact same thing to me, I raised the back end of the spear up in the air, except this time, because I was running, I was able to pounce towards my foe and exert even more force and speed than what would normally be possible when standing still.

Needless to say, the kobold wasn't able to swing Knight's somewhat heavy sword properly with his thin arms, so as he struggled to react to my bold move, the spear dug deep into the flesh of his chest.

And then there was a jolt to my arms, forcing me to release the spear, as the metallic tip snapped off, seemingly having struck a hard bone of some kind. This wasn't exactly detrimental, though, as the spear had done its job, so as the kobold screeched and stumbled around, clutching at his chest with empty hands, I quickly reclaimed what was temporarily mine and spun around for the last time.

Without even acknowledging the futility of his attempt, knowing he was empty-handed and desperate to reclaim the advantage, I cleaved the remaining kobold's skull in two with a great downwards swing that almost destroyed all the momentum he had gathered when charging at me.

The lizard's body fell to the ground, first colliding with my torso, smearing it with even more blood, and as the crimson liquid began to pool at my feet and stain the green grass, the metallic stench only now being recognized by my nostrils, I sighed and hoisted Knight's sword onto a shoulder as I quickly realised the battle was over, the leader goblin having speared his opponent through the throat. With all the kobolds dead, the only thing left to do was observe the carnage to ensure everyone was dead.

In short, we did a pretty good job, all things considered, so I couldn't help but feel proud of our work. I mean, we were severely outclassed and came out triumphant, with neither of us sustaining any serious injuries, so it was uplifting to see three lifeless kobolds, two dead goblins, that one kobold that was still clawing at his chest, and the blood that stained the chipped blade of Knight's sword.

However, now wasn't the time to feel proud and happy of our achievements. In fact, despite the strong urge I had to sit down and recover my breath, and even though my companion was already doing that, we needed to head back to the camp to ensure at least some of our other companions, the wolves and the boy specifically, were still alive and fighting.

In fact, when I ignored my laboured breathing and focused on the ambient sounds, there was nothing but the wind rustling the leaves and shrubbery…

I dashed over to the leader goblin, pulled him to his feet, and told him we needed to get back to our encampment as quickly as we could as the lack of sound suggested that everyone that could put up a resistance has been killed.

* * *

 **Hey, it's me again. Apologies for the delay. On top of being busy, this chapter was** _ **extremely**_ **hard to write. It went through four revisions before I settled with this, so that's the major reason it took so long to come out.**

 **So, with that said, thank you for your patience. I'll try my hardest to be quicker next time.**


	27. Assault (2)

Despite his earlier reluctance to fight, my goblin companion took no hesitation in dealing with his own cowardice. It surprised even me, but when confronted with the fire that was now burning in his eyes, I knew it would be best to avoid stopping him.

He had a mission, after all, and if that meant he was going to rush into a conflict headfirst to save his friends, so be it. I had someone to protect, too, so with an aligned goal, it wouldn't hurt me to provide him with some assistance if it came down to it.

However, my top priority is my life. That shouldn't have to be said, but just in case, I'm reminding myself of this necessity in case I get too caught up in whatever happens. Now, though, it's time to clear my mind.

So, as we rushed through the shrubbery, twigs and sticks scraping our flesh away, weapons poised, I calmed my breathing, narrowed my eyes and emptied my mind. It seems as if my companion didn't need to take such precautions, however, as his seemingly unbridled rage was fuelling his otherwise unfit body.

And then we burst into the clearing, taking a few unsuspecting kobolds by surprise. I quickly destroyed the skull of one of them, watching as my companion almost threw his spear towards a second, piercing it straight through the navel, with a third only now ready to face us.

Quickly observing the clearing revealed only four more kobolds on the other side of it and a bunch of unsurprising gore in the middle, so with a heave and a loud grunt, I tore Knight's sword out of the body of the deceased and wildly attacked the third kobold.

He thrust his spear at me in response, albeit it a second too late after I attacked him, and he quickly found himself with a sword buried deep into his chest, courtesy of his unprotected shoulder that was now leaking blood.

He fell to his knees and dropped his spear, screeching and writhing about in pain, so as I quickly twisted and pulled at my sword as the other four kobolds rushed us, my goblin companion readied himself to face them all on his lonesome.

Knowing things wouldn't end well if I didn't help him immediately, I decided to forgo the sword, snatched a spear up instead and joined my companion, the pointed tip reflecting light as it faced its enemies.

"Needless to say, I'm not confident enough to fight three by myself again." My goblin companion offered a nod in response to my sudden words, and as we made contact with the four kobolds half a second later, I leapt step to the side to create some distance between my companion and me. My spear then quickly found its way into the side of one of the kobold's stomachs, and as I ripped it out, a screech coming from the one I had harmed, I had to once again step to the side to avoid a second thrust.

But I was left with no room to attack, my back to a cluster of trees and shrubbery, so as I took two small steps back and then one step forward, I gathered strength in my arms and delivered the strongest thrust I possibly could.

The strike was undeniably shoddy, but because it speared through the side of the kobold's neck and not the centre, a large chunk of flesh and meat was stripped away at the tip's command, rendering the kobold incapacitated as it threw away its spear to claw and clutch at the exposed flesh and throat.

I then easily dealt with my final opponent, the lizard seemingly frothing at the mouth as he had jumped to do his feet to deal with me, his wounded stomach spurting blood with each movement. I stepped past his obvious thrust, straight into close range where I was able to stagger them with a front kick to the leg, my spear following through with a strong blow to the stomach that sent him tumbling to the floor. I then pounced on him, spear raised high into the air, and delivered a strong blow to his throat, the spear piercing the earth on the other side.

I then released the breath I had unknowingly held and glanced in my companion's direction, noticing the fact he had only just finished dealing with a single kobold. I hurriedly retrieved another spear off the ground and turned to assist him, however, he abruptly roared with all his might, twisted his body to the side to avoid a thrust, receiving a shallow cut on his side, in the process and growled, tackling the kobold to the ground.

He wrapped his hands around its throat and squeezed with as much might as he could, his thumbs pressing down especially hard on the frontside as the kobold flailed around and choked, until it stopped moving about a minute later. To finish it off, he grabbed a nearby spear and sliced the kobold's throat open.

He then froze, heaving and panting with all his might, before he rolled onto the bloody grass. His brow was creased, his lips turned down, and as he narrowed his eyes, it became clear he was biting the inside of his cheek.

"You're angry, aren't you?"

"…Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I'm not saying you can't be. In fact, it's probably normal to be angry right now."

"If you know that, then why bother asking?"

"No particular reason. I'm just curious."

"…"

After a moment of uncomfortable silence, I sighed and went to retrieve Knight's sword. Surprisingly, it came out quite easy when compared to my earlier struggle, however, it appeared to have been damaged during the battle as there was an obvious crack running down the centre.

The edge was also badly chipped and blunt, but this has built up over a long period of time, so it's not something I could really complain about as it is partly my fault for not taking proper care of the blade.

Nevertheless, it wasn't going to last much longer, so if I could help it, I'd like to avoid fighting, however, that isn't exactly going to be possible. It's clear we're in kobold territory, and if we goblins continue to exist on their grounds, they're probably going to hunt us down, assuming they have enough resources to spare.

Despite this, I need to continue pushing forward towards the ever-distant town the trio should be pursuing at this moment as that has always been my goal. On top of that, I need to escort that boy, but…he might be a part of the gore in this clearing.

…Tepidly scanning the flesh didn't reveal anything particularly identifiable, so he's probably still alive somewhere, but…where exactly are the wolves? I also can't see any signs of their demise, so they probably escaped alongside the boy.

…Well, even if that isn't true, I have no intention of going too far out of my way to find his remains as it'd be too disheartening to see, so I should hold my head high and proactively search for him instead in case he's alive. Of course, I'm not going to go too far out of my way to find him as I'd probably get lost in the forest and die. In fact, the only thing I can really do to search for him is to keep my eyes peeled as I follow the road.

* * *

After a short rest that was dedicated to grieving for the deceased, we decided to head off down the road. The sun was beating down upon us, and as my goblin companion reluctantly followed me, the eerie silence of the forest enveloped us, leaving no room for conversation.

Every so often I'd glance behind me to tell myself he _wasn't_ going to spear me through the back, but no matter how many times I told myself he had no reason to do so, I continued to check anyway, simply because I was being paranoid around an angry goblin that had a weapon.

Needless to say, he gave me a strange look every time I glanced at him, and when it got to the point where he asked me if I wanted anything in particular, I stopped looking at him altogether and focused on the road ahead of us, even though there was nothing worth focusing on.

Well, that was the case until we heard sounds in the distance many minutes later while ascending a shallow hill. From where I was currently standing, it sounded like some rowdy chattering, so that would mean a group of living things is coming towards us, however, the only response I had to this new event was a quiet, "What?"

Not a _what_ in the sense of being surprised by the revelation, but a _what_ that was a simple question. What are these things? Are they human? Humanoid? Some kind of intelligent monster? Considering the things that have happened in this life, it'd be wise to assume some grand event was going to occur.

A quick glance at my companion revealed a similar state of confusion, so I hastily lead him off the path and into the forest where we would be able to observe these things, but only if they were travelling towards us.

Some time later, they did indeed start making their way down the hill, and from what I could see from behind a tree, it was a small group of five humans with various types of clothing and…weaponry. These guys and girls look like adventurers to me, so it'd be wise to let them pass, however, considering there's adventurers out _here_ of all places, it wouldn't be wrong to assume there's civilization somewhere at the end of this road.

Because I desperately need information, should I go and talk to them?

A quiet sigh escaped me.

There's no way I can talk to them looking like this. I'm covered in blood, have a sword tied to my back and I _am_ a goblin. All three of those factors aren't exactly acting in my favour, so I'd probably lose my head before I could open my mouth and plead my innocence, not that I was innocent in any shape or form...

The group of five quickly pass by us, chattering all the while about random, menial things that have occurred in their daily lives. Nothing they said was of any particular use to me, so as I went to relay this to my companion, knowing he couldn't understand them and was probably expecting me to translate, I narrowed my eyes.

I mean, it was something I should have expected. He's a goblin. There are two human females in the group. Put two and two together and the result is obvious; he's quietly panting, cheeks flushed as he clenched his fists tightly. His eyes were wide, staring only at the women, and his body was shaking as he wildly sniffed the air.

It didn't take long for him to take one step out of cover, his intentions as clear as day.

I quickly grabbed him by the wrist.

"Don't."

He swallowed loudly and glanced at me. He bit his lip and shook his head. My grip tightened as my gaze hardened.

"I-I can't help it…"

"If you move any further than that, I'll kill you."

Time moved slowly as the sounds of the group slowly faded off into the distance, but I still didn't release my companion's wrist. He stared at me, occasionally glancing down at my hand, and then he seemed to realise something as he suddenly narrowed his eyes and ripped his hand out of my grasp.

"So, you really _are_ the traitor, huh, you bastard!?"

"What makes you think that?"

"Just then, you didn't respond to the female's presence at all."

"And what of it? Maybe I have self-control, unlike you."

"There wasn't even a hint of hesitation in your eyes!"

"Is that so?"

He took several steps back and readied his spear. I simply folded my arms.

"Convince me you're not the traitor. If you can't, I'll kill you here."

"Does it matter? Even if I _am_ the traitor and you kill me here, it's not like anything will change."

He narrowed his eyes further. He stared at me, unmoving, and then clicked his tongue, his posture slowly relaxing.

"…"

And then, with nothing to say, he turned and walked back to the road. I reluctantly followed behind him, however, my mind was only focused on one train of thought.

 _I need to kill this guy as soon as possible._

* * *

 **Hello. Me again. Apologies for the delay. To explain my absence, writing was boring to me for a long while after the previous update, but I've come back again with a passion. I'll try to upload within a decent time frame now, but I obviously can't promise anything.**

 **Thank you for your continued support.**


	28. Aid (2)

In front of us, far beyond the edge of forest, down a dirt slope and in the middle of a large expanse of short grass, basking in the rising light of the twin moons, was a collection of various buildings that were surrounded by a circular wooden wall.

There were about six buildings in total inside of the wall, two of them large and two-storied, with the rest relatively small and uninteresting. The buildings formed a uniform square shape, with what appeared to be a rectangular opening in the middle of them all, and sitting on top of the wall was three towers, presumably for guards or a night watch, all concurrently empty.

There was light coming from inside the town, suggesting it is not yet time for the inhabitants to sleep.

In short, my goblin companion and I had stumbled across an outpost in the middle of nowhere.

On the topic of my goblin companion, I've put killing him on hold for a while due to extreme muscle pains… Yeah, I kinda forgot about them with the adrenaline flowing through my body, so as soon as they hit me not long after those adventurers passed by us, I was forced to grit my teeth and figuratively pray for my safety.

Well, considering we've reached such a dangerous area and I'm not in tiptop shape, I'm considering hunkering down for a day or two while my body heals itself. Actually, with the burning sensations that occur every time I move in all sorts of strange places, I don't think I'll be able to move properly if I fall asleep or even rest.

I quietly sighed.

Next to me, my companion was staring at the outpost with narrowed eyes. Without turning to face me, he spoke, his voice low.

"There are too many humans down there."

"I know. That's why I'm thinking we should sneak around the place when it gets darker."

There was no response after that, so I offered him an inquisitive stare. He promptly sat down cross-legged with a sigh, almost as if his muscles and bones were also creaking and groaning, and supported his head with one head.

"You know, this is probably the first time I've felt my body hurt like this."

I, too, decided to sit down, mirroring his posture.

"Well, you're gonna have to get used to it if you want to grow up to be big and strong."

"Yeah, I know. It just sucks to feel this way."

"If you think what you're dealing with is bad, try being me. I've had next to no rest the past four or five days."

"Is that so? It seems as if you've been through a lot."

"You think? My life has been hell."

I raised my head and decided to stare up at the moons.

I know my goblin companion wouldn't understand why my life has been hell, considering he doesn't share the same sensibilities at me, so as he quietly asked why my life is hellish, I offered him a small smile, eyes heavy, and refused to speak. He stared at me for a moment, and then turned his gaze towards the stars.

And then nothing more was said between us.

However, even though words were not spoken, we both came to a conclusion in that instant – this is one of those rare occasions where we can be at complete peace, so we may as well cherish it for as long as it may last.

* * *

When the light had died out in the outpost and the night watch had mounted their towers, we decided it was time to move. There weren't any people or animals wondering around outside the walls so we would be able to sneak around easily, however, because the moon was high up in the middle of the sky, the grass was bathing in unmeasurable amounts of bright light that would give our positions away in an instant.

Knowing this, we have no choice but to circle around even wider than we originally intended, but that wouldn't be an issue as there was plenty of time to move. It was about midnight, after all, and even if we _were_ put into a position where it became day time, it's not as if people would still spot us so easily.

Even if they did, I doubt they'd waste their time and energy trying to hunt down two goblins who are purposefully trying to sneak past the outpost.

Well, they won't know that, but I hope they'd have at least half a brain to realise that that's what we're doing.

However, as soon as we had left the cover of the trees and moved down the slope, my companion stopped, standing still with a furrowed brow.

"Is something wrong?"

"…It feels like something is following us."

"…?"

Observing the trees behind us revealed nothing but…trees. There were no kobolds or goblins or monsters and there certainly weren't any giant wolves or people. However, if my companion of all things thinks there's something behind us, it'd be wise to keep my eyes open.

We wouldn't want to be attacked from behind as that would mean the end of our lives.

"Well…I guess we should move on. If there really is something there that's following us, we can take care of it out in the field where it can't surprise us."

A single nod later and we had continued moving, circling around the outpost with about fifty meters between us and the wall. Every so often, both of us would glance over our shoulder to check for any movements, but every single time we did, there was nothing there.

And then, after a few minutes of slow walking, my goblin companion grabbed me by the arm, forcing me to stop. I glanced back at him. His fiery glare and grit teeth told me everything I needed to know.

Something was wrong. Somewhere behind us, something bad was about to happen. Our pursuers? Kobolds, most likely. But what about that trio that was stumbling about on the road to the town, having just left the forest?

My heart simultaneously dropped and beat several times quicker.

I couldn't see their features properly from this far out, but there was three people. One was cloaked, one's clothing was torn and dishevelled and the final one was wearing black. Something about the group twisted a knot in my heart, leading me to believe they looked familiar.

My head began to ache. My breathing hitched.

…Was it them? Was that trio of familiar appearances those girls…? Even though I've believed they were in front of me the whole time, were they really following _me_?

…No, that doesn't make sense. If I happened to be in front of them, they would have surely caught up while I was carrying the boy. There's the matter of the gap in my memory, too, which leads to several possibilities I don't want to acknowledge, but there's no way I'd ever have gotten so far ahead of them…

But…what if it really _is_ them?

"…"

Before I knew it, my feet were moving by themselves.

They were carrying me towards the trio. All senses of self-preservation have gone out the window. I just needed to know if it really is them, no matter the cost.

The one with the torn clothing fell face first onto the road. They weren't moving.

I began to run as fast as I can. I began to run as fast as I can because if that person happened to be one of the girls I knew, I wouldn't forgive myself for turning my back on her and leaving her to die.

The other two were trying to lift the body, but they couldn't because they, too, were injured.

I continued to run. I was huffing and puffing, and my entire body ached. And as I got closer, I was able to see their features. I was able to gaze upon the faces I _should_ know and the intricacies of their figures.

But I slowly came to a stop instead of speeding up.

It wasn't them. This group of three wasn't the trio I knew. The person in black was even a guy. The other two were female, but they didn't look like the mage or Knight in any possible way.

With a growl, I grit my teeth and clenched my fists. I could feel my nails pierce my palms.

How could I have been so stupid? I knew it didn't make sense for these people to be the girls I was chasing, but I let my hopes rise despite this. I consciously knew the truth but didn't want to acknowledge it. I was desperate to ascertain their safety as their self-proclaimed guardian. All factors led to my rash, idiotic and emotional response to seeing something that looked remotely like the trio.

On the road, the girl in the cloak started to call out a name while the guy began to scream for help. They were probably too far from the town for anyone to hear.

Behind them, there was movement in the trees.

I quickly readied Knight's sword and began to move towards the group. Needless to say, they weren't in any shape to fight anything, all three of them injured in some kind of way, both physically and emotionally, so they weren't going to be able to protect themselves. They'd need someone to fight for them until the remaining two snapped out of their stupor, and I just so happened to be the closest one that could fight for them.

My companion was somewhere behind me, probably resenting me for my actions, but I didn't care about what he thought anymore. If he wanted to kill me even more than before, so be it. He'd just have to wait until this next fight is over.

And then it happened.

A large group of kobolds poured out of the trees. There were probably twenty of them. Some of them wore leather and had swords while others were naked with spears.

The two standing adventurers appeared to freeze mid-turn as they registered the fact there was a wave of death charging towards them.

My feet began to move as quickly as they could, my muscles screaming with each forced exertion as I pushed myself beyond the limits of what I was physically able to do.

Would I reach the adventurers in time? There was about twenty meters between us and thirty between them and the kobolds, so I would under any normal circumstances, however, my body was burning.

It was heavy and hot and almost refused to work. It was like I was submerged in magma and my muscles had burnt away, leaving only bones and scorched flesh. It was almost as if I was dead.

I bit down on my lip to keep me awake. A metallic taste spread throughout my mouth. I supressed the urge to scream and forced my body to move. Each step sent waves of nausea through my body. Each breathe forced upon me light-headedness. Each tremble and each jerk made me regret charging to my inevitable death like the fool I was.

But I continued to move.

I don't know why, but I just…was. Besides, these adventurers have already resigned themselves to their fate. They weren't fighting back. They accepted the fact they'd die. They weren't any of my business.

So why am I moving?

I don't know. Maybe it's because I hate the kobolds. Maybe it's because I want to try and save the humans. Maybe I want to die.

But my heart was stirring. I could feel the rapid pounding of blood in my skull. The crimson liquid was hot and burnt my nerves.

Despite the pain, I was feeling…more alive than I ever have. The adrenaline was flowing and my mind was racing and as I accepted the fact that I'd probably meet my end here, trying to protect these three adventurers I know nothing about, I was reminded of the situation at the village.

How many days ago was that? It's been at least a week, but I can still see the great fire in my mind. I can still feel the pure rage. I can still feel the regret and the naïve desire to become a hero.

…Ah. That might explain it. Just like last time, when there were people I could have saved, I wanted to be a hero. A childishly warped view of the blade of justice. A naivety that was supported by the strength of my broken soul.

I wanted to become that. I wanted to embody it, simply to save myself from a life of regret and self-loathing.

But I didn't manage to become such a thing… At the last moment, I froze up, leading to the demise of a young girl and her father and the rest of the village.

I could have saved them, but I didn't because I was weak, both in body and mind. And I still am. Even if I reach these adventurers in time, I'm not strong enough or quick enough to protect even myself. I'll die alongside them.

So why am I moving? Why am I trying to protect these people that will likely turn their backs on me when everything is said and done? Why am I trying to prolong their existence and defy the fate they were given at birth?

Even though my body was dying. Even though I was slowly killing myself. Even though there was no need to… I continued moving.

Unlike the last time, my body didn't freeze up. I continued moving. My mouth tasted only metal. My hands and feet were numb. I was seeking something in this battle to quench the unease in my heart.

However, despite my efforts, the kobolds were quicker than me.

They would reach the adventurers before me and would strike them down and everything would have been for nothing.

I shouldn't even be moving to protect them in the first place.

But I want to. Because I'm selfish. Because I still regret what happened at the village. Because I hate myself for being powerless. Because I want the adventurers to live and breathe and feel something other than nothingness and self-loathing.

I want them to do what I, in this state, have not done for a long while.

So, to let them do that, I must offer myself up and fight. I need to become quicker and stronger and more vicious. I need to move more efficiently. I need to abandon all thoughts and reasoning.

Even if I must borrow that _thing's_ power.

Even if I must forsake myself.

Even if I must drown in darkness.

I need to be strong just this once because I'm a horrible, selfish goblin that does not care for his own life.


	29. Aid (3)

I'm not going to make it in time. Even though I've offered myself up to that demon that resides in my core, I'm not going to make it. Why? I can't move faster than I currently am. I can hardly hold this sword at my side.

…Despite this, I must continue moving. I'm going to die. I've accepted this fact. It's inevitable. So there's only one thing I can do. I must hold my head high and charge straight into the open arms of that reaper.

But, if there's one thing I can do, something that'll change the course of fate at least a little, I will do it.

With ragged breath, with burning lungs, with pain piercing my heart, I screamed as loud as I possibly could. My vocal folds were on the verge of tearing, but that's okay. I don't need to speak here. Silence is all I need to convey my feelings.

Did my scream reach anyone? The adventurers seem to have snapped out of their stupor as they began readying themselves for combat, one raising a sword and the other a staff, and a few kobolds glanced in my direction.

…This is good. I've altered the flow of fate just a little. Even if those adventurers were to die here alongside me, at least they died fighting. They wouldn't have been discarded by their own volition.

And that's all that matters in the end.

To be able to die with a smile, to laugh and tell yourself it's all alright…

I was instantly filled with regret. Fleeting memories of a distant past came back to me.

This wasn't the time for such recollections, but a part of me held onto these images and wouldn't let go.

They were nothing more than a burden now, nothing more than weighty baggage that has dragged me down in the name of my self-righteous humanity.

…If I could discard the memories and leave the feelings behind, I would have done so long ago. Maybe then, this life would have been fulfilling. Maybe then, I would be a normal goblin and would be happy.

Maybe then, I would have died all on my lonesome with nothing but the starry sky accompanying me.

I squeezed my eyes shut as hard as I could and bit down on my lip harder than I ever have. My fangs pierced the flesh, fresh blood pouring forth onto my tastebuds. My body quivered.

This wasn't the time for such a thing.

Right now, in this moonlit field, I was about to engage in battle. If I was to reflect on the past, my rage would evaporate and I would collapse. I would be nothing but a burden to those adventurers, not that they would care about me.

So, I must hold onto that fire that resides in my heart, even if it burns me, and once again scream out the agony in my soul.

…If it is the only thing I can do, so be it. If it is the only path I can take henceforth, so be it.

Life. Death. None of it matters to me anymore.

All that matters to me is the completion of my current desire and the inevitable end of my worthless life.

In the next instant, without knowing how it had happened, there was an explosion of fire and smoke. It engulfed a large portion of the kobold's vanguard and the cloaked girl, yet the boy gathered their collapsed companion in their arms and turned and ran away.

Was this a suicide attack? The one with the staff may have offered their own life up to the gods so their friends can live.

To this me, that is certainly an admirable act but it's not something I'm going to accept so easily. Not in this situation, at least, as that is more than reckless. I mean, the kobolds will certainly catch up to the fleeing adventurers and spear them in the back, so is it not a better idea to face the army as a group and die knowing you all did your best?

Even if it was a negligent amount, I could feel a little bit of strength gather in my legs as a bitter taste drowned out the metallic texture of blood, the scent of burning flesh and the sound of agonizing screams and groans being drowned out by the rapid thumping of blood in my skull.

I was getting closer now, being only a dozen or so steps away from the path, yet the kobolds began to break through the cloud of smoke and the smouldering corpses, trampling their kin to chase down the adventurers.

Compared to the kobolds, I was a few meters ahead of their most forward vanguard so I may be able to intercept some of them, but apart from my interference, the rest would be up to the other adventurers' luck.

…This time I won't fail.

A final roar left my throat as I felt the flesh inside of it tear apart, fresh blood pouring into my mouth as a distorted shriek attracted the attention of several kobolds. I burst out of the long grass and onto the path, quickly coming to a stop in the centre of it, and I pivoted on the balls of my feet to face my foe.

The first kobold continued to charge towards me, spear held out to its side as it seemed to grin. Did it sense my weakness? Or was it my lack of a proper stance? Knight's sword was resting on the floor to my right, after all, both of my hands wrapped around the handle with a tight grip, so it's easy to understand why the kobold is getting cocky.

Unfortunately for it, I'm not going to be too easy to take down.

Without losing any momentum, it thrust the spear towards my chest as it rapidly approached, the tip aiming straight for my heart. It was all I could do to twist to the right to avoid the strike, but with screaming biceps I swung my sword up into its armpit using the momentum of my movement, slicing straight through the flesh and into their chest.

The kobold stumbled past me, blood spurting all over my body as I had seemingly hit a major artery, and even though I was holding onto its handle as tightly as I could, the sword was ripped out of my grasp as the force of the kobold falling to the floor behind me threatened to force me onto my back.

One foot sliding to the side and into the earth was all I needed to stay upright, yet without a weapon I was powerless against the oncoming wave of kobolds.

It was all I could to slowly exhale through grit teeth, waiting for the second kobold to try its luck.

And then its spear flew, stealing flesh off my side as I narrowly dodged the attack, my jaw creaking and groaning as it clenched shut as tightly as it could, pain resonating throughout my entire mouth as my teeth threatened to crack under the pressure.

Following this, the kobold simply ran past me without losing much speed, leaving it up to the third kobold to deal with me.

Fortunately, it was only a few steps behind the second and wasn't in any position to attack me with the spear, but instead it tried to clobber me with an outstretched arm. I ducked to avoid the strike, crouching down low, and as the fourth quickly came to a stop, preparing to spear me from above, I pounced forward and rammed my head into its stomach, forcing it to stumble backwards.

As my body threatened to keel over, my legs unsteady and trembling as my eyes began to spin, the kobold fell onto its rump, becoming an obstacle to the wave of kobolds behind it. One rammed into the back of it, flipping over onto its face, and the rest quickly stormed past them.

…Watching this, I fell to one knee, panting heavily as nausea and vertigo quickly consumed me, but I slowly forced myself to stand as the kobolds ran past my figure, each fibre of my existence trembling from a grotesque concoction of determination and an incessant burning in my heart that screamed at me to stand my ground.

Even though I was trembling, even though my body wanted to give up and let itself die, even though I was ready to accept my death, my heart wouldn't let that reaper come. My heart was thrashing about in my chest, never stopping for rest, and it was moving my body without considering the consequences of its foolishness.

It forced me to collect the spear that was in front of me. It forced me to point the tip at the two enemies that were in front of me. It forced me to stay alive.

Was this my survival instinct kicking in? Despite the dangerous encounters I've been in, I haven't quite felt this way before. It was strange, yet pleasant. It gave me enough strength to stand and remain awake, but it reminded me that I could collapse at any moment.

At this point, every strike would matter and would be something I'll be unable to take back, so I must make every moment count, lest I keel over and die.

…It wasn't me who made the first move. One of the kobolds, now barehanded as I was wielding its spear, rushed me first, closing the distance between us in an instant. I thrust the spear forward, my strike slow and weak, so the kobold managed to dodge with a twist of its torso, however, as it crouched down low and attempted to pounce on me, obviously intending on knocking me to the ground, it was my turn to dodge.

I ducked low, almost laying down on the ground, and felt the wind warp as the kobold flew over me, landing somewhere behind me with a growl. I then sprung to the side as the second's spear entered my peripheral vision, the tip stabbing into the ground where I had been a moment prior.

…That was a close call. I certainly can't keep it up if the fight's going to be like this, so I need to put everything I have into my next movements.

Following this, I turned to face the spear kobold, my enemy mirroring my action, and as it stepped back to create some distance, I lunged forward with the spear held behind me, my arms suddenly shooting forth like a cannon to deliver a powerful strike that pierced the fleshy torso of my foe.

Not giving my enemy any room to escape backwards, I launched myself forward instead, pushing the spear in deeper as the kobold spat blood at me and shrieked. At this point, I felt a pair of scaly arms wrap themselves around my neck, so I thrust my head back into the kobold's chest, letting go of the spear, and kicked off the ground, jumping backwards into my enemy.

We fell back, the kobold letting go of me as it hit the ground first with a loud grunt. I took this chance to roll off it and jump to my feet, but the kobold quickly wrapped one of its hands around my ankle, pulling on my leg as it hissed at me.

It then rolled to the side, pulling me down to the floor where it tried to tangle me up in its flexible body. To resist this, I flailed about, punching the lizard in the jaw several times with both hands, but it didn't seem to want to let go. Quickly discovering my attacks were having no effect on the kobold, I tried to grab its face, attempting to find its eyes.

And then my fingers quickly found one, my index finger jabbing straight through it with its long and sharp fingernail, the kobold stopping to scream and writhe about in pain. It quickly let me go in favour of clawing at its face with its hands, giving me the chance to rise and face the other kobold.

Instead of moving to attack me, it was kneeling, panting as it gripped the shaft of the spear that was sticking through its stomach, and the only thing it could do was glare at me. It hissed and growled and roared, but it didn't attempt to attack me.

It stood and stared as blood ran down the dark shaft and onto its hand, leaving us in a deadlock as I panted and heaved and glared back.

I glanced down the path towards the outpost, having some leeway to do so, wanting to know what the situation was there.

…Everything seemed to be fine as the kobolds were stuck outside, screaming and roaring as they clawed at and attacked the walls. Even though it was quite far from this part of the road, I couldn't make out the form of any slouched or prone figures along the path or near the gate so those two adventurers must have made it inside safely.

A wide grin spread across my face as I began to stumble. The adrenaline was quickly fading away, leaving my muscles to crumble under their own weight and pain, but I forced myself to stand lest I keel over in a place I shouldn't.

It was more pain than I could describe and all I wanted to do was rest, but first, I had to rejoice and bathe in the fact I'd managed to successfully save those two adventurers. Even though it wasn't the trio I was looking for, I'd managed to accomplish some good with this life of mine, so I should be satisfied and rest, being content with this achievement.

But for some reason, I was unhappy. Was it the fact I was unable to save the mage? Or was the missing boy weighing down on my mind? Maybe I was depressed for no reason, yet as I stared up at the waning moons, a sigh escaping my mouth, I was unable to figure out what was wrong with my heart.

The almost silent footsteps of someone behind me forced me to precariously spin around on the balls of my feet, almost sending me sideways.

Standing there in the moonlight was my goblin companion, frowning with a murderous glare that revealed a great fire in his eyes. His furrowed brow deepened as he opened his mouth to speak, his voice naught but a whisper that contained the strength of many fierce gods as he mercilessly pierced the skull of the kobold with his spear, "What are you doing?"

"…" Even though I moved my mouth, no words came out.

This is to be expected considering the fact I ruined them earlier with all my screaming and shouting, but it hurts more than I want to acknowledge. The taste of blood was flooding my palate and I continuously had to swallow clumps of it as it gathered in my throat, so things weren't looking good for me.

…Even though I survived this encounter, the internal bleeding in my throat, combined with the wound on my side and the fact my muscles are essentially defunct, will probably kill me.

Suddenly, my vision began to turn dark as the feeling in my legs began to quickly vanish, and as I struggled to keep myself upright, my legs trembling and burning as if they were submerged in boiling water, there was a humane groan and mutter to my left.

That was probably the mage that had sacrificed themselves earlier with that explosion, so I'm surprised they managed to survive despite their foolishness, however, they mustn't be in good shape all things considered.

…I began to stumble towards them, carefully watching where I tread as one slipup would mean falling into darkness. I wanted to check on them and see if they were fine because I thought they had died. They were also someone I selfishly wanted to save, so as a sense of guilt and duty rushed my heart, I was hoping she was in a good enough condition to survive the night.

But before I reached her, she slowly pushed herself into a seated position with her right arm, her body smouldering as her clothing fell away into ash. Her flesh is a dark shade of red, some parts being a grievous black, and the bone on her left arm was visible in some areas, almost as if the muscle itself had been blown away.

Strangely, most of the skin above her neck was untouched, revealing the fact she was of a pale skin tone, a colour that is akin to a doll's. Her hair, a shocking shade of crimson, neatly fell on her charred shoulders, and as she tried to push herself onto her feet, failing to do so as she was visibly unable to support her own weight, our gazes met.

Narrow, yet devoid of any strength. A dark chocolate in colour.

There was no emotion on her face, bar the thin, pink lips that were frowning, her cheeks pale and her brow relaxed.

…Seeing her face, I felt pity for the briefest of moments, and as I continued towards her, a firm hand pushing down on my shoulder forced me to fall to my knees.

"…Why won't you tell me what you're doing?"

I did not respond. No, I was unable to respond. Even though my brain registered my companion's words and had created a response, instead of nothing coming out of my mouth as a result of my scarred throat, I began to wheeze and heave like a steaming kettle, my body rapidly trembling as I spat up a glob of blood that had formed in my mouth.

My body was surely failing now due to my foolishness, all my strength having faded in an instant upon me being forced to the ground, yet this was something I was expecting. I would most likely die here, yet this was okay. I wasn't afraid, unlike the last time I had died, and it would surely be less painful than a knife to the heart, yet I couldn't be too sure.

However, due to my destroyed body and defunct muscles, I wasn't given any leeway to move, despite the fact my instincts desperately wanted it to. My core quickly failed me, leaving me to fall flat onto my stomach, and as I began to cough up even more blood at an increased pace, my life force sticky and clumped together and black in colour, I forced myself to curl up into a ball where I would surely feel more comfortable.

…This is the end. My body is not responding to me and my mind is slowly becoming empty. I can barely groan as the feelings in all my limbs begin to fade, and as I desperately will my hands and feet to move, the pain in my body only increases, embracing me in a simultaneous stabbing, burning and numbing sensation that rattles even my soul.

It didn't take too long for me to begin to twitch and spasm wildly, either, starting with my hands and feet that flailed about without any restraint, and soon after that, there was a strong pain that surged throughout my chest, forcing me to gasp and choke with wide eyes. I desperately tried to scream, silently wishing for this hell to end, and as I managed to stare up at my companion, meeting his pitying stare, a great wall of darkness rapidly consumed everything.

My senses faded away in what was almost an instant, starting with my vision, and it wasn't soon after that the concept of being conscious quickly slipped out of my grasp.

* * *

 **Story isn't over yet, nor is it abandoned. Thank you for your continued support.**


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